How to Start, Plan, and Keep a Date Night

It's very common as the relationship progresses, for busy couples to begin to take each other for granted. Usually the first thing that goes in an established relationship is the quality time spent with each other building the relationship. Starting a date night is a great way for couples to 'stay connected' no matter how busy their schedule may become.

What is a date night


A date night is a way to rekindle and reminisce on the times when you both first started dating, and the giddiness it made you feel. For most people, during the dating period both people are on their best behaviors, and arguments and disagreements are kept at a minimum. Many people feel that after they 'got' the person, they wanted, they are no longer dating. This usually makes one or both of the people in the relationship complacent. Complacency is the silent killer of relationships. Date night is a way of taking the ho hum, and turning it into Ooh…hun!

Starting a date night


When you start a date night, you should pick a day of the week that's good for both parties, where there will be few chances for missing the date. Honestly look at and asses both schedules, and sit down and determine the date that's best for both. It's good to also take into account the proposed start and maybe end of date night. For some people, a few hours is fine, for others, date night means all night long. Sit and decided what's the best day and time that both people will be able to actively and openly participate in date night. When you decide on a day and time for date, it's also good to set up the ground rules for how date night should be. These rules should include reasons why and in what circumstances a date night could be broken, and what the penalties for breaking the date night would be. You might also pick an alternative night for date night when the times come when unavoidable situations may arise.

Planning the date night


It takes two devoted people working on the relationship to make and keep the relationship last. As an established couple both parties should actively participate in planning the date night. It's best if each person alternates every other week planning the date night for the other person. Choose activities that both parties enjoy doing and actively can participate in. Be creative and be different. Don't settle for routine when it's your turn to plan for date night. Don't be afraid to try something new and/or choose something that both parties have been interested in trying, but have not done.

If you want to plan a date night for talking, remember to keep the conversation positive and be reflective on your feelings, the good times you had, and the great times yet to come. Date night is not the time, nor the place to air grievances and/or to dump on the other party. Remember that the reason that you want to plan and keep a date night is because you want to continue to build on the intimacy that's already established and to make sure that neither party loses interest in keeping a date night.

Keeping the date night


The most important reason to start and plan a date night is making sure that you keep the date night going. You should try your best to ensure that nothing stops or prevents you from enjoying many nights of date nights throughout your relationship. Inevitably through time, situation, and/or profession, date night will be missed or cancelled. One of the best ways to keep a date night is to establish SPP's (Sexual Penalty Points) for the person that breaks a date night engagement. This is a fun and harmless way that both people win, when a date night is missed. Sit together and make a list of postcards with various sensual acts that a person can pick from when a SPP has been assessed.

Another great way to keep date night is to give friendly reminders and hints about what could be expected during the next date night. Many times the tease or contemplation of what could be expected on date night is enough to intrigue the other party to make sure they don't miss it. Of course, you should be prepared to match the expectation! Giving hints and leaving reminder notes about what you have planned for date night is a great way to keep both parties interest peaked in wanting to keep the date night alive.

Date night is the responsibility of both people in the relationship. Just like it took two people to start the relationship, it will take the same two to make the necessary sacrifices to keep the date night dates. These represent just a few things that you can do to keep your date night active and your relationship moving in the right direction.

Hit with the Ugly Stick

If you more closely resemble Gollum then Brad Pitt, have no fear, you too can date attractive women. This seems like a pipe dream for many men, but if you know how women work you can understand why "that girl is with him". While being easy on the eyes can really help a guy get a woman, any woman no matter how attractive, this can be especially true when it comes to the women who inspire car accidents and double takes, however there are exceptions to the rule most definitely. Once you know the exceptions, you can use them to your advantage.

The number one thing to remember is that if you have an award winning personality, then you don't need to be so concerned about how your look. Women are much less aesthetically inclined. Looks almost always fall second place to a man who has a good heart. This is a big reason why you will see men with women who look way out of their league. Most women know that the real good looking men are jerks because they are aware how easily they can get women to fall all over them. This fact alone makes normal women, not the stuck up and full of them self kind, stay away from the extremely attractive men. So, what your mom told you when you were a kid really is true, it is what is on the inside that matters.

Another reason you will see the hunchback with Selma Hayek on his arm, is because a guy who does not show up his date in looks is very desirable to women. Think about how long a woman takes to get ready to go out. She wants to look even better than she normally does and so she will primp and spackle for hours until she looks just perfect. A guy, who is not so much the stunning specimen of a perfect man, is perfect to accentuate a beautiful woman. She wants all the eyes to be on her, not him, so when she has a man that is average looking she will ensure that she is what the focus of attention is. This also can be related to those men who now have a phrase especially for them, the metrosexuals. If you don't know what a metrosexual is, don't worry, most people don't, but a metrosexual is a man who spends the same amount of time and energy on his appearance as a woman, or a homosexual male. Most real women, not the fake kind that you would find in Hollywood or L.A., do not want a man who spends more time getting ready then they do. They also do not want a man who would back out of a fight if someone disrespected his lady, because he doesn't want to get his new $300 pink, button up silk shirt dirty. A woman spends a lot of time ensuring that she is the center of attention for a reason, and no man should take this away from her. Besides, it is better that she is the focus, because a beautiful woman on a man's arm makes him that much more attractive.

Yet another thing to keep in mind about the way women think is that they are all about the inner man. They want a man who will make them feel like they are the most beautiful thing in the entire world, and a man who really knows that he is lucky to have a beautiful woman, will always appreciate her. This is where the male models really lose out. They care only about looks because they want a woman that will match their beauty, in doing so they miss out on the women who have a well rounded beauty that goes much deeper than their botox. This is where the average man scores. When you treat a woman with respect, and you show them that you are there for much more than the looks of a woman, this is what makes for a good relationship and this is what opens the door for even the most troll looking men. A woman is ultimately looking for substance in a relationship and if you can provide that then you do not even have to worry about the Fabio's of the world. In this also you have to realize that in a lot of ways the woman you see before you at the present probably didn't always look the way she does now. A guy who is average looking will really do well for himself to find women who do not look like they stepped off the red carpet and instead look for the women who are still beautiful but are not swarmed with the model men. Barbie and Ken can have each other, they are beautiful on the outside but completely hollow inside, and really that would not make for any kind of a relationship. Scope out instead, the women who do not resemble a plastic doll. Even those who look a bit sloppy will, when a man adores and loves them, start to dress and groom better to ensure that her man looks good. A potential knock out can serve you better than the store bought kind anyway.

Pros and Cons of the Age Gap

Being with someone who is several years older or younger than you can be both a blessing and a curse. Before you decide to get serious, you should know what you're getting into.

If you're younger...

PROS

You get to be with someone mature. Someone who doesn't "act out" or throw tantrums just because you happened to mention that you have a crush on a celebrity. Also, because of your lover's life experience, he/she can dish out valuable advice that you couldn't get from your friends.

You can learn a thing or two - and I'm not just talking about life lessons. Older people have had more sexual experiences, and if you've got the right lover, he or she won't hesitate to teach you some new "moves".

Your lover is more interesting than people your age. Again, this is mostly because of life experiences. Older men and women have gone through enough problems and opportunities, and they have several funny, inspiring, painful, and horrifying stories to tell. Also, if the age gap is wide enough, the type of music or movies that he or she likes may be completely different from yours, and getting a taste of these "oldies" can help you grow culturally.

CONS

Emotional baggage. The older man and the older woman have enough emotional baggage to drag you down. Beware of verbally psychoanalyzing their actions - it's unlikely that they want a "kid" to tell them what they did wrong in their lives. Instead, be understanding and make sure that your older lover isn't an emotional vampire who will suck you dry.

If you're older...

PROS

The younger man/woman can inspire you with a sense of awe. Having a young, new body next to you can knock a few years off of your own age. You get to do more youthful things, and you tap the mindset of today's youth.

The younger lover doesn't have that much emotional baggage. This means that things are more "happy-go-lucky" and smoother with the younger lover. You won't get late night conversations about every ex that's ever broken his or her heart. Also, there's not much that you can get compared to. Odds are, if he or she says that you're the best sex in his/her life, it's true.

The younger lover looks up to you. This is because of all the advice and life lessons you have to offer. You've been through a lot, and your lover knows this. Odds are, you're the first one he or she talks to during times of conflict.

CONS

The younger lover can be immature. Sometimes, young lovers are such perfectionists that they seek all sorts of things that you can't give. This is why, if you want to go out with someone younger, make sure that he or she is mature for his or her age.

Great Date Ideas

A lot of us know when together with a person (whether first date, twentieth date, engaged, or married) it is not only the company, but what you do together that keeps things interesting. A great deal of stress is taken out of 'dating' when the both of you are having fun.

Dating is supposed to be fun! No matter how old you are or how many dates you have been on, there is no reason that the next one cannot be better than the last.

Being engaged in activities and having fun, creates a relaxed environment and reduces anxiety and awkward moments on a date. Being comfortable and enjoying your surrounding creates the opportunity to enjoy your company as well.

We all know of the 'dinner and a movie' formula, but that is predictable and watching a movie does not even warrant a chance to talk to each other. Doing something novel and different will be appreciated by your date and will create a heightened sense of excitement.

Nothing is enthralling about routines; even if you and your partner have 'most-visited spots' it is okay to shake things up every once and a while, and you might find another spot that you can add to your repertoire.

The following is a list of 'different' places to go on a date. They range from public to private and active to inactive, but the difference lies in doing something out of the ordinary and that spawns fun and conversation. Aside from thinking about your hair looking great, having stellar charm, and the chemistry in the air, you need something to do. The following places and things are not ranked in any sort of order, they are there to help you generate some ideas and enjoy being with your partner.

- Take your date to a class or a lesson. There are many things out there to learn that could be interesting: an art class, dancing class, acting, pottery, etc.


- Everyone likes to laugh. A comedy club would be the place to go to enjoy a few chuckles with your date.


- Go to an art exhibit or museum. The visual stimulation will spark up some conversation and the venue presents an opportunity for you and your date to chat.


- Animals are interesting. Take your date to the zoo or aquarium and take a gander at some animals.


- Is it a nice day? Pack some food, a blanket, and candles and go have a picnic at the park or lake.


- Are you feeling lucky? Take your chances gambling at the casino to win some extra dollars along with your date's heart.


- Will there be a next date? Go to a palm reader and find out each other's fortunes. It will at least be fun if not completely scientific.


- Go see some live music. Find out what genre of music your date likes and see if any bands are playing local.


- Go for a ride. Order a limo and take a ride around the city for awhile and don't forget to stick your heads out of the moon-roof.


- Go take care of yourselves. Take your date to a spa and get a massage and facials.


- Have you ever been on a hot-air balloon? There is a first time for everything. Parachuting is also a high thrill to try out if you have never done so.


- Go to the theater or opera. Being cultured is a big turn-on for either sex.


- A sporting event can be a fun place to go. If you both are from the same area you can show your town pride together.


- Is the circus in town? How about a fair? It might seem puerile, but you are never too old to have fun!


- Go to a spa together. Getting a facial, body massage, and having your hair look great can be fun and aesthetically pleasing for you both.


- Go shopping together for a new look. Men could always use some womanly expertise on clothes and the guy can aid in giving his approval of a new, beautiful wig or other fashion accessory.


- If you own a motorcycle, going for a long ride on a nice day can be exhilarating.


- Miniature golf or chip and putt can be a good time. It is active and will provide time for conversation.


- Drive to the beach and take a walk along the shoreline.


- Go to a lake and take out a boat or canoe.

All of these events could work by themselves, but finding out about particular interests of your partner will help. Subtly get some information from them beforehand, so you can make your preparations. You could keep it safe with the dinner and movie, but if you really like the person and want to make a lasting impression, do something extra-ordinary.

Relationship Tips - Making The Effort

Trying to figure out how to put the romance back into your relationship? Want to feel more connected to your partner? The following tips can help you get more out of the relationship you have now.

Tip #1: Keeping in Touch with your Partner

You tune up your car. You go in for dental checkups and annual doctor appointments. Have you ever considered how important it is to have a "check up" for your relationship? What is the purpose of a check-up? To ensure that your health/teeth/car are all in working order!! Why would your relationship be any different? Think about it. Your needs constantly change, your partner's needs change too. Logically, your relationship has to change over time as well. It is important to communicate these changes to your partner; otherwise, your partner is making the attempt to meet past needs that may not have a purpose in your current life (and vice versa). The more you "check in" with your partner, the greater opportunity you have to circumvent misunderstandings and maintain a healthy relationship.

Tip #2: What Goes Around Comes Around

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Givers gain?" This is the motto to an international networking group, BNI. The belief is that if you give unconditionally without worrying about what you'll get out of it, that your giving will be returned tenfold. How often have you thought about withholding yourself from your partner because they haven't reciprocated in a while or because you've tried in the past to no avail. Think about this....if you gave to your partner unconditionally, that they will be more willing to return the giving??

I'm not talking about giving so much of yourself that you end up becoming resentful. I'm talking about the little things that can go a long way. Try it and see how your partner responds!

Tip #3: Go Beyond the Holidays

During the holidays, it is fascinating how everyone goes all out to demonstrate their love for one another: chocolates, cards, candy, flowers, jewelry.......It's all nice, but love needs to be demonstrated to your partner 365 days a year (366 if it's Leap Year!). Love can be expressed in many ways. How do you express love to your partner? Is it the type of love your partner needs? Some people like gifts, other like hugs, and even others prefer help with the daily routines.

An open discussion between you and your partner can uncover if the type of love you give is actually what your partner needs and vice versa. Understanding how your partner appreciates you will allow you to respond appropriately, resulting in an increased connection and less feeling unappreciated. Remember love is..........year around! And it gives so much in return!!!

Tip #4: Keep in Touch!

This time is full of responsibilities: children, bills, finances, work, health.....but where does your relationship fit in?

You need to give your relationship equal time to be successful. It's easy to say, "We'll do that tomorrow," but if "tomorrow" becomes "tomorrow" again and again, eventually, you may wake up one morning and realize it's been weeks or even months since you've made time for your partner.

You and your partner made time for each other when you first met. How did you make time for each other then? You went on dates. You would agree on a time to go out, be picked up at the door and spend an evening together. You did it once! You can do it again! Start by setting at least one night a month for the two of you to go out. Get a babysitter (if needed), make reservations and enjoy the time to reconnect.

Remember, the bills, finances and work responsibilities will be there the next day. One day the children will be off and having families of their own. Your health may not be what it is today. For all these reasons, today is the day to make a strong connection with your partner....and keep it nourished and healthy.

Tip #5: Claim Your Space

Nurturing your relationship and quality time is important. However, it is equally important to nurture yourself as individuals. Take time occasionally for yourself away from your spouse. Go out with friends...get involved with a hobby...whatever interests you have, foster them. It gives you a chance to regain your identity separate from your relationship, and provides you opportunities to share more with your partner at the same time.

Get Over Him Already

Sure it stings, ladies. Did he cheat on you? Say he wasn't ready for a committed relationship? Move out? Now that it's over, it's healthy to be a bit, well, bitter. How you handle your heartbreak (and anger) is a good indication of how you'll approach your next relationship. Trusting and caring or resentful and suspicious. Relax, most guys are not out to ruin you. Here are seven unique ways to soothe your hurt without hurting him.

Write his name on your toilet paper lots of times. His first and last. And then use it.

Delete his name and number from your cell. It's a good way to purge him from your life.

One clever gym had a Valentine's Day Sucks workout; tape his pic on a punching bag and have at it.

Bonfire. Unless it's expensive jewelry, get rid of all the "gifts" he gave you. Have water handy. Remember that "Friends" episode? Give the first responders a day off.

New circles. It's likely you'll run into to him unless he's moved out of town. So reduce that risk and join a new gym, find a new club or take up a new hobby that will remove you from his favorite haunts.

Get out. A weekend away may be the balm, as staying home may just bring up bad memories. Travel is also the best way to meet new people. A cruise to nowhere may be a cost-effective way to enjoy yourself without emptying your wallet.

A liberty party. Throw yourself a girls-only "I'm free" soirée. Have fun now that you're single again. Enjoy the freedom with friends. Party game suggestion: The first person who says, "I told you so" has to clean your bathroom.

The best way to get over someone is to give yourself some time. Remember that the hurt isn't forever. And any change worth making, is worth a little pain.