100 Things About Me

100 Things About Me

Since it’s a new year, and I’ve been at this blog thing for six months or more, I thought I would bestow upon you all the ever-popular List. I think even I learned something from it.

1 – I am very close to six feet tall. I just round up.
2 – I like to wear shoes that emphasize my height.
3 – I don’t like to wear socks.
4 – Or underwear.
5 – If I could get away with it, without succumbing to gravity, I’d rather not wear a bra either.

6 – If you’ve inferred that I prefer to sleep nude, you are correct.
7 – I usually sleep on my left side.
8 – I have pierced ears, and that’s it.
9 – I have one tattoo. It’s a bird of paradise and it’s on my upper left arm.
10 – I ‘d like to get a dragon tattoo someday, because I love dragons, and also because Dragon is my Chinese astrological sign. Until last year, I thought I was a Snake.

11 – Yes, I’m a leftie.
12 – I can draw really well, but I don’t do it as often as I should… almost never, actually.
13 – I don’t write with my arm all screwed up like most lefties (including my dad).
14 – I’ve always wanted to be able to play an instrument, but aside from a short stint in junior high playing the flute, it’s not something I ever pursued with any seriousness.
15 – I can spell like nobody’s business.

16 – I have two pets – a 9-year old overweight tabby cat that came from a litter of strays at the farm, and a pretty 6-year old mutt that we picked up at the animal shelter.
17 – Love the pets; HATE the pet hair. Hate.
18 – I live about 200 yards away from a railroad.
19 – Often, I am a stone’s throw from a herd of cows. Front or back door.
20 – I grew up in this house and have spent most of my life in it…

21 – Except for just over three years that I spent on the east coast, one year in my parents’ new house down the road, and one year renting in town.
22 – I had Honour Roll marks all twelve years in school.
23 – I rarely, if ever, did any studying.
24 – I regret I didn’t try harder and do my absolute best.
25 – I prefer to watch educational TV.

26 – When I’m not in the mood for such dry programming, I’ll choose South Park, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, or The Daily Show.
27 – Or movies.
28 – I don’t watch sitcoms, as a general rule. It has to be pretty damn good if you catch me watching it.
29 – I’d listen to more music but my stereo doesn’t play CDs anymore – hasn’t for years, sadly. And my DVD player has the shittiest sound quality. I have to rely on my satellite’s music channels.
30 – I have come to enjoy plenty of children’s programming, including but not limited to Blue’s Clues, Peep and the Big Wide World, Sesame Street (which I have always loved), This Is Daniel Cook, Hi-5, Max and Ruby, and anything with the Kratt Brothers.

31 – I love to read. I’ll read absolutely anything, but as with TV I usually choose non-fiction.
32 – I wish I were tidier and more organized.
33 – And less of a procrastinator.
34 – I’m terrible when it comes to keeping in touch with people, but I have no problem picking up where we left off, as though no time has passed.
35 – I don’t do Christmas cards and I often forget birthdays.

36 – I’d much rather spend time talking with someone than buying them a card they’re probably going to throw away anyway.
37 – I keep every card I receive because I feel guilty if I throw them away.
38 – Receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable, usually.
39 – I don’t give gifts to anyone outside my immediate family unless etiquette dictates it, probably because of #38.
40 – I’d much rather give the gift of fresh-baked goods than anything else.

41 – I like to paint my finger- and toenails funky colours, such as those found on vehicles. My favourites are royal blue and chrome.
42 – I worry I am getting too old to pull it off anymore.
43 – My style is pretty conservative, so that helps. I try to go for classy, or perhaps classy with cleavage.
44 – Of course, I’m not terribly classy around the house, so I miss working for that reason, among others; I dress comfortably but not like a total slob.
45 – I have an intense weakness for cheese of all kinds, but those Kraft Singles are like crack. I have to abstain.

46 – And Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips with copious amounts of salsa... well.
47 – I don’t drink often, but when I do it’s either red-eyes, Caesars, tequila, or spiced rum.
48 – I smoke way more marijuana than I drink alcohol.
49 – Aside from one instance with mushrooms of the magic sort, I’ve never done any other drugs, nor had any desire to.
50 – I broke my nose on a sofa once when I was young and obliterated. I was drinking out of someone else’s bottle, at his urging, without knowing exactly what it was (which I don’t recommend, by the way). I think he was trying to incapacitate me enough to get me into the closet and cover me with hickeys again.

51 – My nose is the only bone in my body that I’ve ever broken.
52 – I’ve only been in the hospital four times – to get my tonsils out at 8; when I slipped and impaled my hand on a bill peg at work; for my breast reduction; and to have my baby.
53 – I play a mean game of pool.
54 – Also, cribbage.
55 – I can make small talk with anyone and enjoy meeting new people, although in social situations I tend to keep to myself around people I don’t know.

56 – My biggest beef with people is a lack of courtesy and respect for others, which, if you think about it, is at the root of every problem, really. It infuriates me, not just as a human being, but also as a veteran of the service industry.
57 – I love to flirt, despite that (or more likely because) I can’t follow through. Well, I could, but I don’t.
58 – Although monogamous, I tend to fixate on other men, but never more than one at a time. I suck as much life out of the crush as I can, and then I move on to another one. It could be a friend, or a co-worker, or less often, some obscure celebrity. I’m totally out of my Bruce Campbell phase now, but that one was on and off for years.
59 – I always thought I had a ‘type’, and I do notice the tall, slim, broad-shouldered, geeky guys a lot quicker, but this innate preference has never stopped me from making a determination of sexiness. I find myself attracted to the darnedest people.
60 – In other words, personality is way more important to me than looks. If you’re genuine and you can make me laugh, I’m yours.

61 – I still love flirting with the pretty boys, sure; but if that’s all there is to them, I move on.
62 – As you can see, sometimes I fantasize that I am single. Not because I wish to be, or anything - I love my husband, but I’m thinking I didn’t get to play around as much as perhaps I needed to.
63 – In my next life, I would choose to be more of a raging slut.
64 – Still, I’ve had thirteen sex partners in total, but only one in the last decade.
65 – I sometimes wonder what would have become of me if I had not found John so early. Thirteen is a pretty big number.

66 – I didn’t even start until I was sixteen, for crissakes.
67 – As it is, I’m always seducing people in my head. ‘Seducing’ could mean ‘delivering an impromptu anonymous blowjob on some guy’, for instance. Good thing there isn’t any more testosterone in my system or I would be out of fucking control.
68 – I haven’t been in every possible position or location, or done a whole lot of fetish or role-playing, but I’ve had my fair share of experiences.
69 – I’m willing to try anything at least once, except acts involving kids, animals, corpses, or anything that belongs in a toilet.
70 – Aside from the common sex-with-a-stranger scenario, and not just the consensual kind, I will also admit to having strap-on and three+some fantasies (both with either sex).

71 – I love to give blowjobs. It’s such a power trip.
72 – I’m sure I’m bisexual but I’ve never had the opportunity to truly test that theory.
73 – I’d much rather look at naked women than men, and I can’t wait to taste a pussy one day, but I really do worship cocks… so I’m just assuming.
74 – Is this all too much information? I tend to think so.
75 – I’ve got a clean driving record – no accidents, just one speeding ticket, and one seatbelt ticket (in my driveway, no less; the one time that I didn’t put it on for two blocks. That’ll learn me).

76 – I’ve been arrested before, but not charged with anything. Cuffs hurt.
77 – Oh yeah – another fantasy of mine is to seduce an on-duty cop right out of his uniform. No other uniforms need apply.
78 – I can dance but I only do it when I’m drunk.
79 – I can also sing, but not well enough to ever make a career out of it or anything.
80 – When it comes to memorizing song lyrics, though, my mind is as a steel trap.

81 – People always seem to think I should be a leader, but I’m really much more comfortable being led.
82 – I love to sleep but I typically only leave myself five or six hours a night, for whatever reason. I always find one.
83 – I’m naturally pretty physically flexible but it’s never something I have worked at.
84 – I love to play video games and I also kick ass at them. I’m a child of the Atari age, and I’ve never quit playing, I’ve just changed platforms.
85 – Everything I know about computers I’ve learned on my own. I’m no whiz, mind you; but I grew up using them, so I’ve accumulated a good working knowledge along the way, and I can fix most of my own problems.

86 – Don’t know a whit about programming, though.
87 – I own very little in the way of high-tech gadgetry – just my 200MHz desktop, my 700MHz laptop, and a video camera that also takes digital pictures. I don’t even have a working cell phone right now, and the one I would use is analog. John uses an obsolete bag phone in his truck.
88 – I have dialup, and no other option but, so I don’t download music or movies; and even if I did, I don’t have a burner of either sort.
89 – In any event, I would still purchase my entertainment rather than steal it, given the opportunity.
90 – I used to have penpals when I was young, and I kept in touch with people in Tennessee, Iowa, Germany, and Canada’s east coast, among others, not to mention the friends I had from Atlantic Canada who I kept in touch with for so many years.

91 – I have several shoeboxes packed full of all of the letters I’ve ever received.
92 – I’ve also kept some of the notes and notebooks my friends and I used to pass around in elementary and junior high school. They’re a riot.
93 – I’m a crack shot at long range with a rifle, it seems.
94 – I wore braces for four years as a teenager because I had the most crooked teeth I’ve ever seen.
95 – I’m missing two permanent teeth. They were pulled to make room for the rest of my oversized teeth.

96 – I have large eyes. When I say that, I mean my eyeballs are actually larger than your average eyeballs.
97 – My second toe is longer than my big toe. Actually, my toes are all freakishly long.
98 – I wear size 11 wide women’s shoes, if I can find them. I’m not above buying men’s shoes (size 9) if it means I’ll get footwear that fits.
99 – My baby boy falls into 50th percentile for everything except head circumference, in which he is 75th. From whom does he get his robust Charlie Brown skull?
100 – There’s nothing quite like wrapping up my list by making myself out to be an anomaly.

I intimidate people, apparently. I can’t for the life of me figure out why…