Life lessons

There's a place in Wayland where some people go to spend their last days and where others learn a lot about life.

The Wayside Hospice at Parmenter Community Health is nestled off Cochituate Road, close to Dudley Pond and less than a mile away from Wayland High School, where the future seems endless for those inside.

This story is about three people whose lives have been interwined with Parmenter: a globe-trotting investment banker suddenly widowed with two young children; a photojournalist turned art therapist; and a German immigrant who once made headlines as a shrewd financial tycoon but now is quietly giving away millions.

Michael Halloran was just shy of 40 when his wife, Carolyn, died of a brain tumor. At their doctor's recommendation, she was cared for by Parmenter's visiting nurses in their Weston home until she died six years ago, at the age of 38.

"They reached out to me," Halloran said, adding that he was impressed that Parmenter offered help to his entire family.

He received a call from Deborah Marshall, the director of HEARTplay, a program for children experiencing the illness or loss of a loved one.

Marshall visited Halloran's home to meet with his daughters, then ages 5 and 7, and invited them to participate in HEARTplay, which uses art, music, games, and storytelling to help children come to terms with death. They are encouraged to recall joyful experiences to reinforce loving memories.

"The power of having a child come and sit in a circle and be with other children who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling is profound. They always think that they're the only one who has experienced tragedy," said Marshall, 54, who lives in Wayland.

She said the program succeeds in prompting children to reveal feelings they may be reluctant to express to family and friends.

"Often their stories sadden adults, who respond with tears or sympathy," she said.

Marshall, who has two children of her own, founded HEARTplay in 1995. She had previously worked as a photojournalist. One particular assignment helped spur her to change careers, she said. It was in Hamlen Woods, a conservation area in Wayland.

"The police were bringing out the body of a 6-year-old" who had been stabbed to death by his father, Marshall said. "I knew that there was something that I could do that could be more of a preventive educational contribution than taking pictures of body bags."

After interning at several hospices, she enrolled at Lesley University, from which she earned a master's in expressive therapies with a specialization in art in 1996.

These days, Halloran's daughters, now 11 and 13, sometimes assist Marshall in the HEARTplay programs.

"They're continuing their involvement, which is good for them, but they're also realizing that they're [helping] someone else who is going through" a loss, their father said.

For complete story visit http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/11/30/life_lessons/ .