Internet Dating – Quick Success Comes With Trust

If you had a sister who was online dating, what would you tell her?

You'd warn her, "Every guy is a stalker! A perv! A player! An axe-murderer!"

In fact, you have to begin by allowing women a good measure of distrust at the start. She doesn't know you and, frankly, she shouldn't want to go out with you until you've proven yourself trustworthy.

The onus is on you.

Here's how it goes: Trust comes first. Then relaxation.

Only then, will she reveal and release her passion safely.

Now, the biggest mistake most men make is trying to be her friend. To "nice" her into liking you. That is NOT what I am talking about.

You want her to trust you, but as an edgy lover, not as a pal. You need to be exciting but trustworthy.

It's a delicate line to walk. You have to send a series of key "trust-building signifiers." Here are two simple techniques among several that I have tested.

Trust Creating Technique #1: Explore Common Ground

The best way is to read her profile carefully, study how she IMs or emails you, then find one key piece of common ground. And lead with it. Seems obvious, but there is the smart way and the dumb way.

Did you go to the same school? If you both are involved with the same or similar organization – great. Church or charity, tennis, animal rescue. If she has a picture of a dog with her, then tell her a story about your dog, or your childhood dog, or your favorite dog movie.

The key here is don't be a dork and just say "I love dogs too!" Don't SAY it, . . SHOW your love of dogs. . Describe it. Get in some touch words, or sound words. How do you feel when you're with the mutt? Tell a story, paint a picture.

Another common mistake men is that they overdo this technique.

You don't want to sound like you are desperately trying to convince her you are safe. You just want to blend that commonality into the overall electrifying, contrasting signifier flow you are sending her way.

Trust Creating Technique #2: Admit That You Are Both "Adorably Pathetic"

Get above the conversation. Show that you have some altitude and some perspective on how man/woman dynamic go. Tell her you think she is "adorably pathetic."

That means you expect her to be female, think like a female, write like a female, behave like a female – but you will adore her for it. Because she's being just what she's supposed to be.

A girl.

Create trust by adoring her for those foreign girly things about her.

Check among the music she likes, find the sweetest, most "chick" one – especially the Dave Matthews Band. Bust on her for being such a girl for liking it, but throw in that dash of adoration for her pathetic taste.

By the way, you should notch up your advantage. Download Dave's greatest hits and know the songs she loves so that when she brings them up, you are strangely well informed. Trust. Commonality. Instant rapport.

Hold this one in reserve. Unleash your knowledge later. How come you know so much about the music you made fun of? Suddenly you are mysterious. Knowing. This is good. You want to be full of surprises.

If its really girly music, like Damien Rice or John Mayer, you can say you don't like to admit it, but that every so often, you take a break from Radiohead or Metallica and balance yourself out with a dose of Taylor.

Then suggest that this is music you might listen to with someone you care about under the covers on a rainy Sunday morning (paint this kind of picture!).

Build trust by conveying that you like women for being women, even if their tastes are adorably pathetic. We're not supposed to "get" their tastes. But how and masculine, secure and trustworthy to be cool with the difference.

Now she can express herself in the safety of your strong, tolerant, fun and wise container.