A Solitary Wife

Cheesy Pick Up Lines That Are Great For Attracting Women

2007-11-02T18:48:00.001-07:00

You're in a baseball club and you've spotted a driblet dead gorgeous miss on the other side of the room - what are you going to make about it?

For many men, their honorable reply would be "nothing". They pass the eventide rooted to the spot, pint in hand, staring through the crowds in the hopes that self-control alone will pull that hot biddy closer. I don't necessitate to state you that this attack is doomed to failure - if there's one manner to vouch that nil will travel on with a girl, it's to make absolutely nil to pull her.

No, if you desire a hot chick's name and number, the lone manner to acquire it is to go on over there and talking to her.

But what if you believe that that's easier said than done?

Approaching a adult female unprepared tin look like a terrific prospect. We cognize that we necessitate to look witty, smart and sexy if we're going to throw her attention, but we also cognize that our encephalons cannot be relied upon to show us in our best light. Faced with a gorgeous girl, addled with alcohol, and in the full cognition that all our friends are watching us, we having a sneaking intuition that we'll somehow happen ourselves telling her about snails or the terms of bin bags.

This is where corny choice up lines come up in. Armed with a great 1 liner, we can travel over to that miss safe in the cognition that the first thing to come up out of our oral cavity will be amusing.

But make choice up lines really work? After all, misses look to pass so much clip complaining about the awful lines which work force have got attempted to utilize on them, it's enough to give any cat doubts. Are our favourite 1 line drives really so cocky, ready-made or downright tacky that we haven't a hope of success?

Not necessarily. Pick up lines can be a powerful tool, but you have got got got to larn to utilize them well.

Start by avoiding any lines which have been around longer than you have. "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you throw it against me?" might have got worked in your grandfather's day, but modern biddies associate it with 1970s sit-coms. Likewise, any line which affects angels or phoning her mother.

Steer clear of saying anything which affects too much theatrical production or too many props. It might look witty to intentionally slop a drink, crushed leather the water water ice blocks underfoot, then remark, "Now that the ice is broken, how about it?", but it's a waste material of a good drink and it isn't going to harvest you any rewards. If your choice up line is too Byzantine or too well rehearsed, the miss will presume that you seek it with every biddy in a short adequate skirt, and will quickly hit you down.

Finally, don't vacation spot to lines which are rough or offensive. Even if all you're after is a 1 nighttime wonder, gags about genitalia will set her right off.

Instead, maintain your choice up lines brief, flattering and convincingly original.

But make bear in head that biddies these years cognize exactly what you're up to. A corny choice up line might acquire her laughing, but the existent magic is in how you state it.

Be self-deprecating. Try delivering your line, then grinning and riant at yourself, telling her, "I'm sorry, I cognize that's really awful - I just wanted an alibi to come up and talking to you." This attack is funny, it's friendly and it's extremely flattering - it short, it clicks all her boxes.

Dating Disasters and Relationship Mistakes - Never Date a Married Man or Woman

2007-09-25T11:08:00.001-07:00

We all privation a great relationship. It is fantastic to day of the month and link with that particular person and have got trips fly. But at what costs?

Studies show that most grownup males are married. That agency they are not available! The statistics are almost as stopping point for women. Are if wise to go involved with a married person? I strongly counsel against it. Any married individual seeking to acquire involved with you is just leading you down a way for heartbreak. These people are not available.

In fact, they are unavailable emotionally, financially and socially. It is a no win situation. They have got made an emotional and legal committedness to person else.

Why make some women day of the month married men? Two large grounds come up to mind. First, they believe the prevarications of a married man. The 2nd is that he may look easy to you. You don't desire a committedness so you take a individual to crack with that is not able to commit. It works out for you, or so you think. You believe you acquire to have got the "plus" facets of a human relationship without being tied down. You should cognize that there is a large downside to this sort of relationship. In either state of affairs that married individual can only give you his leftovers. There volition be many days of the month you do that will be cancelled at the last minute. The married individual will state their matrimony is on the stones but that is often a lie. So when he suddenly have to go, you are actually seeing his committedness in action. You may not like what is in presence of you, but it is there nonetheless. And let's not travel forth out how often you will have got to settle down because there will be certain topographic points you are not able to go together for fearfulness of them being seen with you.

If you come in into an affair, you are going to go almost unseeable as a date. You are not free to happen another spouse who is free to day of the month you openly, and yet you are not visibly attached to anyone. Every clip you and your matter spouse travel out, you put on the line the possibility of their spouse determination out and so your married day of the month may take some very indeterminate topographic points to eat – supposing they ever make bold to be seen with you at all in public! Now that is a good manner to take down your self-esteem!

Let's say you just go on to see your matter spouse at a restaurant, or a party. Are you really prepared to see him with his married woman on his arm? Bash you really desire the hurting of looking at his existent commitment? You will also necessitate to be prepared to move as if you don't cognize this married adult male very well and be careful not to state anything that would connote differently.

These are just a few of the many things you must see when you take to day of the month a married person. It is almost always the main road to pain, wretchedness and suffering. Avoid it at all costs.

What Women Want In Bed - Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy!

2007-09-24T07:35:00.001-07:00

Having familiarity is something that a couple necessitates to appreciate. Having this particular clip together is something that is going to intend a batch to both people. It is going to be something that volition do a human relationship more particular and make a better chemical bond between two people that share a love for one another.

God gave us all the gift of sexual intimacy. We all demand to larn how to utilize it the right way. Knowing what the other individual desires in bed is something that is always good to cognize so that you can make each other happy and comfy when it come ups to having a sexual human relationship together.

You may desire to take a few tips down before you even seek to calculate out what they want.

1) What do women desire in bed?

It is not always easy to understand what your adult female wants. This is going to be true for what she desires in bed too. You will have got to seek to calculate this out on your ain or you can speak to her and seek to happen a good manner to speak to her about it.

This may not be the option that most work force choose. Most work force out there make not desire to sit down down and discourse gender with their woman. It may look like a subject that is just not accessible for some. However in order to acquire through this clip with her, you have got got to be able to sit down down and actually discourse what is going on and what do you both happy.

Talk to her and see if she will state you what she really desires out of the sexual human relationship that you have together. Find out what she is feeling and what she necessitates to have got to do her experience good.

You can always take this clip to explicate to her what you desire and what do you feel satisfied in bed too. You can both ran into each other's necessitates and do your sexual experiences even better.

2) Play your function in bed

Most women desire the adult male to take the lead. They desire to feel as if they are being swept off their feet. Woman desires a adult male to handle her similar gold and give her the satisfaction that she wants. The same volition travel for a man. Brand her experience special.

You may desire to love affair her with some rose flower petals or some tapers around the bed. Brand her experience like she is deserving the other clip that you have got set into this particular minute together.

You can also seek purchasing her some lingerie or sweet smelling perfume. Brand her desire to be with you and experience good. She will probably appreciate the fact that you took the clip to shop for her and acquire her something to do her feel as particular as she is. You will defiantly acquire paid back for this because she will be more than wiling to take part in the sexual bosom minute that you have got make just for the two of you.

It is never too late to seek to happen out what your adult female desires in bed. It do no difference if you have got got been married for old age or if you have just started to date. You necessitate to happen out what delights her in bed. This volition aid you better understand what they desire and demand from you. It will do the human relationship better and give you both the chance to be pleased in bed and having a good clip together.

God meant for work force and women to have got a particular chemical bond together and there is nil incorrect with having this familiarity just as you both privation it. You necessitate to pass clip together and figure out a manner to acquire to this point in your human relationship so that you can share in the particular love that you both have got for each other.

3) Talk to each other

The best thing that you can make when it come ups to having sexual familiarity is to speak to each other. This tin go on before or after the existent social intercourse takes place. You should speak to her and give her the emotional support that she necessitates to hear.

Every adult female desires to experience like they are particular and that they have got the eternal love of their companion.

They desire to experience like a adult female and to be touched in a manner that brands them experience good. It is going to be well deserving the other attempt because you are going to have got the ability to make a particular sexual chemical bond with her interior and outside the sleeping room as well.

"Online Dating Tips" for Success

2007-09-06T12:40:00.001-07:00

Here are some Great Tips for "online dating":

1. Put your best human face forward - supply a good photograph, do certain not pets, children etc... in the photo, rent a photographer is best. Research have shown that profiles with photographs acquire viewed 20 modern times more than profiles without photos. The best thing you can make is have got a great exposure of yourself. Why wouldn't you desire to set your best human face forward?

2. Be Honest - Honesty sells in volumes, when using email, "free chat", "free blogs" etc... just be honest, some may run away while others run closer to you. It's easier to be honorable and state the truth versus trying to maintain path of the lies, sooner or later, those prevarications will catch up with you.

3. Reappraisal by a 3rd political party - always acquire a few sentiments from your mark audience about your profile (male or female have got them reexamine and supply feedback). it's important to have got others position what you've written. Since you are not the best individual to execute quality control on yourself.

4. Sell yourself with a good profile - Actions talk louder than words, compose your profile with a target, if you're funny don't state you are, compose your profile with comedic overtones.

5. Keep it simple and non personal - Don't be so speedy to share your personal information and history, just feign you're on a first date, because you are. Bash you retrieve when you were immature and you were just exploring each other? You kept so many things to yourself because you didn't desire to frighten the "potential mate"away... Things haven't changed, so why spill the edible beans on the first encounter?

Top 10 Ways To Boost Your Sexual Confidence With Women

2007-08-22T10:05:00.001-07:00

Hey guys. Bash you ever inquire how the seduction cats make it? How make they have got such as Incredible Assurance With Women when some of them are just down correct ugly and fat?

Confidence have small to nil to make with looks. Assurance come ups from the inside. Our readers are always making remarks like, "You state to have got confidence, but that's not so easy for me. How exactly make I acquire this assurance that you talk of?"

Once you cognize the secret, you'll inquire why you didn't calculate it out on your own…

Our definition of assurance is simply "not protective what others believe about you". Only YOU can find what's compensate for you - your looks, your style, your personality… When you halt letting other people justice you by their personal standards, you will have got true internal confidence.

Here are some great tips from Saint David DeAngleo at www.DoubleYourDating.com

Top 10: Way To Hike Sexual Confidence

Most cats deficiency assurance in their ability to physically turn on a adult female and "rock her world" when it come ups clip to hit the sheets. A adult female cognizes right away if she's dealing with one of these "boy-men" and runs for the hills as soon as she recognizes it. If you desire to do certain she sees you as a Sexually Confident sort of cat — the sort of cat who can light throbbing sexual passionatenesses deep interior her — you demand to go a maestro at giving women an unbelievable sexual experience. Here are 10 powerful tips to acquire you started.

Number 10 - Uncover the beginning of Sexual Confidence

Sexual Assurance come ups as a consequence of knowing how to give a adult female mind-blowing pleasure. It's the assurance that the adult female you're with volition have got a once-in-a-lifetime experience with you. It's knowing all the stairway — from the first oculus contact all the manner to the "end game" — and knowing how to construct anticipation at every measure along the way. Start by practicing my "two stairway forward, one measure back" technique by escalating things, then backing off, then escalating further, then backing off again. The expectancy and rousing this makes will drive her INSANE. Don't state I didn't warn you. Number 9 - Get out of the use mindset

Guys are always funny about how to "trick" a miss into bed — what the magic words are, etc. Iodine personally cognize a few cats who make this… and I can state you it makes NOT Pb to fulfillment. Avoid this whole "manipulation mindset," and halt trying to calculate out what the magic slugs are to acquire a adult female to make what you desire in a dishonest way. It's much better to work on becoming an interesting cat who cognizes what to make to construct attractive force in a natural, non-manipulative way. If what you're doing experiences incorrect or unethical, halt it. There are better ways to acquire what you want.

Number 8 - Stop idealizing beautiful women

Most cats acquire fooled into believing that just because a adult female is unusually attractive, she's also usually honorable and would never see taking from you, cheating on you or lying to you. The world is that people are never 100% "good" or 100% "bad." There are states of affairs where ANY individual would lie, cheat, steal, or be disloyal. When you accept the world that people are people, a beautiful adult female is still human, and that the adult female you experience strongly for is just as likely to be dishonest or unpatriotic as any other, you'll take her off that base you set her on. And that's Associate in Nursing of import measure toward achieving Sexual Confidence.

How of import are expressions when it come ups to being confident in bed?

Number 7 - Looks don't substance when it come ups to Sexual Confidence

Nothing about how you look, how old you are, how tall you are, how much you weigh, how much money you make, or whether or not you're her type have anything to do with how you can make a adult female feel once you're in bed with her. A cardinal to retrieve is that AFTER a adult female have experienced a mind-blowing bosom experience with you, that experience alone will render all of that other material irrelevant. It just won't matter. Picture yourself in this hereafter ahead of clip and it'll assist do it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Number 6 - Delay your gratification

Delaying satisfaction goes more than than profound the more you believe about it — and when it come ups to sex, it's absolutely critical. It not only lets you to construct the sexual latent hostility and do her privation you more than than and more, but the mocking and expectancy enactment as amplifiers to HER arousal. Bottom line: You are more than than likely to turn her on — and more likely to take things to a physical degree — if you're chill and calm. Lose your demand for instantaneous results, and you'll drive her CRAZY.

Number 5 - Act like sexual activity is normal

A batch of cats acquire nervous when it come ups clip to have got sex; they believe they necessitate to begin acting differently when it's clock to "do the deed." But sexual activity is normal, so maintain acting normal as things heat energy up. Don't do a large trade out of it; maintain having fun; maintain teasing; maintain acting light. Smoothly, confidently, comfortably advancement from one measure to the next, all the piece enjoying yourself and acting like all is normal — because it is.

Number 4 - Put sexual activity into perspective

Instead of placement sexual activity as the ultimate end and the centre of your purpose, move it so it's simply one of your many goals. Brand it a natural result if you like a adult female and if you take to pass the clip and attempt to acquire to that point. Take the "pinnacle value" out of sex, set it in perspective, and your relaxed mental attitude will do you much more than likely to acquire it.

Number 3 - Tame the fearfulness of rejection

As you advancement from one measure to the adjacent with a adult female — from a insouciant day of the month to touching, kissing and beyond — the bet acquire larger and bigger. Work Force typically experience more than than discerning as they advancement from one measure to the next, and experience less confident moving to the adjacent measure as things acquire more intense. The fearfulness is not of being rejected or stopped, but of losing all the land that have been gained, and going back to ZERO. Fortunately, the more than than involved you get, the more likely it is you'll succeed. The adjacent measure affects less risk, and it do the sexual enactment more likely. Remember this.

Number 2 - Interpret her actions

If she halts you, it usually doesn't intend that she desires you to halt FOREVER; it intends that you didn't acquire her turned on enough. Interpret it as "I'm not ready yet," rather than "Go away, I don't like you anymore." Stop, thin back, talking casually for a piece and just relax. Then acquire her even MORE turned on than before. Feel free to do her ASK you for sex… Oregon even beg. "Please" is a great word — Teach her to utilize it, and she'll love you for it.

Number 1 - Get in touching with the animate being inside

A adult female desires a adult male who's in touching with his interior ANIMAL. If he's overly logical, overly analytical, overly controlled, overly educated, it demoes a adult female that he cannot allow the animate being out. At an natural level, a adult female cognizes that this agency she won't be able to feel anything strong toward him, and she cognizes he won't be able to elicit any sexual feelings inside of her. Study, acquire to know, do friends with, and DEVELOP the animate being inside you. Educating yourself in this country is one of the most of import things you can make to take your Sexual Assurance to the adjacent level.

How You Can Stand Out From Other Guys

2007-06-03T08:13:00.001-07:00

Your attitude has a direct effect on your success with women. The difference between going home alone or with a beautiful woman depends on how you present yourself.

The problem is many guys have MAJOR problems with women because they're projecting the wrong kind of attitude. In essence, they're allowing their neediness to be obvious.

Now if you know anything about the laws of attraction, then you "get" what women REALLY want from men. The majority of them are interested in guys who can establish a high level of status and act in a confident manner. When you act in a needy manner, you're basically giving off a desperate appearance.

This lead us to point of this tip...

In order to attract women, you have to learn how to project a "I don't care about the outcome" personality. Although this seems to go against common sense, women are wildly attracted to guys who don't seem to care about *scoring* or succeeding with women.

If you can project an aloof attitude around women, you'll stand out from other guys. That's because you won't be showing a personality which is consumed with constantly trying to have sex with women. Instead you'll appear like a guy who is simply enjoying a conversation and just having fun.

Furthermore by cultivating this attitude, you'll find it'll be much easier to handle rejection. Since rejection is ALWAYS part of the singles scene, you'll be able to deal with it, learn from your mistakes and then move on.

So if you learn to cultivate a 'I don't care attitude' you'll increase your success with women.

5 Types of Guys Who Always Seduce Women

2007-05-31T09:20:00.001-07:00

What type of guy are you?

Sounds like a trick question, right? Well the reason I ask this question is because there are certain "types" of guys which women absolutely LOVE. If you can fit into one of these categories, you'll discover that it'll require very little effort to attract a woman.

Now have no fear! If you do NOT fit into any of the following "types" of guys, there is still you can use a woman's attraction to your benefit. But, before we get to how to do that, let's cover the 5 core categories of men which trigger instant attraction in a woman:

The Professor

Men with intelligence can be very sexual to many women. Simply behaving in an authoritative manner, you can make women insane with passion.

Of course, intelligence is the most evident in the "The Professor" archetype . To many women, he seems like a guy who is more mature then other men. His wide variety of knowledge makes women feel comfortable in his presence.

The Cop or Fireman

If you ever paid attention to women when their around firemen or police officers then you know many of them are instantly attracted to these type of guys. In fact, there are some women who turn into "sexual animals" whenever they have a chance to engage a cop or fireman in a conversation.

A lot of these tendencies have to do with these professions have a reputation for taking risks and saving the lives of others. Plus their uniform seems to attract women.

The Musician

Music has a direct link to people's emotions. That's why women can be easily seduced whenever their around "The Musician".

To a lot of girls, a musician is more in tune with his emotions then other guys. In their heads, they think this guy can be a source of sensual lovemaking. Plus a woman might envision this guy writing a "special" song for her.

The Cook

Food is considered one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs known to man. By being able to whip a few fantastic meals, "The Cook" is a great person for attracting women.

When a man knows his way around a kitchen, he is showing positive qualities like creativity and a provider of pleasure. Both of these characteristics are highly attractive to many different women.

The Dangerous Guy

Women are intoxicated by a guy who can live his life on the edge and is not afraid to do his own thing. That's why "The Dangerous Guy" is one of the most seductive personality traits to women.

This guy cares little for what others think. Instead he is not afraid to take risks in life. When around a man like this, women envision themselves going on exciting adventures and being pulled away from their boring lives.

Now after reading about these 5 types of guys you probably wonder what you can do if you DON'T fit into any of these categories. Well, it's simple…

You can take action in your own life to display some of the core traits behind these personality types. For instance, you can become "The Professor" by volunteering to teach a community class in a subject you know.

Or you can become "The Musician" by picking up an instrument and learn how to play it.

And finally, you can become "The Dangerous Guy" by learning how to display alpha male characteristics whenever you're around women.

So if you're having with attracting beautiful women in your life, try to cultivate one of these personality traits. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can become more seductive around women.

If You Want To Have Sex - Always Have These Items

2007-05-25T11:50:00.001-07:00

When a woman is in your home, you've taken that first step towards having sex with her. All you have to do is create the right kind of seductive atmosphere and you'll be on your way to closing the deal.

The problem is many guys don't know how to properly set up their home for seduction. In fact, these guys put little thought into how to decorate their home and why specific items create the right kind of environment.

The truth is there are certain items (or props) which can make or break any potential sexual encounter. By taking the time to set up properly set up your home, you'll eliminate many of the obstacles which hurt your chances of seducing a woman.

What I'm talking about is having certain items which make you seem childish or immature. For instance, the main character in the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin" lives in an apartment filled with action figures and toys. If you're home is like this then you're NOT creating a seductive atmosphere.

So your first step is to hide or eliminate any childish items which can turn off a woman.

Then once you've done that you can move on to second phase which involves populating your home with specific items which enhance the mood for seduction.

By "casually" placing certain things throughout your home, you'll create topics of conversation. This will help to move things towards seduction. Having props in your home will make you seem more interesting and attractive then the guy who fills his home with the latest Harry Potter action figure.

So if you want to show a sensual side of you, try including these props throughout your home:

• Sensual and provocative books

• Massage oil

• A musical instrument (If you can play)

• Handcuffs (Shows a kinky sexual side)

• Candles

• Though provoking artwork and paintings

When you place certain items throughout your home, you'll create the image that you're a sexual person with taste. Then when you're entertaining a woman, you can use them to help transition into an intimate encounter.

5 Tips on How to Flirt with Women

2007-05-23T16:50:00.001-07:00

It's a simple reality that most guys don't know how to flirt with women. While they think having a conversation with a woman is flirting, they're far from the truth.

What a lot of men don't know is how flirting involves a different level of communication from the standard conversation. In addition to talking to a woman, you have to demonstrate sexuality and physical attraction. If you can show her an attractive personality, then you'll be on your way to creating instant rapport. And that's where flirting comes in!

Now if you're not sure how to flirt with women, then pay close attention. In this article, you'll learn about 5 easy ways you can flirt with a woman.

Tip #1- Understand flirting

As I said before, many guys have a misconception about the nature of flirting. Flirting is simply about creating sexual tension with a woman. The goal is to joke around with a woman and play fight with her.

Now if you want to create instant attraction, you should start flirting the moment you meet a woman. That way, you'll create positive sexual tension with her.

Tip #2- Be cocky & funny

A great way to flirt with a woman is to use the cocky/funny technique. The idea behind this attitude is to cultivate a higher status personality which makes women work hard for your attention.

In order to be cocky/funny, you should tease her and focus on getting her to laugh. Just remember that cocky/funny is about having a balance of a confident personality with saying funny things. It's not about acting like a clown or being too arrogant.

Tip #3- Bring sexual tension into the conversation

When you're flirting with a woman, you want her to think of you in a sexual way. That's why it's important to bring up sex into the conversation.

Now when I'm talking about sex, I don't mean you should tell her that you want to have sex with her. Instead you should mention different stories about your friends and some of their funny, yet sexual stories.

Also a great technique is to joke that you're going to marry her. Then go back and forth about what you'll do when you're married. Then when she does something wrong, tell her that "it's over" and you're getting a divorce. Just remember to have fun and joke around with your interaction.

Tip #4- Touch her

Establishing physical contact is a great way to flirt with a woman. If you can break the touch barrier you'll take that first step towards creating physical chemistry.

To touch her, concentrate on the conversation and see if you can detect certain moments when a woman is giving you positive vibes. Then touch her when you want to make a point.

Tip #5- Talk about future adventures

Women want excitement in their lives. That's why it's important to talk about how you're an exciting guy. Now you shouldn't start bragging about how you're a fun guy. Instead you should steer the conversation towards how you bring her on adventures with you.

When you use the "future adventures" technique, you talk and joke about all the fun stuff that you do for her. Just remember to keep it fun and lighthearted. By doing it this way, you're projecting an interesting lifestyle without being too lower status.

Knowing how to flirt with women is a skill that all guys should learn. If you can creating a flirting atmosphere immediately, then you'll be on your way to creating instant attraction. Simply follow the 5 tips I discussed in this article, and you'll be on your way to winning over every women you meet.

Christian Sex - 7 Barriers to Fulfilling Married Sexuality

2007-05-22T13:44:00.001-07:00

Many Christian married couples have yet to experience a fulfilling sexuality. Yet, it is an essential ingredient for a vital Christian marriage. Here are 7 barriers to a fun and fulfilling lovemaking for Christian married couples

1. Not knowing what God says about sex

The first commandment God gave was to engage in sex (Genesis 1: 27-28.) God had just created humanity in His image, commanded them to be "fruitful and multiply", and then commented "it was good" (Genesis 1:31.) Somehow, it seems like this was a priority for Adam and Eve.

2. Talking very little with your spouse about sexuality or your preferences.

When couples can share with their spouse about sexuality or their sexual preferences, intimacy is created. An emotional bond results from the intimate level of vulnerability on a conversational level. A great place to start talking about sex is to share what lovemaking means to you emotionally, how frequent you would like to have sex, and even times of the day or specific days.

3. Engaging out of obligation, rather than enjoyment

Many believe sex was solely intended for procreation, rather than recreation. To the contrary, the poetic references in the Song of Solomon describe lovemaking that is enjoyable and anticipated. Feel free to have some fun with sex with different positions and places. However, all must be with respect for your spouse's considerations. I Corinthians 1:4 states that our bodies belong to our mates, not just us. It is written from a spirit of equality, where both spouses are to serve one another, rather than one controlling the other. For one spouse to force the other into sexual behaviors without consent is abusive.

4 Failure to plan

Many couples, Christians especially, are sexually frustrated. While some of this may be attributed to different sexual appetites, much more is a result of infrequency. Sex is never convenient, but is critical to a vital relationship. Plan for sex like you would any other appointment. Rather than thinking of this as stale, consider that it allows you and your spouse time to plan for the special time together. Planning also alleviates any concerns for sexual deprivation and sexual pressure.

5. Using sex as a reward or punishment

Sex is often used as a reward for some positive behavior. Or it can be withheld when one spouse is angry with the other. Couples sabotage themselves when their sex life becomes a bartering system. Because of its vulnerability, lovemaking must be unconditional to be meaningful. Find other ways to thank your spouse, and healthy ways to overcome your resentments.

6. Unresolved sexual abuse issues

Sexual abuse issues follow spouses into marriage. Victims of sexual abuse may have an aversion to lovemaking, or experience painful reminders of the past. For some, there may be a distortion of healthy sexuality. If you have been wounded from sexual abuse, realize that you did nothing to deserve this. Furthermore, there is hope. I encourage you to find a counselor that specializes in this area, and begin the road to recovery. It is one thing to survive sexual abuse, and another to overcome it.

7. Pornography

The most significant destructive force to a healthy sex life is pornography. And yes, I am talking about Christian marriages. Images are burned into a person's mind, thereby creating an insatiable thirst for more erotic behavior, or harmful behaviors. Some couples have stated the use of pornography enhances their sex life. I disagree. Not only is it degrading, but it fosters empty relationships by focusing on the physical rather than love. If your marriage has been affected by pornography, find a qualified counselor to help you rebuild the intimacy in your marriage.

In my experience as a Christian counselor, a lot of confusion exists amongst married couples regarding a healthy Christian sex life. The reality is that God has given sex as a gift for married couples to embrace rather than tolerate, or misuse. So much of today's culture promotes a contaminated view of sex. As Christians, let's change our culture by strengthening our marriages with a healthy Christian sexuality

4 Sizzling Ways to Master the Art of Seduction

2007-05-21T08:18:00.001-07:00

Guys have a variety of goals when it comes to dating. Some want to find a serious relationship while others want to causal date. Regardless of your ultimate goal, if you are anything like me, one goal you place high on your wish list is to end up in the bedroom.

Truth be told, it will remain on your wish list unless you take action. If you are a man who knows how to seduce women, stop reading this article and go out and practice. For every other man, read on because you need to know how to seduce a woman if making it into the bedroom is one of your goals.

The good news is that I have provided some tips below to learn the art of seduction and apply the skills all the way to her bedroom.

Improve Yourself

Do I even need to remind you that the art of seduction is not a natural trait of most men?

My guess is that this unfortunate truth goes without saying. Learn to seduce women actually takes a lot of practice.

It is not about reading a book and jotting down a few notes. It takes time, effort and practice. The best way master this art is to simply go out and meet women. Don't try this your way and practice in the mirror until you think you have perfected your routine.

Every time you have the opportunity to meet a woman is an opportunity to fine-tune your seduction skills. Gradually, your seduction skills will feel natural as if they have always been there. Just the act of going out and meeting women is not sufficient, though. You need to approach it as a time to improve yourself and figure out what works and what does not work.

Have a Plan

Or, maybe I should title this section as "Be Prepared" since the better prepared you are, the better chance you will have of success. You must have a plan of action. You must develop a seduction strategy, but do not procrastinate on implementing your plan.

Most men mistakenly think that seduction begins once you have become physically intimate, but this is not the case. You must create a seduction plan that begins with your initial conversation and does not end until you finally have sex.

Plan out such things as where to go for your date, how to best seduce her with conversation, how to transition from the conversation to kissing and then to the bedroom. No, you are not finished seducing. From this point, you must plan how you will make that first move to transition into foreplay and then all the way to sex.

As you see, seduction is a step-by-step process which is most effective when you are prepared for each step and their respective transition.

Slow down

Just because you are "in the mood" does not mean she is yet. Do not make the all too common mistake of rushing into things too quickly. This puts too much pressure on her and can backfire in the end. It can also be a turn-off to many women.

So, to become artfully skilled in seducing women, you must learn to have patience. Focus on creating a sensual mood, talking to her seductively and when the time is right initiating foreplay. Just enjoy the experience.

If it appears that you genuinely enjoy being with her, your chance for success seducing her will increase as she will become more trusting and willing to get into the moment.

Deal with Rejection the Right Way

There will be times when you feel you carried out your plan yet experience rejection. At these times, it is important to handle rejection in a positive way and not angry or frustrated as this will turn her off even more. But, it may not even be about you. Maybe she is sincerely not ready to take things to a sexual point, or maybe she is just not in the mood to have sex. If this is the case, though, and you respond negatively she will be less interested in a "next time."

Be patient, react positively and keep the door open for the future. Don't let a small delay ruin the plan. Just use this time to further seduce her, even if you find that you have to move back a step to conversation. I suppose you should have a Plan B for times like this. Remember, be prepared!

It is my general philosophy that you will have less sex if you keep sex in the forefront of your mind when talking to a woman. Rather, you will probably have more sex if you act as if you really do not care either way.

The most important thing, though, in learning how to be a great seducer is to create a plan and practice. Fine-tune your skills to become the ultimate man of seduction.

The Hershey Kiss Pick Up Technique

2007-05-20T07:08:00.001-07:00

Here's a great tip that I found on another website. In a brief article, the author described a great pick-up technique which virtually guarantees you won't be turned down.

It works like this...

First you go to a grocery store and purchase a bag of Hershey Kisses. Make sure you buy two different types of bags. Ie: Chocolate, swirl, almond, etc. Then make sure you carry these Hershey Kisses with you everywhere you go. (Obviously replacing the ones that melt)

Then when you spot an attractive woman, you walk up to her with one Hershey Kiss in each of your hand. Approach her with a big confident smile and tell her "When I see a beautiful woman, I always have to give her a kiss..." Then hold out both of your hands and say "Which do you prefer, chocolate or swirl?"

While it's a bit of goofy way to approach somebody, you'll probably get her to smile and laugh. It's also provides a low pressure way to start talking without resorting to corny pick up lines which NEVER work on women.

Normally I don't recommend any pick-up technique which is cheesy or lower status. But this one seems to actually be pretty effective. You just have to have a good opener to follow once you use this approach technique.

Also it's definitely unique and some women will find it pretty cute. The key to doing this is to target a woman who doesn't look too preoccupied and looks like she wants to be approached.

So if you're having trouble with approaching women, try using the "Hershey Kiss" pick up technique.

5 Steps on How to Get Your Girlfriend Back

2007-05-18T16:14:00.001-07:00

Breaking up with a woman is a hard thing for many guys to handle. While you want to move on, you probably still have strong feelings for this one particular woman.

Now if you're constantly thinking of your ex-girlfriend, then pay close attention. In this article, I'll reveal my proven step-by-step system to help you get your girlfriend back.

So if you're secretly pining for a lost love, then try to implement this technique into your life:

Step 1- Analyze what went wrong

Now the important thing to do before you try to get your girlfriend back is to take some time and think about what went wrong. For instance you should ask yourself:

• Is there another guy?

• Does she no longer like you in a romantic way?

• Has there been a dramatic change in her life?

• Are you doing certain things which drive her crazy?

The reason why you ask these questions is to determine if things are fixable between you and your ex-girlfriend. If she's with another guy or was harsh about the break-up, then you probably have LITTLE chance of getting her back.

So before you implement this system, you should first find out if you have a chance of succeeding.

Step 2- Change yourself

Once you've analyzed what went wrong, you need to make changes to your life. The main reason guys get dumped is due to a lack of attraction. So if you want to get her back, you must make subtle changes to yourself which demonstrates attractive qualities.

Now the reason women want to date other guys is these men provide excitement in their lives. Without even knowing it, you probably developed a pattern of wussiness with your ex-girlfriend.

In order to become an attractive to your ex-girlfriend, you need to develop attractive personalities. This includes manly characteristics like confidence, initiative, an interesting personality and determination. If you're able to show these core character traits, then you'll have the attractive personality which ALL women want.

Step 3- Start dating other women

It might seem counterintuitive, but dating other women is a great way to get a girlfriend back. Now it's hard to explain, but women have a crazy logic. They are highly attracted to guys who are "preselected" by other women. By dating other women, you'll be able to trigger her jealous reactions.

Step 4- Become friends with her

Now that you've made changes to yourself and started to date other women, you should contact your ex-girlfriend. When you talk to her, try hard to get her hang out with "as friends". This means grabbing coffee, catching a bit to eat or playing a quick game of pool.

Once you're on this date, just act completely casual. In other words, don't try to convince her to get back with you. Instead just show confidence and amp up your role as a friend. Then every so often make an allusion to one of the women you're dating. Don't be overt about it, but non-chalantly mention that you're actively dating other women.

Step 5- Proceed with normal attraction techniques

Since you're now talking to your ex-girlfriend, you have an opportunity to demonstrate positive qualities. Instead of trying to rekindle things with her, I recommend that you show exactly how much fun you can provide her.

So it's important that you treat her like you would with other girls. This means that you follow the basic attraction and seduction techniques which I recommend.

For instance, you should be cocky/funny, show confidence and act like you don't care about the outcome of your interactions. If you do your job correctly, she'll start to realize that she's missing out on a golden opportunity. Once this happens, she'll start to pursue you!

Being able to get a girlfriend back is hard for many guys to accomplish. But if you're smart enough follow these 5 simple steps, you'll dramatically increase your chances of getting her back into your life.

5 Surefire Rules For Dating Multiple Women

2007-05-16T16:45:00.001-07:00

For many guys, dating multiple women seems like a dream come true!

At first it seems like it's lots of fun hanging out with different girls and having a guaranteed supply of sex. Each night you can pick and choose who you want to see.

Bu there is a dark side to dating multiple women…

If you're not careful, it can destroy your life.

When you're dating different women, you're multiplying your risk of something going completely wrong. That's why it's important to know the right way to juggle your dating partners.

So take a look at these 5 rules which can help you prevent a major catastrophe:

1- Be truthful

The first rule for dating multiple women is going to be the hardest. It's simple…

All you have to do is be honest that you're dating multiple women.

Have you ever heard the famous expression: "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned"? Well the reason I mention this statement it to make you realize that dating multiple women can cause a LOT of problems in your life. If you're lying to women and not telling them that you're dating other girls, then bad things will happen if you're caught.

My advice is to be honest to every woman you're dating. Just explain that you're not ready to settle down and you like to go out with other girls. While some girls won't want date you, they'll at least respect your candid nature.

2- Be in control

Dating multiple women involves a bit of work and effort. When you're out with a different girl every night, you have to make sure you're a master juggler. Now in order to avoid dropping any balls and messing things up, you have to be in complete control of your dating life.

For instance, you should be the one to set up the dates, control where you go and decide when to talk. The reason why you want to control the situation is so you can "pencil in" each girl without being obvious about your dating habits.

3- Set standards

It's a weird psychology, but women are attracted to men who are pre selected by other girls. If you're able to demonstrate that you're a selector instead of the selectee, women will treat you differently from other guys.

So to demonstrate a strong personality you must set a strict code standards in your life and let women know about them. Then if a girl you're dating breaks a rule, you let her know that you won't tolerate her actions. If she's a repeat offender, then you ditch her.

Dating multiple women is about having the freedom to walk away from toxic women who can destroy your life. So set some standards and force women to follow them.

4- Show them respect

Now dating multiple women isn't always about what you want. There are a lot of women who don't mind dating "a player", but they don't appreciated being disrespected.

So no matter what, treat ALL women well and don't make them feel like they're being used. You can do this simply by calling them back, treating them like gold on your date and ensure that each has a chance to go out with you on important nights (Friday & Saturday).

5- Know how to find new girls

Now typically when you've dated multiple women for awhile, you'll have some who transition out of your life. It's a simple truth that some women want to be in a committed relationship or need more from a guy. So be prepared to stop dating some women.

My advice is to remain friendly to the women you've dated. You never know when things might change and you want her back in your life. In addition, she might have cute friends.

Now in addition to being friendly to past girls you've dated, it's also important to find new women to go out with. So always keep your eyes out for new women!

Dating multiple women requires a high level of multi-tasking. If you don't know how to date multiple women, then bad things can happen to you.

All you have to do is follow these 5 rules and you'll find that it's easy to date multiple women. Then you should be able to avoid the complications which can happen.

Online Singles Dating - The Top Tips On How To Find Success Online

2007-05-14T12:46:00.001-07:00

You may think millions of people do Online Singles Dating that true. But how many are successful and how many continue to try, and how many are permanently put off by dating scams? I guess you have to ask your self these questions. It is not all easy riding there are certainly many pitfalls and problems you'll find along the way. When you are inexperienced you will not see them coming, this may result in an unhappy experience.
You see I can write about these problems from an experience point of view, having been there and done it.

Firstly if you don't take advice by not reading the right articles you may have to learn the hard way. I don't want to be alarmist but there are many hurdles that you will face and it is best to avoid them. Enough said I do not want to frighten you off Online Singles Dating because there are literally millions of people having success every month and every year.

I will briefly go over the areas that should concern you, and if followed properly will benefit you in the long term.

1) Firstly you need to be able to write the perfect profile. This is your one point of contact with any date. All judgment on you and that potential date will start with your profile. This includes your photograph, your likes, dislikes and personal content. Again you need to get this right if you want to avoid disappointment in the future. For your perfect partner to home in on you and not miss you because your profile was not perfect.

2) With so millions of people going online this is bound to attract many unsavory customers. People that you and I would want to stay clear of. They are scum and should not be on these sites but how do you tell them and how do you avoid them. Again take advice read the right articles and take advice about Online Singles Dating. Don't rush in and regret it be safe not sorry!

3) Once you have set up a date how do you go about meeting that some one. Once more this could be a complete stranger some one you are going to meet for the first time. Take advice on how and where you should meet them on the first date. Again and I feel myself repeating the same line. Take advice read the right articles. This can help you get to know the person well enough before meting them of r the first date.

A lot of this may sound like common sense but unfortunately we seem to loose it when in the quest for love. I have been there and done it and my advice is sound and true with Online Singles Dating.

How to Start, Plan, and Keep a Date Night

2007-05-11T14:56:00.001-07:00

It's very common as the relationship progresses, for busy couples to begin to take each other for granted. Usually the first thing that goes in an established relationship is the quality time spent with each other building the relationship. Starting a date night is a great way for couples to 'stay connected' no matter how busy their schedule may become.

What is a date night

A date night is a way to rekindle and reminisce on the times when you both first started dating, and the giddiness it made you feel. For most people, during the dating period both people are on their best behaviors, and arguments and disagreements are kept at a minimum. Many people feel that after they 'got' the person, they wanted, they are no longer dating. This usually makes one or both of the people in the relationship complacent. Complacency is the silent killer of relationships. Date night is a way of taking the ho hum, and turning it into Ooh…hun!

Starting a date night

When you start a date night, you should pick a day of the week that's good for both parties, where there will be few chances for missing the date. Honestly look at and asses both schedules, and sit down and determine the date that's best for both. It's good to also take into account the proposed start and maybe end of date night. For some people, a few hours is fine, for others, date night means all night long. Sit and decided what's the best day and time that both people will be able to actively and openly participate in date night. When you decide on a day and time for date, it's also good to set up the ground rules for how date night should be. These rules should include reasons why and in what circumstances a date night could be broken, and what the penalties for breaking the date night would be. You might also pick an alternative night for date night when the times come when unavoidable situations may arise.

Planning the date night

It takes two devoted people working on the relationship to make and keep the relationship last. As an established couple both parties should actively participate in planning the date night. It's best if each person alternates every other week planning the date night for the other person. Choose activities that both parties enjoy doing and actively can participate in. Be creative and be different. Don't settle for routine when it's your turn to plan for date night. Don't be afraid to try something new and/or choose something that both parties have been interested in trying, but have not done.

If you want to plan a date night for talking, remember to keep the conversation positive and be reflective on your feelings, the good times you had, and the great times yet to come. Date night is not the time, nor the place to air grievances and/or to dump on the other party. Remember that the reason that you want to plan and keep a date night is because you want to continue to build on the intimacy that's already established and to make sure that neither party loses interest in keeping a date night.

Keeping the date night

The most important reason to start and plan a date night is making sure that you keep the date night going. You should try your best to ensure that nothing stops or prevents you from enjoying many nights of date nights throughout your relationship. Inevitably through time, situation, and/or profession, date night will be missed or cancelled. One of the best ways to keep a date night is to establish SPP's (Sexual Penalty Points) for the person that breaks a date night engagement. This is a fun and harmless way that both people win, when a date night is missed. Sit together and make a list of postcards with various sensual acts that a person can pick from when a SPP has been assessed.

Another great way to keep date night is to give friendly reminders and hints about what could be expected during the next date night. Many times the tease or contemplation of what could be expected on date night is enough to intrigue the other party to make sure they don't miss it. Of course, you should be prepared to match the expectation! Giving hints and leaving reminder notes about what you have planned for date night is a great way to keep both parties interest peaked in wanting to keep the date night alive.

Date night is the responsibility of both people in the relationship. Just like it took two people to start the relationship, it will take the same two to make the necessary sacrifices to keep the date night dates. These represent just a few things that you can do to keep your date night active and your relationship moving in the right direction.

Hit with the Ugly Stick

2007-05-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

If you more closely resemble Gollum then Brad Pitt, have no fear, you too can date attractive women. This seems like a pipe dream for many men, but if you know how women work you can understand why "that girl is with him". While being easy on the eyes can really help a guy get a woman, any woman no matter how attractive, this can be especially true when it comes to the women who inspire car accidents and double takes, however there are exceptions to the rule most definitely. Once you know the exceptions, you can use them to your advantage.

The number one thing to remember is that if you have an award winning personality, then you don't need to be so concerned about how your look. Women are much less aesthetically inclined. Looks almost always fall second place to a man who has a good heart. This is a big reason why you will see men with women who look way out of their league. Most women know that the real good looking men are jerks because they are aware how easily they can get women to fall all over them. This fact alone makes normal women, not the stuck up and full of them self kind, stay away from the extremely attractive men. So, what your mom told you when you were a kid really is true, it is what is on the inside that matters.

Another reason you will see the hunchback with Selma Hayek on his arm, is because a guy who does not show up his date in looks is very desirable to women. Think about how long a woman takes to get ready to go out. She wants to look even better than she normally does and so she will primp and spackle for hours until she looks just perfect. A guy, who is not so much the stunning specimen of a perfect man, is perfect to accentuate a beautiful woman. She wants all the eyes to be on her, not him, so when she has a man that is average looking she will ensure that she is what the focus of attention is. This also can be related to those men who now have a phrase especially for them, the metrosexuals. If you don't know what a metrosexual is, don't worry, most people don't, but a metrosexual is a man who spends the same amount of time and energy on his appearance as a woman, or a homosexual male. Most real women, not the fake kind that you would find in Hollywood or L.A., do not want a man who spends more time getting ready then they do. They also do not want a man who would back out of a fight if someone disrespected his lady, because he doesn't want to get his new $300 pink, button up silk shirt dirty. A woman spends a lot of time ensuring that she is the center of attention for a reason, and no man should take this away from her. Besides, it is better that she is the focus, because a beautiful woman on a man's arm makes him that much more attractive.

Yet another thing to keep in mind about the way women think is that they are all about the inner man. They want a man who will make them feel like they are the most beautiful thing in the entire world, and a man who really knows that he is lucky to have a beautiful woman, will always appreciate her. This is where the male models really lose out. They care only about looks because they want a woman that will match their beauty, in doing so they miss out on the women who have a well rounded beauty that goes much deeper than their botox. This is where the average man scores. When you treat a woman with respect, and you show them that you are there for much more than the looks of a woman, this is what makes for a good relationship and this is what opens the door for even the most troll looking men. A woman is ultimately looking for substance in a relationship and if you can provide that then you do not even have to worry about the Fabio's of the world. In this also you have to realize that in a lot of ways the woman you see before you at the present probably didn't always look the way she does now. A guy who is average looking will really do well for himself to find women who do not look like they stepped off the red carpet and instead look for the women who are still beautiful but are not swarmed with the model men. Barbie and Ken can have each other, they are beautiful on the outside but completely hollow inside, and really that would not make for any kind of a relationship. Scope out instead, the women who do not resemble a plastic doll. Even those who look a bit sloppy will, when a man adores and loves them, start to dress and groom better to ensure that her man looks good. A potential knock out can serve you better than the store bought kind anyway.

Christian Dating Site Review - Why Christian Cafe is a Top Choice

2007-05-09T11:11:00.001-07:00

Christian Café is the top choice among the Christian dating site options. This is a comfy, cozy Christian Dating Service filled with a lot of Christian Singles. In fact, according to them, they have become the largest Christian dating site on the Internet.

They are on the higher end of the dating site price structures, but they are also a quality site and you're getting the opportunity to meet a lot more people there. They also offer a free trial of their service so you can "try it before you buy it." You will just need to create your own profile and then other Christian singles will start writing to you!

In addition, the site offers a lot of good functionality, but sometimes that slows the site down a bit. It is not really a problem unless you have a slow connection to the internet already.

The most important aspect of the site to us is that is was started by Christians for Christians. It is not started by a service trying to just make money off of Christians, but instead, it was started by those who genuinely wanted true followers of Christ to find happiness with another believer. The bible gives us clear instructions for believers to marry other believers. Christian Cafe helps you find that right person.

That commitment and cause is evident in the site, the community it has attracted, and the quality and integrity of the service provided.

It is easy to see why Christian Café is a top choice for Christian singles today.

Attract Women Who Have A BoyrFriend The Same Way You Attract Women Who Are Single

2007-05-07T18:37:00.001-07:00

A lot of men like to think that there is a certain way that you deal with women who have a boyfriend in order to make her be with you.

Yet, the truth is women who are in a relationship with someone else will get with you if you are able to create enough attraction inside of her.

The only real question is will she leave the other man for you or simply cheat on him.

A woman's decision all depends on what you have to offer and what the woman is looking for.

However, it is important that you understand any woman who leaves another man for you is also capable of doing the same thing to you.

In other words, any woman that you can take from another man is a woman you shouldn't be with.

At least, if having a good life with a good woman that you don't have to worry about leaving you or cheating on you, is what you want.

If all you want is an attractive woman who will bring much drama into your life then go ahead and try and take her from her man.

Of course, in order to do that, you are going to have to create attraction inside of her like you did with every other woman you have attracted, if you ever have.

In the end, attracting women who already have a man isn't much different than attracting women who don't. Except for the fact that women who have a man who you can attract are the type of women you don't want.

Planning A Second Date

2007-05-06T17:29:00.001-07:00

When it comes to choosing something to do for the second date, choose a fun activity to keep it casual and light; you're still trying to get to know the person on the second date. When calling for a second date ask them what they would like to do, and if they tell you that they don't know or don't care, take the initiative and make some suggestions.

When deciding what to do, try to stay away from movies or double dating because these activities tend to limit conversation. You want to get to know the person and you want to be able to keep the conversation flowing. Try going for a walk on the beach or a hike in the park. Miniature Golf is a popular activity for a second date because of the fun factor; there is little pressure and the relaxed atmosphere will make the two of you more comfortable.

Bowling is a classic activity and perfect for a second date as well. It's tons of fun and you can have some great conversation at the same time. If you're looking for something different, check your local paper for upcoming fairs (art, food, etc) or events at your local park.

Try to keep the second date fun. If you want to make it feel less like a second date, ask them out during the week. Friday and Saturday are usually date nights so see if they're available during the week. Plan a short date that doesn't run too long such as grabbing some coffee or a drink after work. Afterwards, you can schedule a third date for the weekend. Now that you've gotten over the second date jitters, the third date will be much more comfortable.

Dating isn't easy and seldom does it go exactly as planned. When planning your second date, try to keep it simple and fun so that you don't end up overwhelming your date.

3 Golden Rules for Using Laughter to Build Attraction

2007-05-05T16:25:00.001-07:00

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard is this:

"If you can get a woman to laugh ALL the time you'll be able to get her into bed"

Yes, it's true!

There is a direct link between getting a woman to laugh and you're ability to build attraction. By using humor, you'll increase attraction and will be able to seduce her.

But there is one major problem with using humor:

90% of ALL men are doing it wrong!

While many guys know that laughter is a key to a woman's heart, they're using it in a completely wrong way. That's why it's important to understand how humor should be used.

In this article, you'll learn about the 3 golden rules for using laughter to build attraction:

Rule #1- Never use self deprecating humor

The most important rule for trying to make a woman laugh is this:

Self-deprecating humor should never be used.

Now if you don't have a dictionary handy, self-deprecating humor is any type of joke or action which points out one of your faults. It's important to NEVER use these types of jokes because it demonstrates lower status to women.

Your goal for interacting with women is to demonstrate higher status and establish yourself as a fun guy to be around. So your jokes and action should increase your status instead of reducing it.

Rule #2- Use humor to tease and mock

Instead of directing the humor at yourself, you should direct it at her. Yeah, I know you're probably not used to insulting women, but there is a fine art to using humor to build attraction.

Let me explain something about women…

Most of the time women are used to guys kissing their butts. Typically other men will shower women with compliments in the hopes of getting them into the bedroom. The problem is women grow tired of guys who use the same boot-licking and supplicating lines.

In order to stand out from these guys, you need to use your humor to tease a woman. While you should never be a jerk, you can build attraction by noticing her imperfections and telling funny jokes about it.

Believe me, you'll have a woman laughing hysterically if you can embrace this personality and learn to joke around with her.

Rule #3- Let humor be ONE part of your personality

The final rule is to know when to turn off the teasing and attempts at humor. Whenever you're in a conversation with a woman, there is a time to be funny and there's a time when it doesn't work.

As you've probably discovered, a woman wants guys who be something more then a slap-stick personality. In order for you to be seductive, you have to show other core personality traits in addition to humor.

For instance if you want to a seductive guy, you have to demonstrate things like:

• Confidence

• Initiative

• Intelligence

• Communication

• Interest

By having all of these personality traits, you'll be perceived as a higher status alpha male. Thus you'll be a funny guy, while showing other attractive personality traits.

Using humor is an important part of dating and seduction. By knowing how to properly use humor and make women laugh, you'll find that it's easy to increase attraction.

If can adhere to these three rules you'll stand out from other guys and will increase your overall success with women.

Use The Scarcity Principle To Get More Dates

2007-05-04T15:16:00.001-07:00

I bet you get frustrated when you approach a beautiful woman and she blows you off.

If that's the case, then this tip can help you out. In this tip you'll learn about the Scarcity Principle and why it's important for attracting women.

According to the Scarcity Principle, humans tend to operate on a fear of loss instead of a fear of gain. In other words, if a woman thinks she "has" you, then she won't be that interested. On other hand, if she thinks she's going to lose you, then she'll be more interested in pursuing YOU.

Here's how the Scarcity Principle would work when you're talking to a woman:

Say you're getting a vibe from a woman that she's not interested in you. Or she tells you she doesn't want to give her number or go on a date.

Normally most guys would give up and walk away.

You won't!

Instead of giving up, you should make her think she's going to miss out on something incredible.

You could say something like:

"If we went on a date, YOU could have had the best time of your life. But your hesitation is hurting your chances. You could be losing out on something that could have been great!"

This technique works because you're describing a great benefit she COULD receive then telling her that she can't have it. It's like you're taking something away from her

So next time you're talking to a woman, use a few scarcity lines to get her interested in getting your number or setting up a date.

Seduce Women By Knowing How to Bust a Move

2007-05-02T12:12:00.001-07:00

As you can see by now, "self improvement" is an important part of improving your chances with women. By making subtle changes to your personality, appearance and lifestyle, you'll become a more attractive guy.

Well in this tip, I'll focus on why learning how to dance can help you become more of an interesting person.

Now I know...

Dancing probably makes you really nervous.

In fact it's widely known that a lot of guys would rather fight in a war rather then dance in front of others. Furthermore, some guys actually have crippling fear about dancing.

That being said, having skill at dancing can be secret weapon for attracting women. If you can learn how to dance well, you'll have an UNFAIR advantage over other men.

Listen…

Women LOVE men who can dance. If you learn how to dance, most women will think you're a sexy guy. By dancing well, they'll wonder what you're like in the sack. (This is a good thing!)

Now if you're like other men, dancing isn't your strength.

Here's what you can do...

Take a dance class!

Seriously, there are dance classes all over the place. Just find one which focuses on beginners and you'll be on your way to learning a valuable seduction skill.

My recommendation is take a class which teaches Salsa or Latin dancing. While you might feel ridiculous at first, going to one of these classes can help you learn a natural rhythm on the dance floor.

In addition to the benefit of learning a skill there is another great reason for taking dance classes. These classes are FILLED WITH WOMEN. So you can easily approach women while learning how to dance at the same time!

Learning how to dance is a great skill which makes men attractive to women. If you take the time to go to classes and develop this skill, you'll become incredibly attractive guy.

Why Do Men Cheat?

2007-04-30T15:19:00.001-07:00

So, why is it that men hop from one woman to another so often, cheating over and over? Why do they disappear so often after having sex with a woman once or twice? Why do they make promises that they don't intend to uphold.

There are two main reasons as to why a man would cheat on a woman or simply move on:

1. The more common reason is something you have no control over and cannot and should not take personally - a man's drive for variety and novelty when it comes to sexual partners. It's a dream for most men to indulge in adventure of seeing many women simulatenously and having a constant "flow" of new sexual partners. For some men it's just a stage in life where they need to "get it out of their system" before they decide that they want a monogamous, long term relationship more than their sexual escapades. For others, the desire of novelty and variety never goes away, and they "play" as long as they can. You cannot change that and so can't many of the men who have that lifestyle.

2. The second reason, although less common, is very important to understand. Many men are blinded by their sexual attraction towards a a certain woman, and they truly believe that they are in love. However, shortly after having sex with a particular woman a man often realizes that there is nothing else that he wants from that woman besides sex. But in order for a man to stick around, he must be interested in a woman as a person - he must find her interesting and engaging and he must crave her social company. This is exactly the point where you - a woman - have a lot of control over. If you develop yourself, if you make yourself a more interesting person by learning new things and engaging in new activities, if you possess a great sense of humor, and a laid back attitude, if you are sarcastic and enjoy teasing and banter, if you are more feminine and elegant than the average woman, you are much more likely to find a man who will appreciate those qualities, realizing that they are not that common, and who will want to have a more meaningful relationship with you.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
The most effective dating & relationships advice on the net.

Quiz - Are You a Possessive Lover?

2007-04-27T18:19:00.001-07:00

To possess means to own. Do we own our partner? Do we own their time? Are they our slaves? If you ask anybody these questions, you will hear a definite no. But some of those who say no may be very possessive about their partner. The relationship breaks down after sometime hurting both the partners very badly.

Why are some people so possessive? Is that a complex of some kind? Are they afraid that their partner may be snatched away by somebody else? Or do they want their partner to spend all the time with them and no body else? Does suspicion come in to picture? Suppose you come across some emails of your partner. Would you look at them? Would you then ask your partner about the mails? What if your partner is late on a day? Are you happy to see them back or you are angry about their coming late? Do you demand the explanation for being late?

If your partner is speaking on phone in a low voice, does that make you feel suspicious? Do you suspect that they may be speaking with their past lover?

If someone sends an invitation to your partner for some party, do you insist that they should not go alone? Those who are possessive will try to control every minute of their partner's life. They never allow the partner to use anything gifted to them by anybody else. They do not want the partner to talk about the past. They rather hate that. They treat themselves as the superior of their partner and try and control every activity. In the end the partner refuses to take this any more and the relationship breaks-up.

To love somebody is a great feeling. But the result of love should be pleasure for both the partners. If one partner feels like an animal in cage, that is not true love.

Best Sexual Positions - For Getting Pregnant

2007-04-26T15:39:00.001-07:00

Contrary to what anyone may think, a pregnant woman has strong sexual urges, as well as her partner, and there is no reason not to indulge them.

Pregnancy sex positions takes into account the obvious temporary changes in the woman's anatomy.
Being pregnant is not being ill, and with some common sense and knowledge, the couple's sex life can continue without interruption.

Pregnancy Segments

A pregnancy is truly divided into three segments.

During the first trimester of 90 days, the woman's body is undergoing vast hormonal and physiological changes, even if she does not exhibit such changes.

These include breast changes, quite frequent urination, nausea, and so on.

The second trimester is the basic growth period, where the body has settled down, and besides a slow gradual growth; the woman suffers mostly from the inability to concentrate.

The last trimester has the most changes, with additional hormonal changes, large belly growth, constant urination and moodiness. Nevertheless, in most couples the desire for sexual relations does not abate.

The Best Pregnancy Sex Positions

Obviously the couple can forget the missionary and all lady-on-her -back positions. This however gives the happy couple the ability to really experiment and retain all the loving tenderness that is that glue that
keeps couples together.

A word of caution.

Each of the positions described below need a great deal of feedback from the woman during the whole process. Furthermore , the man must refrain from any sudden or spasmodic movements, and rather, adapt to the woman's changed physiology.

Lady on Top.

This is best position for the last trimester, but is fine throughout the whole pregnancy. The woman is in control and can control the depth of the man's penis as it penetrates her, and the speed of the movements.

Cliff Hanger.

This is a great position for the couple and very much loved by the man. The woman will lay face up on the edge of the bed, but her legs are hanging off the bed with her feet on the floor. The man approaches her from the front either standing or kneeling, and easily penetrates the woman. As the man can penetrate very deeply, the woman must caution him to go slow and follow her advise on how deep to go and how fast to thrust.

The Two Spoons.

A great position, with pregnancy or not, it allows for no pressure at all on the woman's belly and abdomen areas. The couple lay side to side, and the man enters from the rear. The penetration is not too deep, and the movement can be coordinated as in a slow and romantic dance.

Easy Doggy Position.

Here the woman is on her hands and knees, and the woman's belly is able to hang without discomfort. The man enters from behind, and the woman can use some pillows to support her upper torso. The man can trust without worry, and as penetration is not as deep as would be expected, there is very little discomfort to the woman.

It is advised that couple try and stimulate the clitoris either manually or orally. This will give the woman great pleasure, and without any fear of consequences. However, the woman is also advised to not to do this laying on her back after the 16th week (4th month) of the pregnancy. It can be done easily in a sitting or standing situation.

So enjoy this wonderful time in the couple's lives, and keep your sexual life alive and well.
For all sexual health issues and advice be sure to visit http://www.net-planet.org/index.html daily, as we update our articles continuously.

What To Say To Meet Women Anywhere!

2007-04-25T13:50:00.001-07:00

You see, knowing what to SAY to a woman is utterly and totally dependent on WHAT YOU CAN OBSERVE ABOUT THAT WOMAN.

It's not so much a matter of what to say.

No, the real secret of "opening" women is, knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice, and even KNOWING WHAT TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT.

Does that make sense?

Also, the approach to opening her might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right?

Why?

Because the CONTEXT she is in and what you NOTICE about her is going to be different.

If she's studying, and you notice that she's having a hard time; thinking really hard, talking to herself outloud or just thinking "OUTLOUD" in her head, it would NOT make sense to walkup and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.

So, I will say it again. The most important thing, first and foremost, is NOT what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.

Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them?Is it a good way to first "open up" talking to a woman? If so,what should I compliment?

Ok. I'll repeat: it depends on the context, where she is,what she is doing, and what you NOTICE and can OBSERVE.

Look: whether it is opening her by using a compliment, or asking her a question about something, or making a comment about something she's doing or something going on in the environment,I will ask myself the same question, "What can I notice about this person that I can use to make a connection?"

Now, let's say I notice something about her that I DO find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:

1. NO sexual content in the compliments. That means I don't compliment on her great boobs, great legs, great butt, etc. No woman (no half-way SANE woman) wants a drooling lecher.

2. All compliments to be delivered with good eye contact (infact, ANY openers are delivered this way) with a smile on my face AND in my eyes ( I sort of make them twinkle a bit) and deliverd with a MATTER of fact voice tone.

This means I don't over do it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered, matter of fact, with no concern on my part whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.

It is NOT about her accepting or rejecting what I say. It is ONLY about me wanting to say what I have to say, and any response she has is OK WITH ME.

Really, this is about the sub-text. This means, you see, that there is the surface message, the actual words I say. Those can be important.

But the sub-text is the unspoken or implied message I am delivering about me and how I walk through the world; that take full responsibility for how I feel about myself, my situation, the events and circumstances in my life, and I don't need anyone to approve or validate my message.

Now, trust me. When you come from THAT place, and add in a touch of humor....

Almost Anything You Say Will Get A Good Response!

Notice something else. This is a great but different KIND of confidence. It's not the kind of confidence that say, loudly, "I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT".

It's more of a, "If I get what I want, that's fine and good, and if not, that's ok too. I'm having fun regardless".

Ok. Back to compliments then.

I prefer to compliment women on the following things:

1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy awoman who moves beautifully and/or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows, "I just wanted to tell....I think you have perfect.......posture. You just carry yourself beautifully."

Notice the ....... This indicates a pause in your speaking. I don't run everythingtogetherintoonesentencelikethis.

No. I take....my....time. I pause, right before I tell them what I am going to tell them, so they will get curious about what I am going to say, and therefore be more receptive.

The pauses in the music are as much a part of the music as the notes, to use a metaphor.

2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say, "I just wanted to tell you...I admire women with class and style...so I had to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE."

Note that this is what I call an IMPLIED compliment. I didn't' directly tell her I think SHE has class and style. I said I admire women with class and style, so I had to say "hi".That IMPLIES that I think she has class and style.

Why is this important?

Well, by implying the compliment, she has to use her imagination to interpret what you meant.

Imagination is an ACTIVE process, and so she doesn't resist the message, as she herself has to take an active hand in creating it!

Implied compliments are very useful in slipping past any resistance or skepticism to your message!

3. I will compliment on their "energy". I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into "energy" or "vibes". It doesn't matter if you believe in it or not-although I hope one day you will.

The important thing is, MOST women believe in it.

So if I notice a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say, "I just wanted to tell you.....I think you have..a beautiful....energy about you, and it just made me have to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE".

Ok. Another major way to meet women is to say something funny; make an observation or comment that is humorous, based on something you can observe.

Now, again, I can't give you a "one line fits all" example, because again, it's based on what you are observing in the actual situation. So you will have to observe her, asking, "What can I notice that I can use to make a connection?".

Next, ask yourself, "How can I phrase that in a clever, funny way that gets attention and makes her laugh?"

This takes some practice. But you can get good at it.

Now, again, I hesitate to give word for word examples, because it depends on what you observe.

Here Are Some Approaches I Do NOT Recommend:

1. Asking her the time, or for directions. It's trite, lame, and then where do you go from there? If you are terribly shy and can't even talk to women, ok, you can start here. But learn to do something else quickly.

2. Being insulting or in any way rude. I don't care what you might have heard. Insulting a woman is stupid. Any woman with choice is just going to move on. If she's kind, she won't insult you back. If she isn't, she just might give a verbal tongue lashing, and that's not the kind of tongue action you want!

3. Invading her space when I meet her. Once I make my initial opening, tell her my name, shake her hand; I then actually take a step back, away from her, to give her back her space.

Women tell me that, to them, it demonstrates respect. It also indicates that, while I am strong enough to come up and meet them, I am also concerned with their safety, and they like that combination. And finally, it indicates a challenge: just because she gave me a good initial response to my opener, doesn't mean she has me! It establishes a challenge, right away.

Don't Take Your Lover For Granted

2007-04-24T12:12:00.001-07:00

Tom recently had a quarrel with his fiancée, Mandy.
It was all about a break down in communication between the two of them. They just realized that they were drifting apart daily, and were not talking as much as they used to.
Where they would talk and chat for hours on end before, they were now spending minutes to just talk generally. They didn't connect wth each others' hearts like they used to before.

It didn't need a diviner to tell them both that they were about to split up. Despite the love that they once had for each other, the ominous signs of a separation were there for any observer to see.

Many times, people in a relationship tend to take each other for granted, especially if they have been together for quite a while.

Assumptions about each other start to come in, and as a wise man said, assumptions are the mother of frustrations. Typically, frustrations start to set in between the two of them, and they begin to grow apart.

Taking your partner for granted is the sure way to kill the love you have for him or her. No one likes to be treated casually.
After all, your partner is supposed to be the most important person, and the most special person in your life.

He or she must be treated that way at all times. Both of you must not stop being courteous and affectionate towards each other. You should continue to do those things that endeared you to each other at the beginning of your relationship.

That is the way to keep the fires of love burning for each other.
Don't make assumptions about your partner. Always clarify issues, and at all times, keep the lines of communication open.
This way, you will avoid a potential break up in your relationship.

Dating Advice for Men That Works

2007-04-20T10:10:00.001-07:00

I have been utterly useless with women in the past. Having spent many years of my youthful life failing with women, I decided to make a change. Now after years of learning, trial and error, reading books, and development I have become successful in becoming attractive with women and dating. In fact I even coach men one on one in the "field" like the real life version of Hitch.

What follows is dating advice that works:

Dating Advice 1:

The first 3-4 dates are very important. Dating is like a game. If you play it right, you should have been able to escalate to kissing and more. You see within this time frame, the girl decides whether or not you're worth it. If you have not escalated during these dates, you will very likely get into the LJBF (Lets Just Be Friends) category and getting out of this my friends is near to impossible.

Dating Advice 2:

Make the dates interesting. Avoid the usual dating scenes like cinemas, clubs and bars. Be unpredictable. Go for ACTION dates – these are dates with a lot of activity. The key word here is VENUE CHANGE. There are reasons for this. You see when we change scenes during a date; subconsciously we feel we have spent a lot more time with the other person, hence building familiarity and comfort. This also has the benefit of making it more interesting.

Dating Advice 3:

For crying out load, STOP with the gifts such as flowers and chocolates. Why? You have only known each other briefly, and doing things like that comes off as APPROVAL SEEKING, and suspicious. You could do these things after you're in the relationship, and want to show your appreciation, but too early, and you will KILL the ATTRACTION.

Dating Advice 4:

Not knowing you are the MAN and she is the WOMAN. As the man you will take the lead. Being the leader has many attractive qualities. Back in tribal times, the leader takes the choice of all the females. This has not changed and still in our subconscious programming. These days' women are still looking for those qualities in a man. So how do you take the lead? Decide where you are going in advance, and take the lead in decisions.

Dating Advice 5:

When a woman dates a man she is thinking "he seems nice, let's find out more about each other". Too many guys view a woman they are dating as their potential WIFE. As you can imagine this puts a lot of pressure on the guy. They become frigid and cannot BE THEMSELVES. My advice is DON'T DO IT. Have the same view as the woman. You are screening her to see if she is worth it. So relax, be laid back and enjoy yourself.

Dating Advice 6:

STOP with the needy COMPLIMENTS.

"Oh, you're so beautiful today"

"Wow so gorgeous"

These kinds of compliments send shivers down a woman SPINE people. You are there to find out more about each other and have fun. Dating her just because she is beautiful lowers your standards and intelligent women consider it an insult. They think you are shallow! DON'T DO THAT. If you want to give a compliment, give something sincere and genuine. Always include a reason for doing so. For example, "I like your top; it goes very well with the colour of your dress".

I could go on and on about things to do and not to do when dating women. I have only touched on some of the issues…

Pros and Cons of the Age Gap

2007-04-18T08:47:00.001-07:00

Being with someone who is several years older or younger than you can be both a blessing and a curse. Before you decide to get serious, you should know what you're getting into.

If you're younger...

PROS

You get to be with someone mature. Someone who doesn't "act out" or throw tantrums just because you happened to mention that you have a crush on a celebrity. Also, because of your lover's life experience, he/she can dish out valuable advice that you couldn't get from your friends.

You can learn a thing or two - and I'm not just talking about life lessons. Older people have had more sexual experiences, and if you've got the right lover, he or she won't hesitate to teach you some new "moves".

Your lover is more interesting than people your age. Again, this is mostly because of life experiences. Older men and women have gone through enough problems and opportunities, and they have several funny, inspiring, painful, and horrifying stories to tell. Also, if the age gap is wide enough, the type of music or movies that he or she likes may be completely different from yours, and getting a taste of these "oldies" can help you grow culturally.

CONS

Emotional baggage. The older man and the older woman have enough emotional baggage to drag you down. Beware of verbally psychoanalyzing their actions - it's unlikely that they want a "kid" to tell them what they did wrong in their lives. Instead, be understanding and make sure that your older lover isn't an emotional vampire who will suck you dry.

If you're older...

PROS

The younger man/woman can inspire you with a sense of awe. Having a young, new body next to you can knock a few years off of your own age. You get to do more youthful things, and you tap the mindset of today's youth.

The younger lover doesn't have that much emotional baggage. This means that things are more "happy-go-lucky" and smoother with the younger lover. You won't get late night conversations about every ex that's ever broken his or her heart. Also, there's not much that you can get compared to. Odds are, if he or she says that you're the best sex in his/her life, it's true.

The younger lover looks up to you. This is because of all the advice and life lessons you have to offer. You've been through a lot, and your lover knows this. Odds are, you're the first one he or she talks to during times of conflict.

CONS

The younger lover can be immature. Sometimes, young lovers are such perfectionists that they seek all sorts of things that you can't give. This is why, if you want to go out with someone younger, make sure that he or she is mature for his or her age.

An Instant Way to Destroy Your Fear of Rejection By Women

2007-04-17T06:13:00.001-07:00

Having a fear of rejection by a woman is one of the worst feelings in the world. This is especially true when all you want to do is initiate a conversation with her. Not only is she turning you down, she's also insinuating that something is wrong with you.

No matter which way you slice it, rejection hurts! In fact the fear of rejection is so painful that many guys avoid women as a way to avoid this agony.

The good news is there is a great technique you can use to eliminate ANY chance of rejection!

Do you know what it is?

Well it's simple…

You approach women who WANT to be approached!

Now, you might be wondering how to located women want to be approached. Well the following technique provides a proven system which eliminates almost all chances of rejection.

It's simple…

Whenever you spot an interesting woman, you lock eyes on her and wait. Eventually she'll glance around the room and look your way. Which this happens, you give her a warm smile and wave at her.

If she smiles and waves back, then you approach her and start a conversation.

Sounds too easy to be true?

Well I find this technique is a great way for many guys to approach women. Unlike other techniques, you won't resort to using cheesy pick up lines or say something stupid. Instead you'll eliminate your fear of rejection by approaching women who have given you "permission" to start talking to them.

In fact, by smiling and acknowledging your eye contact, this woman has given you the green light to come up and talk to her. Since knows you've checked out and hasn't avoided your eye contact, you're being given a guaranteed women to approach.

What's funny is this technique works really well, but few guys think to implement it. I am personally surprised at the number of guys who fail to use this technique. It works women are like you- they like to check people out. By locking eyes with you and smiling, they are indicating a level of attraction.

To summarize, the next time you see an attractive women, make eye contact with her, smile and then wave. If she locks eyes with you and smiles back, then you know she's open to being approached. So all you have to do is walk up and initiate a conversation.

When you implement this technique into your life, you'll quickly get rid of your fear of rejection by women!

Dating Tips for Shy Single People

2007-04-16T04:45:00.001-07:00

Shyness is a social affliction. It is a fear of mixing with others. Shy people and unhappy people have one thing in common: they mainly focus upon themselves. But self-focus comes from insecurity and kills interaction. The greatest feelings of self-worth come from our positive effect on others. It has been shown that low self-esteem goes hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much attention inward. Confidence comes by doing something daily that focuses on someone, or something, else in a positive way. My hero Denzel Washington once said in a film, "A person wrapped up in himself makes a very small package!" Indeed.

I often wonder why anyone would boast about being shy, because shyness is a focus upon fear and the self which increases the inability to engage another person in basic interaction. When you are in a situation where you are meeting new people and interacting with others you immediately become less nervous. Life only works reciprocally. If we merely expect from others we tend to get very little until we begin to give too. Many people who have not learned how to share find this giving difficult and simply wait with open hands to receive. Yet it is very clear that the people who give the most tend to receive in abundance. When we focus upon ourself, there is a limited field of vision which obscures the whole picture and gives us just one narrow view of the world – ours. We always expect something from others emotionally, yet are unprepared to give much back.

A shy person worries constantly about the REACTION of others and what they might think; whether they are WORTHY enough in that situation and how they will be TREATED because of their low self-esteem. Being so focused upon themself and their perceived treatment, they have little to give to others, which keeps the shy one in the same situation – being sidelined, alone and feeling excluded.

There are 6 main ways to overcome shyness, listed in order of importance:

1. Be proud of yourself and appreciate who you are, regardless of your 'faults'. You cannot be acceptable to others if you reject yourself. How can they affirm what you yourself dislike and reject? If you learn to accept your faults as well as your strengths, to cut yourself some slack, others will too. If you have to change yourself in any way for the potential date, that's the worst start to a relationship. You will always be trying to please and feel inadequate for it.

2. Shift the focus from yourself and push it outwards. When you shift your focus, you learn to relax more. Everything does not appear to be such a big deal. Relaxing comes through many forms: making a phone call to someone for an easy chat – they might be so grateful for your contact; going for a walk; listening to your favourite music; doing some puzzles; talking online to someone; sending a simple email to that valued person; reading a book and, above all, accepting everything that is happening at that moment instead of getting stressed about it or trying to control it.

3. Ask as many questions as possible. It doesn't matter how difficult this is, learn to ask questions, especially with a potential date. Any question is indicative of curiosity and is a doorway to dialogue and interaction. It does not matter how simple and trivial the first question is, that is vital to open that door and it shows your interest, making you seem less one-dimensional and more engaging.

4. Do not always wait for others to act, chances are they are shy too! Pluck up the courage to make the first move sometimes. If you don't try to engage the people you are interested in they will never know your feelings and others will beat you to it. Belief and desire need courage and conviction around them to get the required results.

5. Join in activities, like a local activity club, dating club, or becoming a volunteer. These are the surest ways of boosting your self-esteem and getting that date as you remove the focus from yourself and give the attention to others to reinforce them. You will feel wonderful seeing the results of your actions and the difference you're making to others. Most important, people will suddenly want to know you because they feel valued!

6. Begin to appreciate your world and what you have today and see the difference as your life changes in front of you. Don't take life for granted and the blessings you have. Stop and smell the roses so that you too can smell much sweeter!

When to Say I Love You - How to Know if It is Time to Say the Three Big Words

2007-04-14T09:54:00.001-07:00

When to say I love you? Falling in love can be likened to a lot of different things, probably because falling for someone is a different experience for every person. Some people compare falling in love to getting hit between the eyeballs by a very large baseball bat. For others, love sneaks up on them like a small, furry pooch with very sharp teeth that slinks up behind them to bite them on the butt. Yet others compare it to various forces of nature that tend to start out slow but build momentum unstoppable until it pretty much crashes down on them like a tsunami. But still the big question is how and when to say I love you.

Regardless of HOW you tend to fall in love, one of the most difficult things about it is undoubtedly trying to figure out WHEN to tell the girl you've fallen in love with the three simple words "I Love You". It's difficult to decide when to say I love you. This simple and seemingly harmless phrase carries with it a wealth of emotions, ranging from ecstatic hopefulness to abject terror. Here are a few tips to help you determine when you to say I love you to someone and NOT get your emotional tail kicked as a result.

First things first: examine your feelings. Before saying anything, and to know when to say I love you, be sure you're in love with your prospective partner. Admittedly love can be construed a lot of ways, but generally we ALL want to find someone that we can spend the rest of our lives with. So first things first, are you just after a quick romp in the sack, or are you after something a bit more meaningful? If sex is all you're after, don't even bother talking about love. You can say the words, but when you say I love you without sincerity, they won't be honest and most girls are sharp enough to know bovine manure when they spot it. On the other hand, if you think that you can stand to wake up to your potential partner's face every morning, can put up with her little foibles and irritating habits without going berserk, and if you think that you'll wind up having this aching empty spot in your heart if you lose her for good, THEN you can tell her you love her with more sincerity. This is when you say I love you and you know it feels right and you mean it from the bottom of your heart.

Now, aside from YOUR feelings, also examine her feelings. When you say I love you it's not just your feelings that you have to consider. Granted this is much, much, much more difficult to do than to say. Girls are past masters at masking their emotions behind deadpan expressions and knowing looks. I'm sure you know the "looks" I'm talking about... but thankfully, there are at least a few simple indicators that you can rely on as clues to whether your feelings are one sided or mutual and hints when to say I love you. Laughter and smiles are one of the simplest clues. Make a girl laugh and she MIGHT like you. Another indicator is conversation. IF all your talks are one sided, you can usually forget about it. Big hint here: girls LOVE to talk. If your girl is clamming up, it means something is wrong somewhere. Smiles and conversation aside, a third indicator is time spent together. No girl would spend large amounts of time with you unless she enjoys your company. This MIGHT also mean that she regards you as a friend and not a potential hubby, but let's face it; the BEST marriages start out as friendships.

Now, the final tip is probably going to be either the easiest thing in the world for you to do, or the toughest, depending on how you think. The question of WHEN to say I love you to her is a mind boggling experience for people who like to plan things out in advance. You see, love isn't logical, and trying to apply logic to it with things like planning a date with a perfect setting, romantic candles, etc., etc., etc., will often lead to a case of emotional hemorrhoids. Take my advice on this: if you love a girl, don't bother trying to think of WHEN you should tell her or when to say I love you. Keep it business as usual, go out, keep her company, and have fun. Then, in the middle of all that, you will know when to say I love you, there will come a point, when she will say or do one of those things that endear her to you so much, and you'll feel all warm and fuzzy but comfortable around her. Then at that point, just TELL her. The sheer spontaneity of it, combined with your heart most likely being in your eyes when you say I love you, will make a bigger impact on her than a planned scenario.

Truth About What A Woman Wants On A Online Dating Site And What She Is Willing To Accept

2007-04-13T04:48:00.001-07:00

If you look at what women put on their online dating profiles in terms of what they want in a man, you might find yourself coming up short of her expectations.

Yet, the truth of the matter is the majority of times what she says she wants is something that she has never had.

In the cases where she has had it she really didn't want it and only wants it now because she doesn't know how to get it.

In other words, the man that she wants and the one that can attract her, most of the time is not the same man.

What this means for men is you can never disqualify a woman you like online because her profile wants a man that isn't you.

At the same time, there needs to be something other than her pictures that is attracting you to her.

Women who have managed to write enough to let you know what they do and don't want in a man; usually have something in their profile that you can connect with.

All you have to do is connect where the connection can be made.

Once you express that connection to a woman, it then becomes her choice when it comes to deciding on if she should respond, despite the fact that you are not what she says she wants in her profile.

Then again there might be some women who will refuse to respond to anyone other than whom she says she wants.

In general, these are the types of women who you wouldn't connect with anyways.

In the end, no matter what, it is your responsibility to let a woman know of your interest.

Sometimes, all a woman is really looking for is a man with enough courage to connect with her in a way other than physical and the only way to find out is to initiate contact.

Dating After Divorce

2007-04-12T02:26:00.001-07:00

Getting back in the dating world after a divorce can be difficult and downright scary. Unfortunately, divorce can leave you emotionally scarred and feeling less than desirable to the opposite sex. It is important to take a step back and evaluate what you want and what you are ready before jumping into the dating scene once again.

You don't have to rush back into a serious relationship. Enjoy dating and just getting out there to meet new people. You need to take the time to discover who you are now and what you really want in a relationship. Getting too serious too fast after a divorce can lead into some major problems. Date many different types of women before you settle down again.

Your self esteem has probably taken a big hit, so it is best to take some "me" time to work on yourself physically and emotionally. It is an excellent time to join a gym or take up a new sport or hobby. Until you face the emotional baggage you have from your past relationship, you cannot have a healthy relationship. Take the time to figure out your past mistakes to make sure you do not repeat them with your future relationships. If you need professional help to get over emotional issues, seek it out before you move forward with someone else. You will be a better partner and you will feel better yourself.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable or you won't be able to give 100% to your next relationship. Love can hurt, but you can't let it make you bitter inside or you will miss out on so much in life. Just because you have been hurt in the past doesn't mean the next relationship you have will end in the same way. Most importantly, don't make your future relationships suffer for your past. It is not fair to assume all women are the same.

If you are ready for a new beginning, then online dating is a great way to get started after a divorce because you don't have to find a single social circle. If you have been out of the game for several years, you can't possibly know what to expect. Online dating makes it easy to meet single people of any age.

East European Girls and Russian Ukrainian Mail Order Brides Tips, E-Romance and Online Dating

2007-04-10T03:41:00.001-07:00

The Roman matron asked Rabbi Yossi ben Halafta:

"How many days did it take G-d to create the world?" He answered: "It took him 6 days, and that is what written in Shmot 31:17: "During 6 days G-d created sky and earth…»

And what has he been doing since then?-asked the matron.

He has been arranging the marriages. This man will be a husband for that women etc- said Rabbi Yossi

But I can also do that!- said matron. – I have lots of female and male slaves. I can easily make up couples from them.

Rabbi Yosef said: You think that arranging marriages is very easy? But for the G-d it is just as hard as to split Red Sea.

After Yosef left, the matron called 2000 of her slaves, ont thousand of female slaves were standing in front on thousand male slaves. Then she said: This man will be a husband of that woman, that woman will be a wife of that man and so on. The marriages were made the same night.

But the next morning just married couples came to matron, one man had a wound on his head, another one didn't have an eye, a woman had a broken leg. They started to shout: I don't want that woman! I can't live with that man!'

The matron asked to call Rabbi Yossi and when he came, she said: Your Tora is right, and what you told me is true.

Rabbi Yossi answered: Now you see! You thought hat arranging marriages is an easy task. And it turned out to be harder then splitting the Red Sea. Pesikta da-Rav Kahana 2:4

Matching people is not an easy task at all. We are all different and of course every person has special views and likes. It is impossible to find somebody who will match you 100%, but you should not worry about that! What is important is to find somebody who will be willing to compromise and solve the problems together.

Many people think it is impossible to create a good family with somebody who is not from your own culture. Our experience has proved that most of Russian women actually have the life values that men wished American women had: they are loyal, sincere, family oriented (doesn't mean that she only wants to stay at home, but the first priority is always family, many people think that in Russian culture women are housewifes, and all they can do is to take care of house and kids, in fact most of the girls have jobs, but they would not put in in fron of family interests). Russian women pay lots of attention to their outlook.

All those qualities surely make it easier for a man to find a great match. We believe that matching people is a serious process and it has to be fully supervised by professionals. We wish you good luck in finding your match!

The Repressed Intuition & Nature of Women

2007-04-08T20:21:00.001-07:00

Natural women know how to get the man they want. How do I know? It's happened to me many times. They know all the small things to do to maintain your interest (including sex).

Their intuition is at mastery level. They will flirt, they will show nonverbal body language and interest. They will even approach a man dare they miss the opportunity to connect with them.

What happened to our American women? They left their intuition at the door when they traded it in for social and personal advancement.

They left their natural character behind. It's completely repressed.

They don't flirt, they don't show emotion, they don't approach men (though they'll readily reject them), they're dissmive and aloof or otherwise prickteasing and pretentious.

It's up to you to know the truth of this behavior and be grounded in the FACT that none of it is natural behavior.

Therein lies your hope. You were never the problem in the first place, you just weren't cognitive to their behavior.

You were also influenced by social powers beyond your own recognition to behave a certain way around them to your discord.

Natural behavior is missing and I cover this in my 'secret to women' clearly so that you can 'get' what's going on and understand women and your relation to them.

Though our women have taken on new opportunities and exciting advancements it actually screwed up their ability to get the relationships they desired with men.

Many usually find themselves attracting all the wrong types of men. They wonder why they can't meet any men when they forgot how to send out nonverbal signals of interest because they became more like man.

Natural women don't get into these problems because they weren't influenced by others agendas or the false need for career advancement. They can see the characteristics of men very clearly.

My point? You've had the wrong model of sexuality in the first place.

Just because our women have adapted to personal advancement and social prestige doesn't mean that it's their true biological or sexual nature.

Their behavior and your lack of cognition (as compared to your own 'inner game') is what has really thrown you 'off'.

It just means they've been influenced by their socio-cultural reality, just like (more natural) women in other cultures have been influenced by their environmental reality.

Don't reward women for selling out. Value them on their natural character. It's the little truth they have left. It's the only grounding that exists.

Inner development throws off all of their relationships and social adaptation means they're just being used and manipulated by someone else. There's no basis for grounding other than our pure, uncorrupted birthright.

Natural character is love, romance, emotion, joy, bliss, excitement, happiness and hope. Women who 'develop' and take on career opportunities leave all of these truthful emotions behind.

Those who adapt socially lose all of them and get grounded on all of the wrong things.

The true nature is within all of these women and it is the path to sex and seduction. You can be the man who sees it, knows it and can bring them out of their adaptive misery for a short time.

Dating Ukraine Girl - First Meeting With Her Family

2007-04-07T19:21:00.001-07:00

If you have already been to Ukraine you will know how proud local people are when it comes to family and achievements. If you have not been here before: here are a few clues how to understand the traditions.

Ukrainians are hospitable. Sometimes they are so hospitable, that a foreigner gets scared and simply wants to leave as soon as possible. If you have spent so much money and time to come to this country, then you will be sorry, if all of a sudden you leave. Ukrainian girls will try most of the time to explain this or that and why, but you will have so many questions that it will be hard to get the answers to all of them immediately. Here are a few short guidelines that cover the basics of Ukrainian cordiality, as for the details, do not be afraid to ask your girlfriend.

Family plays an important part in the life of every Ukrainian girl. Young women live with their parents until they get married. Sometimes they leave their homes for a few years while they are in the university, but as soon as their studies are over, they go back home. They respect their parents so much that sometimes they are ready to follow a career in medicine or public sector, because according to the old generation these professions are prestigious.

Young ladies have a rebellious nature, they know that there is a whole world full of chances and good possibilities and they often search for the perfect husband out of Ukrainian boundaries. Still because they are very close to their families, their parents know about their steps and even if they cannot always agree with them, they support their daughters.

That is why when you arrive in Ukraine to meet face to face with your lady, it is quite likely that you will be invited to a family dinner. Most modern families are open-minded but they still keep some traditions. For example if you are visiting the girl's family, you should take small present for the parents. A good idea is to buy a bottle of fine wine or whiskey for the father and a big bunch of flowers for the mother.

If the girl has brothers or sisters, you should think about taking something small for them. The presents depend on their age. If they are 16-18 or less, you can go with a block of chocolate. If they are older, a smaller bouquet for the girls or good magazine on fashion or sports will be a great solution.

During the dinner or supper you should be polite and pay attention to everyone. Probably the parents will speak only in Ukrainian or Russian and definitely you will need interpreting help. Language barriers may make you nervous but do not let this to ruin your time together.

When you talk, speak slowly and try to have as clear pronunciation as possible. Wait for someone to finish the speech and then ask for translation. Alternatively, when you have something to say, ask for excuse that you do not speak the local language and ask your Ukraine girl to translate for your words.

Surely the parents will have a lot of questions: what do you do, do you own house, car, do you have brothers and sisters, what are your parents like, do they work or they are retired, what you do in your spare time and so on. Before the meeting try to answer these questions and ask your date for translation of some of the words. Learn a few Ukrainian words and surely with will make great positive impression on your future parents in law!

Internet Dating Tips and Advice

2007-04-06T12:20:00.001-07:00

An online internet dating site is (in my opinion) the easiest way to find a partner in today's world. With the ever-increasing technology aids, not only can you correspond with someone, but also see them in real-time. It used to be that an internet dating site was a taboo and people just didn't trust it or the quality of people they might meet. But even so, you run the same risks as if you were to actually meet the person face-to-face. What is the difference? Well, you can't smell a person through an internet dating site!

This article was written to give free dating tips and dating advice to those who are unfamiliar to internet dating. Or maybe you've had a couple bad experiences and are wondering why you are running into "duds". My dating advice is not aimed particularly at either men or women, but looks at both sides. I am not a psychologist or therapists and all dating advice and tips are my personal thoughts found through my internet dating experiences.

So why choose online dating services rather than conventional dating? I'll list a few benefits:

Millions of people from around the world sign up for internet dating services everyday. Also there are thousands of dating sites coming online everyday. So not only can you find a person to match your needs but also a dating service built around your specific need.
- You're in the US, you can meet someone from Australia
- Find someone in a different state that you would enjoy visiting.
- There are Asian dating, Jewish dating, Christian dating, adult dating, senior dating, hiking dating, dog walking dating sites and the list goes on.
Your search criteria can be more detailed, less compromising later.
- What hobbies are they into?
- What are their turn-offs?
- What are their interests
People tend to be more honest through correspondence. You know the true person quicker.
You can still have an online date even if you're sick.
It's safe because you're not in the same physical environment, at least initially.
- You don't need to meet the person until you are totally comfortable. Never meet anybody unless you are 99% comfortable.
- The first date or 2nd, 3rd, and 4th should be out in public.
- Let someone know where you are going.
- Ladies, I highly recommend you bring a friend or double-date!
- Do not allow the person to pick you up. Provide your own transportation
- Bring defense items - pepper spray, whistle, gps tracking device. Be careful of bringing weapons that can harm you - knife, gun, clubs...etc
- Ladies, even if the date is going well and it's the 1st date, DO NOT be persuaded to get into a car alone with him. If he is a predator, he'll get agitated and possibly upset. If this happens, then CONGRATULATIONS you may just SAVED YOUR LIFE and walk away now! A real gentleman will understand your fear and rather spend time with you than miss a party, concert or whatever. Just be sure to let him know prior to the date that you will not leave the initial meeting place with him unless your friend can come along.

Those are just a few reasons and each person will benefit differently based on their character and personality. The precautions would also relate to conventional dating practices and not just internet dates.

So what are some of the drawbacks of internet dating?

Do they smell?
Are they really writing or just cut-and-pasting?
Cameras and lighting can be manipulated to hide certain features (flaws).
The photos in the ads maybe professionally done or retouched and not be a true reflection of the person

As with the benefits, there are other downsides to internet dating that aren't listed and will vary from person to person.

So who is the best internet dating service? That's a hard question to answer because there are so many variables and there is no one best service. I say the best dating site is the one you find what you are looking for on. Luckily, most are free to join, although you will get limited functionality and features of the program. But at least you can get an idea of the types or kinds of people who have joined that particular internet dating service. There are more and more online dating services that are specific to certain groups like - people who are in the service, Christian dating, pet lovers dating, and so on. The major dating sites will have these people as well, you'll just need to sift through the members to find out if someone shares your passions or hobbies. What it boils down to is that the more people to select from, the better your chances of finding a match.

So, does internet dating really work? Yes! It did for me. I live in the US and met my wife who lived in China. We corresponded for 6 months, sent pictures to each other, and finally met when her company came to the US on a business trip. We hit it off and for the next year, she came down to visit and a couple months later I went to China to visit her and meet her parents and family. Keep in mind that it could be expensive to go this route because of airfare and those sort of things. Lastly she had another business trip scheduled and we got married during that trip.

Marrying someone from another country is not as easy at it seems. There's visa and passport issues, US Immigration forms and regulations, and much more. Most big internet dating sites will have a section to help with immigration issues. Things went fairly smoothly for us and we now have a beautiful 7 month old son.

Internet dating doesn't have to be about marriage and it will definitely differ for everyone. Maybe you just want someone to hang out with on the weekends and go to dog shows or a social outing or you want to go white water rafting but your friends aren't interested. Many people just want to make friends and not really label it as dating, but rather companionship and someone to talk to.

Other people may just want a companion because they are going on a trip to another area and would like a friend or someone to show them around at that destination.

What it boils down to is - What are your needs and wants?

Some free dating tips and dating advice I can offer based on my experience that helped me find the love of my life and also general tips are listed below.

Be honest when you communicate
Speak from the heart, don't try to be someone you're not
Sign-up for more than one online dating site
- Choose a general "big name" site.
- Search Google or Yahoo by typing "dating dogs" or "dating armed forces" or "dating Christian"...etc
- Only pay for the sites that you feel there are more than 5 profiles that match what you are looking for, remember most are free to sign up, but you will have limited capability.
- Stay away from free online dating sites, you get what you pay for. The more serious a person is, the higher amount of money they will pay to find quality people. That means if someone on a particular dating site has the highest level membership (Gold Member) then they are serious about finding someone. 2nd to the highest level (silver) may be those who are serious but don't have a lot of money to spend. Anything less are in my opinion "gamers" and just passing time. HOWEVER! In countries or areas that are poor and under developed, they simply can't afford to pay the membership fee. They are probably using a computer at school, a library, or a friends, so you'll need to be extra patient.
- Stay away from ads that don't have pictures or at least make sure they will send you a picture. Some people don't want to be seen in fear of their friends colleagues or family seeing them on the internet. That's perfectly understandable, just make sure you get REAL pictures once getting to know the person.
Send and receive many pictures, insist on casual setting pictures and not professional retouched photos
Be patient, if they live in another time zone it can be difficult to call
- If they live in another country, get a calling card or use a webcam and microphone.
- Since my wife didn't have a webcam, my phone bill averaged $1200 a month and I didn't know about calling cards.
- Call your phone company and get a plan with better international rates.
- There's more options today like VOIP (voice over IP) pc2phone that's a lot cheaper and the sound quality is much better now also.
Ladies, when you do meet, make sure it's with one or more of your friends even for the first few dates. Safety first and if the guy can't understand that, then that's a RED flag!
Ladies, purchase some books on pick-up lines, how to seduce a woman, and those sort of things. If your correspondence contains many of what you find in a book, then the person may not be sincere. If you're tired of finding losers, this is your wake-up call to find out why.
Men, buy books on how to treat a lady. Buy books on how to seduce a woman, but only use it after you know they want to be seduced by you (later in the relationship).
Be Honest! - If you're serious and want a life-long mate
- Be upfront, put EVERYTHING on the table. Too many unexpected surprises will kill the relationship.
- Don't try to be what you think the other person wants. You can't put on a show forever.
- Get a webcam so you can see and hear the real person. Sometimes you get a glimpse of their room. Is it messy? Are there naked people hung up on the wall? It can also be a lot of fun once you are closer and can be more intimate. BE CAREFUL! What you do on camera can be recorded and exposed if things don't work out.
Make a list of things you absolutely do not like or won't compromise on. For example, you dislike it when your partner drinks too much, does drugs or things like that. Don't ask these questions straight out, but have them elaborate when they had a night out with the guys/girls. Just keep a mental note to yourself.
Make a list of the key things you like that make you feel adored and desired.
- You like feeling pampered by getting breakfast in bed
- You like it when doors are opened for you
- You like it when girls pamper you
- You like it when girls make you feel special
- How does the other person perceive what making someone feel special is.
What is your definition of joy and happiness?
Be Honest! I know I keep saying that, but it's the most important thing!
If you've been burned once too many times, do a background check on the person. You can find out if they have been married, divorced, in jail, law suits against them, and things of that nature. It costs a little money, but can save you years of heartache and disappointment. Some people may feel this is an invasion of privacy or a sign of not trusting the other person. I say it's a matter of feeling secure and if the other person can't understand that, then they are hiding something or don't care about how insecure you may be feeling. Another RED flag! Online dating has evolved to where it's common place to check on people.
Have fun on your date but pay attention to
- Do they open doors for you
- Do they talk negatively about too many things.
- Are their eyes busy wandering rather than focusing on you?
- Are there too many lines or quotes from the dating books?
You may want to keep a score card or write down notes immediately after the date. Just make sure you destroy them all when you are exclusively seeing that person. Nobody wants to know they are being compared, but it's a good way to make sure the person has all the qualities that are truly important to you. To be on the safe side, never ever write down anything relating to sex. Technique can be learned if the person is willing to satisfy you. Talk about it, if they aren't interested in what turns you on, that's another RED flag. Lets face it, sex is an important part of a relationship. For some it isn't but for the majority, it is. It's also a two-way street. In order to get, you must give and if you give, you should get. It's that simple.
Is this person someone you want your family and friends to meet?
And for the last time - BE HONEST!

I hope this article has helped and you feel more secure about online dating. I endorse it 100% and am not afraid to admit that I met my wife on through an internet dating site. It makes me feel good that out of the 200 or so other people that responded to her ad... she picked me :) I firmly believe that internet dating is the most efficient way to start a relationship and meet people.

I wish you the best of luck on searching for that perfect person.

How Men Find Sexy Russian Brides

2007-04-05T08:47:00.001-07:00

Many of you may have wondered why Russian brides are so sexy and smart. The truth is only one: its their husbands that are giving them motivation to be such.

Have you ever wondered why there are so many men who have managed to find a wife who has so many indisputable virtues such as being smart, beautiful, sexy and rich?

The truth is that actually many Russian girls have started their family life out of nothing else but a desire to be part of the luxury lifestyle of the super millionaires. They are smart and intelligent but in addition they have worked hard to be well educated too.

Russia has internationally acknowledged universities such as the Moscow University or St. Petersburg Institute of Fine Mechanics and Optics. Many families have invested much in the good education of their daughters explaining to them that rich foreigners would never stay with a common woman in spite of her beauty.

Understanding that beauty is skin deep but being sexy is something one can learn and develop, young women have invested time and efforts to learn the art of innocent seduction. Usually in university Russian girls get the advantage of internship programs which allow them to travel the world and meet men on conferences or other scholar events.

If you have seen your sexy Russian bride during one of those events soon you will become convinced that sex is not just act, but state of mind and pleasure for the intellect. These ladies always support their husbands because they have been taught that family is very important and a wife's mission is to motivate the relationship.

Russian women are ready to sacrifice almost everything in order for her to prove her loyalty to you. Their good professional education makes them desired partners not only for family, but business affairs too.

Many top captains of industry are intentionally searching for wives from a country from the soviet block because they know that these smart girls are able to double their fortune. What is more challenging and sexy for businessmen than having bride with astute and clever thinking, easy-going attitude and seductive inclinations?

You might be a software engineer but she will help you become a software entrepreneur whose company might break the traditional market. Your Russian wife will make everything possible to make you believe that your choice was right and to stay behind you in difficult times.

And all of a sudden if you decide to drop everything, a typical Russian bride will help you solve your problems just in a few minutes. She may well do this by the way while making love with you and whispering a tender "davai, davai" (go on, go on) in your ear.

Like most women all around the world these ladies are looking for better possibilities for them and for their children. Wellness partially guarantees this but what is more important to them is their husband's education and character. Make your Russian bride laugh, tell her crazy romantic stories and prove that you can be good father.

International marriage is not an easy step. Things like cultural barriers or different traditions might make you confused. The good news is that in Russia, just like in America, women like erotic games. The combination of the two of you will result in everlasting physical and intellectual pleasure.

Dating - When Your Body Behaves Wrong

2007-04-03T16:56:00.001-07:00

When you are all set to go on a date, here are a few guidelines to prevent you show wrong body language that can turn your partner off.

We shall talk about general mistakes people commit on dates.

First rules is, do not display that you have got anxiety.
We shall tell you how your body will try to reveal it even if you do not want to show it.

People generally shred napkins, foolishly sit on hands , and start playing with anything they get like their cell phone.

Feeling a bit nervous on your date is quite natural. That means you have got the flow of energy. That is a good thing. You just need to learn how to manage this flow of energy.

If you are looking quite nervous, you do not have to reveal it at any cost. Be calm, take deep breath.

Once you start feeling somewhat comfortable, your fear will go away and that energy level will help you a lot.

Another important thing is, never put your finger in your mouth. Some people have the very bad habit of doing it when they get nervous.

When you feel nervous, try to feel relaxed and let her talk more. Pay attention to what she says.

This is the best part about the girls; you can sit with them without speaking. All you need to do is, listen to them, and here you have cast your magic. Believe me it works.
Try these tips next time when you go on a date

Great Date Ideas

2007-04-02T13:11:00.001-07:00

A lot of us know when together with a person (whether first date, twentieth date, engaged, or married) it is not only the company, but what you do together that keeps things interesting. A great deal of stress is taken out of 'dating' when the both of you are having fun.

Dating is supposed to be fun! No matter how old you are or how many dates you have been on, there is no reason that the next one cannot be better than the last.

Being engaged in activities and having fun, creates a relaxed environment and reduces anxiety and awkward moments on a date. Being comfortable and enjoying your surrounding creates the opportunity to enjoy your company as well.

We all know of the 'dinner and a movie' formula, but that is predictable and watching a movie does not even warrant a chance to talk to each other. Doing something novel and different will be appreciated by your date and will create a heightened sense of excitement.

Nothing is enthralling about routines; even if you and your partner have 'most-visited spots' it is okay to shake things up every once and a while, and you might find another spot that you can add to your repertoire.

The following is a list of 'different' places to go on a date. They range from public to private and active to inactive, but the difference lies in doing something out of the ordinary and that spawns fun and conversation. Aside from thinking about your hair looking great, having stellar charm, and the chemistry in the air, you need something to do. The following places and things are not ranked in any sort of order, they are there to help you generate some ideas and enjoy being with your partner.

- Take your date to a class or a lesson. There are many things out there to learn that could be interesting: an art class, dancing class, acting, pottery, etc.

- Everyone likes to laugh. A comedy club would be the place to go to enjoy a few chuckles with your date.

- Go to an art exhibit or museum. The visual stimulation will spark up some conversation and the venue presents an opportunity for you and your date to chat.

- Animals are interesting. Take your date to the zoo or aquarium and take a gander at some animals.

- Is it a nice day? Pack some food, a blanket, and candles and go have a picnic at the park or lake.

- Are you feeling lucky? Take your chances gambling at the casino to win some extra dollars along with your date's heart.

- Will there be a next date? Go to a palm reader and find out each other's fortunes. It will at least be fun if not completely scientific.

- Go see some live music. Find out what genre of music your date likes and see if any bands are playing local.

- Go for a ride. Order a limo and take a ride around the city for awhile and don't forget to stick your heads out of the moon-roof.

- Go take care of yourselves. Take your date to a spa and get a massage and facials.

- Have you ever been on a hot-air balloon? There is a first time for everything. Parachuting is also a high thrill to try out if you have never done so.

- Go to the theater or opera. Being cultured is a big turn-on for either sex.

- A sporting event can be a fun place to go. If you both are from the same area you can show your town pride together.

- Is the circus in town? How about a fair? It might seem puerile, but you are never too old to have fun!

- Go to a spa together. Getting a facial, body massage, and having your hair look great can be fun and aesthetically pleasing for you both.

- Go shopping together for a new look. Men could always use some womanly expertise on clothes and the guy can aid in giving his approval of a new, beautiful wig or other fashion accessory.

- If you own a motorcycle, going for a long ride on a nice day can be exhilarating.

- Miniature golf or chip and putt can be a good time. It is active and will provide time for conversation.

- Drive to the beach and take a walk along the shoreline.

- Go to a lake and take out a boat or canoe.

All of these events could work by themselves, but finding out about particular interests of your partner will help. Subtly get some information from them beforehand, so you can make your preparations. You could keep it safe with the dinner and movie, but if you really like the person and want to make a lasting impression, do something extra-ordinary.

Online Dating – Separating Facts from Fiction

2007-04-01T11:39:00.001-07:00

All that a relationship really needs to sustain itself is a spark of energy. Today, there are more instances of relationships breaking off at the drop of a hat. Most of the times you would just want to get into a relationship to beat the loneliness that devours your life and eats away into your happiness. As a result the relationship ends in a disaster. Gone are the days when you met someone in your office and went out for a date. The Cyber-age brings with it the new rules of dating it is popularly known as online dating.

According to Marketdate enterprises in 2004, there were approximately 90 million singles in the US and according to Jupiter research, in 2003 approximately 3 million people paid to be listed in online dating services directories. According to other statistics, there are almost 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women. So the gender ratio favors the men more than women but this doesn't really hold true for all the states. Washington D.C tops the chart with 70% singles, while New York is a close second with 50% singles or unmarried population. Hence online dating offers an option where men and women can meet on cyberspace and discuss each others likings and disliking and in a way get to know each other better.

The only problem with online dating is that you really don't know if the person on the other side is lying or not because you can only believe what they say or what they have put in their profiles. It almost like walking blind and there are times when people do fall into the trap but then that's the risk, which you will have to take. The good part is that you can go through thousands of profiles and check for the compatibility. There are times when you are looking for someone who listens to Jazz while you listen to Rock but that doesn't mean you are incompatible. You need to talk to the person to find out if you guys have anything in common or not. You may be surprised to find that both of you love the same food, movie and even drive the same car. That's a good start!

You can find true love anywhere and that includes online dating portals too. Online dating offers a better ratio as concerned to traditional dating because you can talk to multiple people at the same time. Everyone who puts his/her profile in online dating websites knows that their potential match is not restricted to just one. You can talk to and meet up with a few people and take it from there. It is always recommended to be cautious and you should take one step at a time. Know the person first and then take the next step. Relationship is not meant for the foolhardy, it is a bond that will last for the lifetime. So whatever decisions you make, they need to be well thought over. Online dating will offer you the platform, but how you need to take advantage of the opportunity will be your call.

Finding Your Ideal Mate(7) - Myths About Internet Dating

2007-03-30T14:43:00.001-07:00

There is a myth that Internet dating is primarily for weirdos, losers or frustrated housewives. But the Internet is likely to be the the ultimate dating vehicle of the future. Currently, it merely reflects the diversity of life in sharper relief. You will find the losers and sexists, the shy ones and the brash ones, mingling easily with the high flyers, hedonists and the social butterflies. The trick is to spot your required type as early as possible. Lots of successful people who don't have time for trusting to 'luck' use Internet services (8 million in the UK, and counting, with Direct Dating leading the pack and Match.com for the international market). It is immediate, personal, intimate, and can be used in the privacy of one's home without even moving an inch or anyone knowing at all what you are doing.

When I first registered five years ago, I was able to speak to some great professionals like me who shared my aim. I found nothing sinister or strange about it. It was rather odd, at first, telling friends that my first lover and I met through an Internet dating site, but I reminded myself that the site is like any other dating agency. You pay your money, advertise what you seek, and wait for the hoped-for results which might take a long while to bear fruit. As a woman said, she thought that with the thousands of people to choose from on the Internet, she would have her kind of man 'in no time'. Months later, she was still bemoaning the fact that he had not yet materialised. So, as anywhere else, contact really depends on the quality, not the quantity, of the potential suitors available.

Trust Your Common Sense

The Internet is proving to be one of the safest places for adults to meet because so much time is spent on the introductions, it is not too difficult to spot someone who is telling porkies! The fact that people have to give their credit card and address details to Internet Service Providers also means that most people can be traced in case of any misdemeanour. As long as you are careful and trust your common sense about meeting any stranger, it should be fine. Always email or text first, asking as many questions as you can to gauge history, experience and aspirations, then speak on the phone before agreeing to meet, taking their number first, if you have any apprehension. Seeing a photo first is also a must, but do remember that it is one-dimensional and depends on one's mood when it's taken!

If you are not sure about a meeting, just say you'd like to think about it a bit longer and leave it at that. If the person seems too needy or they pressure you to meet against your instincts, then don't. You have to want to meet that person too for it to work. The great thing about Internet dating is that, by the time you meet, all the preliminaries will have been put in place leaving only the physical side to match, which gives a distinct edge over meeting someone in person from scratch. Additionally, if you are not too impressed at the outset, they can be dismissed at the touch of a button!

5 Erogenous Zones You Must Stimulate To Rock Her World

2007-03-29T13:39:00.001-07:00

Do you know the secret to improving your sex life?

Well to be honest incredible sex starts with one thing...

Pleasing YOUR woman!

If you can rock her world in the bedroom, then you'll have taken that crucial first step towards having a great sex life.

Now there are a number of methods to pleasing women. But an incredible lover knows that turning her on before sex is the key to bringing her to the big "O"!

So how do you do this?

Well it's simple...

You have to locate and stimulate her erogenous zones.

As you probably know there are certain areas on a woman which are sources of great pleasure. If you know how to concentrate on these areas, you'll become the best lover she's ever had.

Now you might think a woman's only erogenous zone is her breasts, but that's not the case. Actually there are many areas you can stimulate which will get her really excited.

To help you out here are five areas which you can get started with:

1- Her Neck

A woman's neck is THE most sensitive part of her body. To really get her going, you must learn to correctly caress and kiss this area. When doing this, you should run your fingers along her neck and kiss it lightly. Another technique which works incredibly well is to lightly nibble on her neck.

2- Her Hands

As you probably know, a woman's sense of touch is a constant source of pleasure. So if you know how to kiss her hands and caress them, you can quickly build excitement.

What you want to do is run your hands along her palms, play with her fingers, and give her a sensual hand massage. By focusing on her hands you'll be much different from other guys. You'll stand out in a positive way.

3- Her Ears

Another really sensitive area is a woman's ear. If you really want to drive her nuts, you should lick or nibble on her ears.

But I have a quick warning...

Each woman has different sensitivity areas when it comes to their ears. Some love having this area stimulated while others hate it. This means you should be cautious, and start slowly. Then observe her reactions and work from there.

4- Her Feet

A good foot massage can melt a woman like butter. If you can learn how to touch and caress and her feet without tickling her, she'll be really turned on.

What you want to do is gently touch and knead her feet. Then judge her reactions and progress from there.

5- Her Inner Thighs

A woman's inner thighs are incredibly sensitive. Since this is area is close to her "promised land"', you must earn her trust before trying to caress this area.

Simply stroke (or even kiss) this area, then watch her positive reaction. I bet she'll love it!

A woman's erogenous zones are a constant source of pleasure and excitement. If you can properly stimulate these sensitive areas, you'll have her going crazy with passion.

Simply follow sexual tips I provided in this article, and you'll become a provider of incredible sex!

Top 10 Sex Myths - Where's Your Head At?

2007-03-22T14:47:00.001-07:00

Very few things that happen during sex are a disaster unless you choose to see them that way. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

The Journal of Marital and Sexual Therapy recently reported that 1 in 4 of us are unhappy with our sex lives. Problems with sex arise out of a combination of factors: for example lack of confidence, communication difficulties, inexperience and lack of skill, unrealistic expectations, refusal to take responsibility for our own sexual pleasure and

What many people are not aware of is that there are a vast amount of beliefs and opinions about sex that we all have and take with us into every sexual encounter. For the most part, we are not aware of out particular biases and expectations yet these unexamined yet rigid convictions have the potential to ruin any sexual experience.

1. SEXUAL FANTASY IS A BARRIER TO INTIMACY

Many people prevent themselves from having the best sexual experiences that they could have because they believe that fantasy should be restricted to masturbation and should not be an aspect of partner sex. This could not be further from the truth. Choosing whether and when to share a private desire with your partner can be exhilarating. Yet sharing is not the point of fantasy. Fantasy is all about learning what turns you on and exploring your potential to express your sexuality. It is not unusual for women to have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner because of insufficient mental arousal. She probably knows how to orgasm through masturbation but feels too guilty to enter the realm of fantasy when with her partner. The ability to be intimate is enhanced by self-knowledge and confidence and the uninhibited expression and communication of fantasy can bring people closer together.

2. PENETRATION IS THE GOAL OF SEX

Concentrating on the destination rather than the journey is responsible for the burden placed upon men to 'perform' on demand but is only a part of a vastly wider area of sexual possibilities. Penetration is often made the centre of sex, yet oral and manual sexual activity is likely to be at least as – and frequently more – satisfying for a woman. When penetration is seen as the 'goal' of sex, then foreplay becomes something that leads to proper sex, rather than being a pleasure in and of itself. When sex is reduced to being a rush towards the man's ejaculation through penetration, then it is no wonder that so many people find sex to be disinteresting and boring. It is more that the definitions of sex in our culture are shallow and trivialise the majesty and mystery that sex can be.

3 MORE SEX MEANS BETTER SEX

Quality versus quantity of sex is likely to be different at varying times. It is unrealistic to expect that sex is always going to be mind-blowing and require a heavy investment of time and effort. Variety is the key. Getting stuck in a predictable routine that both partners play out means that sometimes both quantity and quality suffer. We are surrounded by misinformation about sex. Surveys that tell us how often everybody is having sex (or more realistically, how often people say they are having sex) become methods of establishing a spurious norm of sexual activity that you may try to replicate.

Quality can suffer if you are too intent upon upping the quantity of your sexual experiences. Many people feel under pressure to have a lot of sex but this does not mean that they are going to be a better lover or have better sex. It merely means that they have more sex. Compulsive sexual behaviour can be detrimental to your sense of who you are, what you have to offer, your work, relationships. It can mask low quality sex. Comparing yourself with your perceptions of other people's sex lives is always a destructive mode to get into. The only thing that needs matter to you is your own sexual happiness.

4 I AM JUST NOT A VERY SEXUAL PERSON

Loss of sexual desire is a common concern for many people and it is an issue that has no single cause. When you have persistent thoughts about feeling unworthy, unloved, unwanted and of not deserving of great sex, not attractive enough, you may manage to convince yourself that you just are not very sexual. Everybody has sexual energy and the capacity to express and enjoy a fulfilling sex life. What can happen is that your negative thoughts about yourself mean that you lose touch with the sexual part of yourself and start to feel disconnected from your sexuality. Identifying the internal self-talk that is damaging your sexual expression enables you to begin to re-connect with your sexuality and believe that you are no different to anyone else: you deserve and are entitled to sexual happiness. You will need to change the way you think about yourself or your label will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are looking for evidence to back up a belief, you can always find it. It doesn't make it right or true. It just means you see what you want to see, whatever helps you feel comfortable – even this is only the comfort to be found in what is safe, unchallenging and familiar.

5 BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HAVE BETTER SEX.

Sex begins in the brain and sexual attraction and energy feed off of factors other than physical appearance. When you make love, you are so much more than your body. This belief feeds off the comparisons you make between yourself and other people. Beautiful people do not have more successful relationships, nor do they have better sex. Sexual fulfilment is about self-acceptance. The way you feel about your body is apparent to other people and can make sex a joy or a disaster. The danger with this belief is that you start to play the game of 'If only'. If only I was thinner, more attractive, more sexually adventurous, then I can have the sex life that I want. When you make your dreams dependent upon some other change, then you reduce the chances that you will find the courage to make any changes at all. There is nothing to be gained by waiting. You need to start taking action to change now.

Your body image and the things you tell yourself about your sexual desirability are important factors that influence your sexual happiness. Whilst valuing your own desirability makes quality sex more achievable, loving your looks alone is no guarantee of a deeper and more solid sense of self-esteem. You can feel desirable but empty of desire. Self-acceptance and learning to love yourself extends beyond appreciating your attractiveness and incorporates an acknowledgement and respect of who you are, what you stand for and what you contribute to the world and other people.

6 THE CHILDREN MUST COME FIRST.

Many couples experience a decrease in their sexual satisfaction after they have had children. Believing that the child's needs should always come first can mean that a total lack of privacy, time, energy and commitment makes sex a distant memory. Having children is a stressful time for every couple and the relationship dynamic will change. Balancing affection and attention between your children and your partner is a challenge that needs to be met head on.

Couples with young children need time alone to focus on each other's needs and desires. They need to listen and respect each other and acknowledge their sexual situation, whatever it is. Being a mother or a father does not mean that you have to give up being yourself. It is important to set boundaries with your young children so that they know and accept that their parents expect privacy sometimes and are not always prepared to rush to fulfil their child's needs on demand.

7. SEX IS NO LAUGHING MATTER

Playing, being silly and laughing are all great ways to deepen intimacy and enhance sexual pleasure. Some people believe that sex must be, can only be, 'romantic' and so attach a great deal of earnestness to the experience. It is possible to learn the benefits of lightening up. When sex cannot incorporate elements of play, it is often an indication of an impoverished emotional connection. Usually, it is not difficult to bring the fun back into sex, even if it feels a little forced at first.

When sex is viewed as about achievement and competition, then lightness and frivolity are likely to be absent. Keep in mind that sex is about whatever works for you and keeping play and foolishness a part of sex can help to prevent sex becoming a stale and predictable.

8. SEX MUST BE A GENEROUS ACT; I WANT TO SATISFY HIS/HER SEXUAL NEEDS

Great sex is both generous and selfish. Most people do get turned on by their partner's arousal and this is fantastic but if you put all your energy into finding out what she/he wants, what about you? Who is giving you what you need? Being prepared to get your own needs met is an indication that you are willing to take care of yourself, rather than relying upon other people to meet your unmet and perhaps unvoiced desires.

Sexual communication is all about clarity, saying what you think and feel. It is also about setting boundaries, discussing what you do not like and both parties must be able to say no and for this to be accepted. If you find yourself having sex because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, think about what you are doing. Honour yourself and what you want and share any feelings of ambivalence. This means that intimacy levels can remain high and misunderstandings are not given opportunity to distort your relationship with your partner.

9. PREMATURE EJACULATION IS A SIGN OF A POOR LOVER.

Being unable to control ejaculation is a worry for many men. Most practically, even if you have had an orgasm, don't leave your partner high and dry. Often feelings of shame, failure and anticipating your partner's disappointment mean that his orgasm means the end of sex. It comes back to widening your perception of what sex can be and not being enslaved to ideas about sexuality that are widely circulated in our culture.

In terms of his sexual pleasure, learning how to manage his anxiety about performance and being able to talk to a partner are the most effective ways of building sexual confidence. Some of the informal strategies that are popular in our culture do more harm than good. For example, trying to delay ejaculation by distracting yourself with non-sexual thoughts will do little to enhance your sexual pleasure.
This strategy is more likely to create a feeling of disassociation for him from his own body and the situation that he is in. It may help him to delay ejaculation (although this is debatable) but consciously focusing away from your physical pleasure is unlikely to facilitate peak sexual experiences. Being emotionally present during sex is crucial to sexual awareness and intimacy. It is a far more successful strategy for a man to learn about how to control his ejaculation than to continue to consciously create emotional distance from his partner and the sexual experience.

Tantric sex exploration is a great way to learn the capacity to control male ejaculation as it teaches techniques that enable him to distinguish between orgasm and ejaculation. Contrary to popular belief they are not the same thing!

10. AN ERECTION IS ONE AND THE SAME THING AS SEXUAL AROUSAL

This is a difficult idea for many people to get their heads around. Sexual arousal happens within a context that is emotional, physiological and visual. If you think about the nature of desire and attraction, recognise that it is not always a purely physical response; it involves idiosyncratic and sometimes unpredictable preferences. Sexual desire just does not exist without a sexual context. It is confirmed/reduced by the accompanying emotions and thoughts that you focus on at any time. Men have erections of varying hardness according to how they are thinking and feeling at the time. An erection does not necessarily mean that a man is fully, or even a little, aroused. He may become erect without feeling particularly sexy.

For men who are insecure about maintaining their erection, confusing erection with arousal means that they often rush into sex before they are completely ready. If you habitually move from low arousal into sex, desire may well start to decrease. Part of the reason for this is that many men feel that they may lose an erection if they don't immediately act upon its presence. Having sex in an atmosphere of fear and insecurity is not going to give you the best sexual experiences that you are capable of having.

There are many things that men can do to learn to have more confidence and control over their erections and ejaculatory control instead of ignoring his insecurity and depriving himself of great sexual experiences. Whenever your decisions and actions are motivated by fear and uncertainty, you are selling yourself short in some way or another. Many men are not sure about where their pleasure comes from during sex and experience a lack of understanding about their own bodies that means that they are unaware that their whole body can become aroused. If you are committed to gaining ore control over your ejaculatory response, invest in some of the many interesting and informative guides that enable men to delay ejaculation and become more connected with their sexual potential.

There are many other myths that run people's sex lives. Whenever you find yourself thinking 'he / she / I should / must / ought . . . ', you are probably listening to the demands of a sex myth that is taking you away from what you want and think and encouraging you to follow what other people want and feel. When are you going to listen to and follow you own rules?

Recognise that the thoughts that you have affect the sex life that you create. Know that you can choose to change the way you think and learn self-acceptance, respect for your sexual self and experience ease, excitement and power in the ways you choose to express yourself sexually.

Relationship Tips - Making The Effort

2007-03-21T12:42:00.001-07:00

Trying to figure out how to put the romance back into your relationship? Want to feel more connected to your partner? The following tips can help you get more out of the relationship you have now.

Tip #1: Keeping in Touch with your Partner

You tune up your car. You go in for dental checkups and annual doctor appointments. Have you ever considered how important it is to have a "check up" for your relationship? What is the purpose of a check-up? To ensure that your health/teeth/car are all in working order!! Why would your relationship be any different? Think about it. Your needs constantly change, your partner's needs change too. Logically, your relationship has to change over time as well. It is important to communicate these changes to your partner; otherwise, your partner is making the attempt to meet past needs that may not have a purpose in your current life (and vice versa). The more you "check in" with your partner, the greater opportunity you have to circumvent misunderstandings and maintain a healthy relationship.

Tip #2: What Goes Around Comes Around

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Givers gain?" This is the motto to an international networking group, BNI. The belief is that if you give unconditionally without worrying about what you'll get out of it, that your giving will be returned tenfold. How often have you thought about withholding yourself from your partner because they haven't reciprocated in a while or because you've tried in the past to no avail. Think about this....if you gave to your partner unconditionally, that they will be more willing to return the giving??

I'm not talking about giving so much of yourself that you end up becoming resentful. I'm talking about the little things that can go a long way. Try it and see how your partner responds!

Tip #3: Go Beyond the Holidays

During the holidays, it is fascinating how everyone goes all out to demonstrate their love for one another: chocolates, cards, candy, flowers, jewelry.......It's all nice, but love needs to be demonstrated to your partner 365 days a year (366 if it's Leap Year!). Love can be expressed in many ways. How do you express love to your partner? Is it the type of love your partner needs? Some people like gifts, other like hugs, and even others prefer help with the daily routines.

An open discussion between you and your partner can uncover if the type of love you give is actually what your partner needs and vice versa. Understanding how your partner appreciates you will allow you to respond appropriately, resulting in an increased connection and less feeling unappreciated. Remember love is..........year around! And it gives so much in return!!!

Tip #4: Keep in Touch!

This time is full of responsibilities: children, bills, finances, work, health.....but where does your relationship fit in?

You need to give your relationship equal time to be successful. It's easy to say, "We'll do that tomorrow," but if "tomorrow" becomes "tomorrow" again and again, eventually, you may wake up one morning and realize it's been weeks or even months since you've made time for your partner.

You and your partner made time for each other when you first met. How did you make time for each other then? You went on dates. You would agree on a time to go out, be picked up at the door and spend an evening together. You did it once! You can do it again! Start by setting at least one night a month for the two of you to go out. Get a babysitter (if needed), make reservations and enjoy the time to reconnect.

Remember, the bills, finances and work responsibilities will be there the next day. One day the children will be off and having families of their own. Your health may not be what it is today. For all these reasons, today is the day to make a strong connection with your partner....and keep it nourished and healthy.

Tip #5: Claim Your Space

Nurturing your relationship and quality time is important. However, it is equally important to nurture yourself as individuals. Take time occasionally for yourself away from your spouse. Go out with friends...get involved with a hobby...whatever interests you have, foster them. It gives you a chance to regain your identity separate from your relationship, and provides you opportunities to share more with your partner at the same time.

Do You Have The Emotional Value Men - Women Are Looking For

2007-03-20T08:49:00.001-07:00

Having emotional value is an incredibly powerful currency when it comes to dating (and relationships).

But what does emotional value mean?

Your emotional value is the degree that a man or woman perceives you as potentially contributing to their happiness. It is the most important filter by which both men and women determine how to spend their time and energy.

When a man or woman agrees to go out on a date with you, he or she is (sub-consciously) tuned to look for a type of energy or "mood of life" that tells him or her that you have the ability to bring new and uplifting emotional experiences into his or her life and that merging his or her life with you is more interesting and worthwhile than it would be if he or she were single and alone. The higher your emotional value the more likely that a man or woman will want to spend more time with you and explore the possibilities of a relationship. If you are perceived as having very low emotional value (or are an emotional risk) you end up not being worth the effort.

Unfortunately most of the time, many men and women are too preoccupied with the superficial "feelings' of physical attraction that they fail to recognize the more elementary, more significant inner process. You think you have the whole physical, mental and financial package and hit it off great but you get rejected for reasons "you don't understand". And if you ask him or her if there is something about you that they are unsure of, he/she'll probably tell you everything about you is okay but you suspect that is not true because he or she is stalling.

If you know what your emotional value to the opposite sex is, you can figure out how to "help" them "see" why and how life with you is more interesting and worthwhile than life without you. This lays a foundation for emotional connection and intimacy.

But if you don't know what your emotional value is, dating (and relationships) is a gamble – a lot of trying this and trying that. Very often you'll make an emotional investment without knowing where the other person is coming from or where you fit into in their plan (mistake). You either find yourself being put on eternal "hold" or getting hurt.

You might also want to read: Do You Have The Sexual Value Men/Women Are Looking For? Article can be found on my website under "articles" button.

Making Pheromones Perfume Work for You

2007-03-18T15:40:00.001-07:00

We all enjoy different types of scents and associate them with a variety of things. For example, we often link lavender to relaxation. Many use pheromones perfume to attract members of the opposite sex. Perfume is extracted from plants and flowers and it triggers different senses to induce a mood or state of mind. Pheromones added to the perfume adds that little zest to perfume that could further enhance your sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Insects, animals and plants mostly use pheromones to attract the opposite sex and this is not very different in human beings. People use perfume in order to smell better, be liked or be attractive for their partner. We often see commercials where a perfume or new scent is being marketed as irresistible to the opposite sex when used; technically however, it is the perfume pheromones that make it happen.

Pheromones are chemicals released by a living organism to attract the opposite sex. You will find that some perfume pheromones are stronger then the others. You may like a perfume on your partner better than the other, it is purely a matter of preference in smell.

Some people are allergic to strong perfume, especially if they have allergies to flower pollen. If your partner is allergic to perfume you can still get perfume pheromones to make yourself attractive by using scented lotion in a scent that he or she enjoys.

Lotions carry only small amounts of perfume in them. Since one usually applies it right after showering it enters the pores while they are still open and therefore the scent will stay on longer even if it does not smell stronger.

Many people have trouble holding a perfume on their skin for long periods of time and half way through an evening they need to refresh the scent. You can do so in two ways; either carry a purse size pheromone perfume or use layering to hold down a scent. Layering is done by applying the perfume lotion first on the body as soon as you step out of the shower and then spray the perfume on the pulse points; this should last you for at least eight hours. Also choose perfume and not eau de toilette because the former is stronger and longer lasting. Enjoy the perfume pheromones!

Get Over Him Already

2007-03-16T15:11:00.001-07:00

Sure it stings, ladies. Did he cheat on you? Say he wasn't ready for a committed relationship? Move out? Now that it's over, it's healthy to be a bit, well, bitter. How you handle your heartbreak (and anger) is a good indication of how you'll approach your next relationship. Trusting and caring or resentful and suspicious. Relax, most guys are not out to ruin you. Here are seven unique ways to soothe your hurt without hurting him.

Write his name on your toilet paper lots of times. His first and last. And then use it.

Delete his name and number from your cell. It's a good way to purge him from your life.

One clever gym had a Valentine's Day Sucks workout; tape his pic on a punching bag and have at it.

Bonfire. Unless it's expensive jewelry, get rid of all the "gifts" he gave you. Have water handy. Remember that "Friends" episode? Give the first responders a day off.

New circles. It's likely you'll run into to him unless he's moved out of town. So reduce that risk and join a new gym, find a new club or take up a new hobby that will remove you from his favorite haunts.

Get out. A weekend away may be the balm, as staying home may just bring up bad memories. Travel is also the best way to meet new people. A cruise to nowhere may be a cost-effective way to enjoy yourself without emptying your wallet.

A liberty party. Throw yourself a girls-only "I'm free" soirée. Have fun now that you're single again. Enjoy the freedom with friends. Party game suggestion: The first person who says, "I told you so" has to clean your bathroom.

The best way to get over someone is to give yourself some time. Remember that the hurt isn't forever. And any change worth making, is worth a little pain.

Internet Dating – Quick Success Comes With Trust

2007-03-15T08:12:00.001-07:00

If you had a sister who was online dating, what would you tell her?

You'd warn her, "Every guy is a stalker! A perv! A player! An axe-murderer!"

In fact, you have to begin by allowing women a good measure of distrust at the start. She doesn't know you and, frankly, she shouldn't want to go out with you until you've proven yourself trustworthy.

The onus is on you.

Here's how it goes: Trust comes first. Then relaxation.

Only then, will she reveal and release her passion safely.

Now, the biggest mistake most men make is trying to be her friend. To "nice" her into liking you. That is NOT what I am talking about.

You want her to trust you, but as an edgy lover, not as a pal. You need to be exciting but trustworthy.

It's a delicate line to walk. You have to send a series of key "trust-building signifiers." Here are two simple techniques among several that I have tested.

Trust Creating Technique #1: Explore Common Ground

The best way is to read her profile carefully, study how she IMs or emails you, then find one key piece of common ground. And lead with it. Seems obvious, but there is the smart way and the dumb way.

Did you go to the same school? If you both are involved with the same or similar organization – great. Church or charity, tennis, animal rescue. If she has a picture of a dog with her, then tell her a story about your dog, or your childhood dog, or your favorite dog movie.

The key here is don't be a dork and just say "I love dogs too!" Don't SAY it, . . SHOW your love of dogs. . Describe it. Get in some touch words, or sound words. How do you feel when you're with the mutt? Tell a story, paint a picture.

Another common mistake men is that they overdo this technique.

You don't want to sound like you are desperately trying to convince her you are safe. You just want to blend that commonality into the overall electrifying, contrasting signifier flow you are sending her way.

Trust Creating Technique #2: Admit That You Are Both "Adorably Pathetic"

Get above the conversation. Show that you have some altitude and some perspective on how man/woman dynamic go. Tell her you think she is "adorably pathetic."

That means you expect her to be female, think like a female, write like a female, behave like a female – but you will adore her for it. Because she's being just what she's supposed to be.

A girl.

Create trust by adoring her for those foreign girly things about her.

Check among the music she likes, find the sweetest, most "chick" one – especially the Dave Matthews Band. Bust on her for being such a girl for liking it, but throw in that dash of adoration for her pathetic taste.

By the way, you should notch up your advantage. Download Dave's greatest hits and know the songs she loves so that when she brings them up, you are strangely well informed. Trust. Commonality. Instant rapport.

Hold this one in reserve. Unleash your knowledge later. How come you know so much about the music you made fun of? Suddenly you are mysterious. Knowing. This is good. You want to be full of surprises.

If its really girly music, like Damien Rice or John Mayer, you can say you don't like to admit it, but that every so often, you take a break from Radiohead or Metallica and balance yourself out with a dose of Taylor.

Then suggest that this is music you might listen to with someone you care about under the covers on a rainy Sunday morning (paint this kind of picture!).

Build trust by conveying that you like women for being women, even if their tastes are adorably pathetic. We're not supposed to "get" their tastes. But how and masculine, secure and trustworthy to be cool with the difference.

Now she can express herself in the safety of your strong, tolerant, fun and wise container.

NLP Techniques - How Do You Perform Them?

2007-01-09T02:22:00.000-08:00

By Dane Bergen

NLP therapy is of a form of psychotherapy which draws on NLP techniques. Psychotherapists trained in these NLP techniques, are also trained in several other areas like cognitive therapy, and will draw from this as required. People come to these psychotherapists to change or ‘fix’ some area of their lives and the therapists use an NLP technique or several techniques to help them modify their internal language, so that they can reprogram the patient with more useful and productive internal motives.

The meta-model NLP technique is a set of specifying questions or language patterns designed to challenge and expand them limits to a person’s model of the world. This NLP technique is based on detecting the distortions, deletions and generalizations in the patient’s language. The NLP technique endeavors to pinpoint the reasons why something is bad in the patient, and then to change that meaning.

For example an NLP technique for a person with post traumatic stress disorder – the person might be saying something like ‘why did this happen to me?’. It is the psychotherapists job to find out what the patient’s meaning of ‘this’ is, and why it is so toxic to their mental state at the present time, then to the employ the NLP technique to alter the meaning of the event so that it is something more logical and manageable to the patient. In the patients mind, they might think that they caused the death of a loved one because they told them to go and get milk from the supermarket, and the person died in a car accident on the way there. This type of thinking is highly toxic and using the NLP technique the therapist should attempt to change it to something like – your husband died in a car accident which was in no way your fault, you can’t beat fate.

This NLP technique is highly valuable to any psychotherapist, but can also be beneficial to everyone who is interested in helping others or themselves. This is not the only NLP technique out there, many others do exist, and they are as valuable, of not more that this NLP technique. If you would like to learn more about any NLP technique then try this site, it helped me a lot. -

University Psychology Major
Extensive research in hypnosis and keen passion for the subject
Also skilled in many personal development technologies such as NLP

To learn more about an NLP technique plus everything else about hypnosis, visit Hypnotism Secrets

The immigration tale of the senator's wife

2006-12-27T04:44:00.000-08:00

By Maria Elena Salinas

All her life, Sascha Herrera wanted to be a dancer. She traveled to the United States from her native Colombia in hopes of reaching her goal and also mending a broken heart. When she arrived in Atlanta, she got more than she bargained for. Not only did she get to dance in a special holiday performance, but she found love in the process, married Georgia state Sen. Curt Thompson and lived happily ever after.

That is, until she got a deportation notice from the Department of Homeland Security.

Her immigration story is not uncommon. She arrived on a tourist visa for six months and contacted a notary public to help her get an extension. The notary was supposed to be an immigration expert. She never doubted his authority, since in Latin America notaries have almost the same powers as attorneys.

It worked. So far, so good. But when Herrera tried to get a second extension so she could stay in the country to study English, she started running into problems. Her options were limited. The notary suggested that she apply for political asylum, but she was not convinced. So she did what many immigrants in her situation do: nothing.

Herrera lived in legal limbo until she decided to apply for a student visa. It was under these conditions that Sen. Thompson met the love of his life. He was swept off his feet watching the Colombian beauty in her dance performance last December. They were married four months later.

The shocker came when, in late November, officers from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement unit came knocking on their door.

"Where is your wife?" they asked Thompson. Herrera had violated two golden rules of immigration that she apparently was unaware of.

It turns out that the notary she had contacted years before had gone ahead and sent an application for political asylum on her behalf.

Since she had applied for a student visa months before, it raised a red flag with authorities. Immigration laws do not allow people to have two separate petitions at the same time.

On the asylum case, she was given a date to appear before a judge to review her request, but she never showed up. She claims she had no knowledge of the court appearance because she had not authorized the notary to apply for her in the first place, and that the notice to appear went to his office and not her house. Her failure to appear prompted the order of deportation.

This is where similarities to the cases of other immigrants stop.

Any other person in her situation would either be deported or go into hiding. Herrera confronted her situation and — accompanied by her husband — brought her case to a judge. Her deportation order was temporarily put on hold, pending an investigation.

In most cases, immigrants with a deportation order don't have the option of going before a judge to prevent it from taking place. The deportation is automatic. It does not matter what the personal circumstances of the immigrant are. At times, immigrants are deported without a farewell to their families, even if their family members are U.S. citizens.

Herrera had probably violated the rules when she was put on the list of undesirables, but she had not committed a crime. She just tried — through legal means — to stay in the country she came to know and love to start a new life. Sen. Thompson is using his wife's story to push for a more humane immigration reform. Being married to an influential politician didn't solve Herrera's problem, but it did help get the judge's attention and get her a second chance at love and life.

Maria Elena Salinas is anchor of "Noticiero Univision." Her e-mail address is msalinas@univision.net.

Bring Your Conversation To Life With AIM Buddy Icons

2006-12-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

By Daniel Wesley

By buddy icon we mean an image, a symbol or a mere expression. Buddy Icons are those images or signs or expressions, which the users of AOL Instant Messenger use to convey a message in a different way. Now you may think why in a different way. Well, when you chat with someone online you type the message on the keyboard and the same appears on the screen in the form of text. In case of buddy icons, you can convey a message in a more stylish and interesting way by sending an animated or non-animated image or expression. To make use of buddy icons, you have to download them from websites, which offers these icons for downloading. The buddy icons used in AOL Instant Messenger are very well liked.

Creating a buddy icon is not an easy thing and as such, the buddy icons creators take a lot of care in creating these icons and they need to have the required skill and patience for this purpose. These AIM Buddy Icons creators are always working to make their icons better and superior than their competitors so that they can reach or retain the number one position as the AIM Buddy Icons creator. Different people download and make use of these icons for various purposes depending on their individual needs. Did you know that everyday the icons creators are creating more and more icons? Well, it is true. The reason behind the continuous creation is to provide various new and interesting icons to the users. Everyone wants to make use of AIM Buddy Icons because they are a novel, a popular and a fun way to convey a message to your friends. In fact, an increasing number of people in the entire world are downloading the AIM Buddy Icons everyday minute of the day. They are very popular and also very much in demand.

There are a number of websites that offers you AIM Buddy Icons. All you need to do is download them. However, there are few websites, which requires you to pay a certain amount before you download the icons. On the other hand, there are also certain websites from which you can download them for free. The AIM Buddy Icons can be of various kinds like, love buddy icons, Christmas buddy icons, birthday buddy icons, and funny buddy icons. The list of the types of buddy icons available is huge and endless. Usually, the website that offers you these icons will require you to download before using them. Now you must be thinking that the downloading these icons may be a very complicated task but let me assure you that it is a very simple and easy job. After downloading the icons, you will be able to use it in a few seconds. Doesn’t it sound perfect? It is! Now you can make use of the AIM Buddy Icons and have a fun and exciting conversation online with your friends.

AIM Icons are those images, signs or expressions for users of AIM.

China Life seeks mainland listing

2006-12-13T03:26:00.000-08:00

By Dune Lawrence

China Life Insurance, the biggest life insurer in the country, said Tuesday that it would seek to list in Shanghai in a $3.61 billion initial offering to tap the surging mainland Chinese stock markets.

China Life, now listed in Hong Kong, did not specify a price range or when it intends to sell up to 1.5 billion yuan-denominated shares on the Shanghai Stock Exchange, according to a statement on the Web site of the China Securities Regulatory Commission. The regulator intends to start reviewing the request Friday.

"It just enlarges their capital base," said Tat Auyeung, a fund manager at Apex Capital Management in Hong Kong. "The A-share market is a very good way for them to raise money," he said referring to yuan-denominated share listed on the mainland.

The Chinese securities regulator last week published new rules governing initial public offerings by insurers, paving the way for China Life to raise money on the mainland stock market, which has more than doubled in size to almost $806 billion this year.

The insurer has increased its investments in mainland companies. Last week, it announced that it was buying a 32 percent stake in China Southern Power for $4.5 billion.

The Chinese stock market capitalization has more than doubled this year to $806 billion as the government has encouraged the biggest Chinese companies to sell shares, reviving investor demand after a four-year slump. Ping An Insurance and Bank of Communications are among the Hong Kong-traded companies that plan to seek mainland listings next year.

"The trend for Hong Kong-listed companies to sell shares on the domestic stock markets is only going to get bigger," said Phillip Chan, research director at Shenyin Wanguo Securities in Hong Kong. "The A-share markets are so liquid now."

China has pushed companies including Industrial & Commercial Bank of China and Bank of China to sell shares in Shanghai as well as Hong Kong to help develop the mainland capital markets, improve corporate governance and increase investor choice. The nation lifted a 12-month ban on share sales in May.

Seven Hong Kong-listed companies including PetroChina, the largest Chinese oil company, may raise a combined 105 billion yuan, or $13 billion, in the coming months, Chan said.

The mainland stock markets rank 13th in the world, while its economy ranks fourth.

The Shanghai Composite index has risen 89 percent this year, while the Shenzhen Composite index, which tracks the smaller of the two mainland stock markets, has gained 81 percent. The Shanghai index slumped 44 percent from 2001 through the end of 2005.

The stock markets in mainland China have overtaken South Korea, Taiwan and India by capitalization this year, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Shares of Industrial & Commercial Bank, the world's fourth-largest by market value, have risen 35 percent since they started trading in Shanghai on Oct. 26, for a capitalization of $180 billion.

China Life appointed China Galaxy Securities and China International Capital to arrange its offering of A- shares, according to a statement on the Web site of the China Securities Regulatory Commission.

China Life shares rose 1.6 percent to 19.02 Hong Kong dollars at the close of trading Tuesday. The stock has almost tripled this year.

The Chinese insurance market grew 14 percent to 430.9 billion yuan in premium income in the first nine months of 2006 from last year. China Life's premium income rose 18 percent in the first 10 months to 160 billion yuan, it said Nov. 17.

Ping An Insurance, the second- largest Chinese insurer, may sell as many as 1.15 billion new shares in Shanghai next year, the company, which is based in Shenzhen, said in September.

Bank of Communications, the fifth- largest Chinese bank, said last month it may sell as many at 4.5 billion shares in China next year.

Hulk's girl slams critics

2006-12-05T04:12:00.000-08:00

JAMES BISSON

CANADIAN PRESS

Music critics have delivered a super-sized body slam to Brooke Hogan, but like her famous father, the blond bombshell isn't letting the negativity get to her.

"I'm a hard-head," Hogan said. "I don't really let anything get in my way. I'm the kind of person who wants to fight back and get back up in their face, which I can't do. So I let it roll off my shoulders and move on."

Hogan, the daughter of WWE legend Hulk Hogan, was in Toronto yesterday with her dad as part of a whirlwind jaunt through Canada to promote her debut album, Undiscovered.

The 18-year-old is no stranger to the entertainment world, having spent the last 2 1/2 years on the VH1 reality show Hogan Knows Best.

Though Brooke says she still gets plenty of questions about her father , she's slowly carving her own path. She sang the national anthems at the 2004 Stanley Cup final between Tampa Bay and Calgary. Last month, she became the youngest woman to appear on the cover of lad's magazine FHM.

Still, none of her earlier success could prepare Brooke for the backlash she faced from critics who lambasted her CD, labelling her as a more shrill, less-polished version of Mandy Moore or Jessica Simpson.

"I'd love to invite (the critics) out to lunch and have them get to know the real me," said Hogan. "I think it's childish to judge somebody before you even know them."

Having faced a firestorm or two himself over his 30-year wrestling career, Hulk agreed. "

When your father's Hulk Hogan, people are going to criticize you because your dad's a wrestler," said Hulk.

While Brookeamania isn't exactly running wild — her album has sold fewer than 100,000 copies — the news hasn't been all bad for Brooke, who is also an accomplished pianist and dancer. Her first single, "About Us," has found a home on Billboard's Pop 100 for the past four months.

"I think with Brooke, the fact she plays piano and sings, and because she has that `it' ... she's the sum of all of those parts," said Hulk. "I think she has a really good shot at making it."

Life lessons

2006-12-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

There's a place in Wayland where some people go to spend their last days and where others learn a lot about life.

The Wayside Hospice at Parmenter Community Health is nestled off Cochituate Road, close to Dudley Pond and less than a mile away from Wayland High School, where the future seems endless for those inside.

This story is about three people whose lives have been interwined with Parmenter: a globe-trotting investment banker suddenly widowed with two young children; a photojournalist turned art therapist; and a German immigrant who once made headlines as a shrewd financial tycoon but now is quietly giving away millions.

Michael Halloran was just shy of 40 when his wife, Carolyn, died of a brain tumor. At their doctor's recommendation, she was cared for by Parmenter's visiting nurses in their Weston home until she died six years ago, at the age of 38.

"They reached out to me," Halloran said, adding that he was impressed that Parmenter offered help to his entire family.

He received a call from Deborah Marshall, the director of HEARTplay, a program for children experiencing the illness or loss of a loved one.

Marshall visited Halloran's home to meet with his daughters, then ages 5 and 7, and invited them to participate in HEARTplay, which uses art, music, games, and storytelling to help children come to terms with death. They are encouraged to recall joyful experiences to reinforce loving memories.

"The power of having a child come and sit in a circle and be with other children who have experienced the death of a parent or sibling is profound. They always think that they're the only one who has experienced tragedy," said Marshall, 54, who lives in Wayland.

She said the program succeeds in prompting children to reveal feelings they may be reluctant to express to family and friends.

"Often their stories sadden adults, who respond with tears or sympathy," she said.

Marshall, who has two children of her own, founded HEARTplay in 1995. She had previously worked as a photojournalist. One particular assignment helped spur her to change careers, she said. It was in Hamlen Woods, a conservation area in Wayland.

"The police were bringing out the body of a 6-year-old" who had been stabbed to death by his father, Marshall said. "I knew that there was something that I could do that could be more of a preventive educational contribution than taking pictures of body bags."

After interning at several hospices, she enrolled at Lesley University, from which she earned a master's in expressive therapies with a specialization in art in 1996.

These days, Halloran's daughters, now 11 and 13, sometimes assist Marshall in the HEARTplay programs.

"They're continuing their involvement, which is good for them, but they're also realizing that they're [helping] someone else who is going through" a loss, their father said.

For complete story visit http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/11/30/life_lessons/ .

Tamil Nadu Weekly Roundup

2006-11-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

THE state government has threatened to withdraw recognition of schools whose moral standards are poor.

School Education Minister Thangam Thennarasu said there have been several cases of student deaths, sexual exploitation on the campus and corporal punishment in government-aided schools recently.

A 17-year-old girl in Omalur in Salem district was found dead on November 18. Her body was found floating in a well inside the school campus with wounds.

Her parents alleged she had been raped and thrown into the well. They said two other students had died under similar circumstances earlier this year.

In Chennai two teachers were suspended for sexually abusing a student. Another teacher has been accused of hitting a six-year-old for damaging his bike.

The minister said a team was probing all incidents. "Once the report is ready, the government will take action including setting up a complaint cell for students."

Y's 'virtual personal trainer' will help to get you in shape

2006-11-23T02:53:00.000-08:00

By Jessica Sheedy

KERNERSVILLE

Have you ever thought of hiring a personal trainer, only to find out that it was too expensive?

Without coaching, most exercisers use poor form or lose motivation, which can lead to disappointing results and often a lack of commitment.

The Kernersville Family YMCA offers an exciting motivational tool - a "virtual personal trainer." The YMCA in Kernersville is one of only 500 centers in the United States with FitLinxx interactive coaching software.

FitLinxx monitors individuals through their workouts for better form and tracks their progress over time. Members' safety and confidence increase during every exercise.

FitLinxx is an easy-to-read touch-screen display that is attached to each strength-training machine. Users tap in their PIN to display their targets, and FitLinxx then coaches them on speed and form and tracks the workout session.

There are no workout cards to carry around, and you don't need to remember your seat or weight settings. Users log in their cardiovascular-exercise time so they can track their time and intensity.

The wellness staff reviews workouts and can identify people who may need a little help staying on track, which can help prevent exercise dropouts. Such incentives as shirts and sweatshirts are also provided to help increase adherence to the exercise.

In addition, FitLinxx provides a Web site for users to become more committed to their exercise program by checking their progress and entering their workout results.

The YMCA's cardiovascular equipment is replaced every three years. The newest treadmills, ellipticals, stairclimbers and bikes have been delivered. The YMCA has also added Nautilus TreadClimbers to its Wellness Center.

• Jessica Sheedy is the senior program director at the Kernersville Family YMCA.

Rose featured at historical society meeting

2006-11-15T03:37:00.000-08:00

SEMINOLE – The Seminole Historical Society will host Dr. Scott Rose at its meeting on Wednesday, Nov. 15, 7 p.m., at the Seminole Recreation Center.

Rose, remembered in the Seminole area as teacher and principal at Seminole High School during its early years, also was superintendent of the Pinellas County School System. Many who have attended Seminole High or had children there will enjoy reminiscing with Rose and sharing old school yearbooks and other memorabilia.

Historical artifacts, photos, documents, items of significance to the history of the Seminole area are welcome and can be brought to the meeting to add to the society’s growing collection for its future museum.

Brussels- Historical, Cozy and Sumptuous

2006-10-08T23:51:00.000-07:00

Historical, cozy and sumptuous, all three words nicely define the Belgium’s capital, Brussels. Eurocrats choose this city as their first option. Plethora of artistic excellence, architectural evidences and mouth-watering cuisines are the hallmarks of this jubilant city. Miles ahead in artistry, Brussels has got the recognition of being one of the best tourist spots in the world.

One can land in Brussels at any time of the year. However most of the visitors find the period between May and September. Brussels has got the recognition of being one of the best tourist spots in the world. The cosmopolitan nature of Brussels attracts attention of every individual. You will find the forest almost on you doorstep. Designer shops and comic strips are other things that allure people to visit this lively city.

Island of Barbados

2006-08-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

Fourteen years ago, my husband and I visited the island of Barbados on a cruise ship. Barbados is the farthest island of the Caribbean chain, and once we stepped off the ship, our love affair with the island started.

Being a travel consultant, I had read up on the island, and the images of "flying fish" and "green monkeys" stirred my imagination. When our ship docked, we opted to take an island cruise via taxi. Four hours later, we had covered the island's coastline from the calm waters of the west coast on the Caribbean Sea, to the raging Atlantic coast on the east, and the lively south coast. You just have to love an island that offers a completely different experience on all coasts. Upon returning home, we started planning a land based trip to the island. Being a beach lover, we made reservations for the next year on west coast of the island. I remembered the water being glassy calm, and longed to spend lazy days at the beach. The west coast attracts the rich and famous, and is home to fabulous homes, hotels and villas. This coastline is located on the Caribbean Sea, and the water is perfect for snorkeling and swimming. I found this unusual, since most Caribbean vacationers opt to experience new islands. What was even more surprising, many of the English and Canadian visitors spend the entire winter season on the island every year. As we walked the mile long Gap area, I knew this would be our future spot on the island each year. The west coast is rather sedate, and spread out compared to the lively south coast. The love affair with Barbados was in full swing.

Are the monkeys really green? I feel safe there, and unfortunately gain weight each year eating great food from one side of the island to the other. I love all of the Caribbean islands, but I'm in love with

Barbados

Inspired by Figleaf

2006-06-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Figleaf I took an hour or so out of my lazy afternoon to indulge in seeing what I didn't know I had. With camera in hand, I documented my arousal from cold start through the softly swelling waves of self-pleasure. Every few minutes, I would pause to take a photograph of my pussy, and resisting the almost inevitable judgments, I would resume my circling caresses. This play-pause-photograph cycle continued until I climaxed.

This healing aspect aside, it's quite engaging to watch your own flesh come to life. It brings a true visual awareness to a process we usually sink our feelings into, and deals a charming coup de grace to body dimorphic tendencies.

Then I sat back and looked at the pictures from beginning to end. Not with voyeuristic intention but through the eyes of what my lovers see. I realized how intimate and beautiful these images were, and how overly critical I've always been of myself.

2005-01-29T03:34:00.000-08:00

I could go on and on and relay in minute detail my trip to the in-laws’, but truthfully, there isn’t as much material there as I had hoped/feared. It was a lovely visit, under the circumstances. I will try and sum up, though. That will probably be plenty wordy for an entry.

We got away late on the trip down, partly because of the freezing rain, and partly because John just didn’t want to get his ass out of bed. I can’t really blame him, but come on. That put us at Gary’s place past midnight, where we spent the night, with less than two hours left to the farm.

Wee boy slept for twenty minutes before we finished running the last minute errands at home, but otherwise slept not a wink for the whole 10 hour trip. I’d hoped for an easy trip but both hubby and I were suitably impressed. On top of that, he was the most pleasant passenger in the vehicle. Not that any of us were particularly unpleasant, but he’s just so darn cute.

We hung out at Gary’s most of the day before heading down to mom and dad’s, so wee boy got a good break from the traveling and got to play with Gary’s little boy, who is 14 months or so. We arrived at the farm in the early evening after stopping to have supper and then a quick coffee with an old (female) friend of John’s.

I also have to comment on the wonder that is my son adapting so well to the varied sleeping arrangements throughout the trip. He slept like a log, for the most part. The car seat was a little tougher for him, but with his blankets and pillow from home, he had no problems elsewhere.

Once we’d arrived, there followed much visiting with various members of John’s family, in a multitude of combinations over the ensuing days. Plenty of the family had arrived for grandma’s funeral from out of town, and wee boy was introduced to a steady procession of relatives he’d never met and probably wouldn’t see again for quite some time. All of his aunties and uncles (some 16 or so) loved him to bits and he was at the height of congeniality for the duration of the trip, even when he came down with the sniffles the day of the funeral. A shot of Tylenol and a short nap fixed him right up, and he was back to being the life of the party.

I relaxed around the house most of Monday with wee boy while the rest of the family shopped and scurried around doing last-minute stuff, and then in the evening received condolences at the church. While everyone was off and about, I picked up around the house, did dishes, stuff like that. John had to buy Jr.’s clothes, but managed to scrounge enough out of his dad’s closet to get by on – shoes included. Wee boy and I spent a few hours exploring outside, where the temperatures reached a balmy 18C… only, with a cold wind, so you didn’t much notice. He was thrilled, however, having been less than impressed with the weather around home. He doesn’t even ask to go outside here anymore.

A minister visited the house that day and several more family members dropped by. I kept busy in the basement with the kids, mostly. I would have enjoyed listening to his tales of other countries, as seen during his work as a missionary, but less for the religious aspect of it all. These people are heavy on the worship. I noticed, several times throughout the few days that we were there, that many members of the family spent their leisure time discussing God, Jesus, or the Bible.

Despite the way it sounds, most of the family is pretty relaxed and non-judgemental. The oldest generations are the most uptight, of course, but even so everyone is outwardly warm and well-meaning. Mom and dad are much more relaxed, and most of John’s brothers and sisters are pretty tolerant – some are less proper than the others. The youngest son’s wife has a gay brother (gasp!). I never did get any dirt on what the family thinks about that, because I didn’t find that out until we got on the road back home. John couldn’t believe that mom had let her wear those tight, tight jeans into the house.

And he said he was very proud that I was one of the very few girls out of all of his sisters and sisters-in-law that didn’t change into pants when we got home from the funeral. I was mostly just comfortable, but I knew it would show some respect for the elders in the family, so I was pleased that he noticed, and even more pleased that he was pleased.

The funeral itself, Tuesday morning, was very nice. There was plenty of prayer, and beseeching of the Lord to save our pathetic sinning souls; but as far as religious services go, it was lovely. Mom had found a simple hat for me and so my heathen ass blended in well. I was a tad concerned that my hair was too long and too pretty and too tempting, or something, but it passed muster with the oldest generation even though I didn’t tie it back, and I later fielded a ton of compliments and even some light petting. *blush*

Wee boy was an absolute darling, staying quiet for the whole service, as well as in his auntie’s arms at the graveside, which blew me away until I discovered afterwards that he was running that fever. Still, he could just as easily been a nightmare because of it, so I was understandably very proud of him. He had his Hot Wheels and a baggie of Cheerios, so he was pretty content.

After the service and the brief luncheon (where, as at all formal meals, grace took about five minutes), we stopped again for a quick visit with another one of John’s old girl friends. He’d seen her and her husband earlier the day before for a coffee, when he was shopping with Jr., but she really wanted to meet wee boy. I hadn’t seen her for a while either, so it was good to visit with her again. It’s too bad we didn’t have a little more time, but we had to get going for dinner and family pictures at the farm.

Altogether, dad said there were thirty adults and about fifteen kids at the house that night. Wee boy had mastered the stairs to the playroom in the basement and was going about his business playing and mingling, doling out the love and being a little doll, albeit one with a faucet for a nose. He required so little looking after compared to the rest of the kids, and they hardly required any themselves, really, outside of a few mediated sibling spats.

After dinner, we took many many pictures since, finally, all of the grandchildren were all in one place. It’s always a big production with lots of singing and cheering to get the kids smiling, and wee boy got right into that, shrieking ‘HOORAAAYYY’ and clapping his hands continuously for nearly half an hour while everyone took their turns sitting for pictures. We even got one of our own little family, so I hope they turn out well enough to distribute if we choose. It’s a real bitch trying to arrange to have it done any other time.

Once pictures were over, I changed clothes and packed up, which itself took very little time if you don’t count the odds and ends I forgot and had to assimilate back in somewhere. Saying goodbye to everyone was the true ordeal in getting back on the road, but we finally managed to get out by 9pm in order to head back up to Gary’s for the night. He hitched a ride back home with us the next day.

Wee boy was considerably less impressed with the trip back, but he slept more, and was still awesome until about two hours from home, when he decided to set his heart on seeing my mother, and then promptly became inconsolable when no grandma could be produced. He was rescued from this funk quite accidentally, when he pulled his finger out of his soupy nose and batted at my face with it. My reaction cued the beginning of the “Yuk! Boogers!” Game, which continued for most of the rest of the drive. Jr. gamely played along.

John and I got on just peachy throughout, for the most part, although there’s enough left to be said there that it needs its own entry. You’ll all be happy to know that we made mad passionate love on Tuesday night, at least. I’m not sure if it was because of the skirt, or what.

All in all, we had a wonderful time with the family, and wee boy and Jr. got lots of special attention. I got to spend some quality time with John’s parents and family without him, too, and I remembered how much I really do like them all. It’s a shame we don’t live at least a teeeeensy bit closer together. John may have his issues with his family, and I don’t appreciate some of the things John’s had to deal with because of them, but they’ve always treated me well and accepted me as one of their own. It’s the religion that’s caused friction with me in the past, not the family.

The only downside to the whole journey is the 211 bones we’ll have to shell out for the speeding ticket we got halfway home. Happy Birthday, honey!

2005-01-27T03:17:00.000-08:00

Whew.

Well, we got back late last night, but I haven't had a whole lot of time on the laptop yet. The trip was great, but it's definitely nice to come home, aaahhhh. I haven't sat down a whole lot since we left - well, aside from all of the sitting in the truck, that is. My house needs to be cleaned and I still have stuff to unpack, and I have to do a bunch of baking now that Gary is back, and all I really want to do is lay around for a while...

I'll bang something out in the next day or two; I just wanted to check in before I hit the hay. Oh, how I've missed everyone! I hope you are all fabulous.

2005-01-21T03:18:00.000-08:00

100 Posts?

By the way, I think one of the last two posts was my hundredth post. It's hard to tell since blogger says it's 73, but I checked the other day.

So. Yay me! Thanks so much to my dear readers! And so forth.

Carry on.

2005-01-21T03:17:00.000-08:00

Life gets in the way, and then some

I was hoping to have time to leave you all with another (much more interesting) entry, but unfortunately I won’t be able to do that before I go.

John’s grandma passed away yesterday – she hadn’t been doing well for some time, but still, it was a little unexpected. She worsened and died within a few hours, or we would have otherwise taken great pains in order to be there sooner. I feel bad that we didn’t make it down with wee boy, so she, along with most of the rest of the family, could meet him; we’d been discussing it right before John ended up essentially unemployed last year. Now that he’s working steady and we have a few extra bucks, we were again planning on going in the next month or so.

I wish John’s mom had phoned earlier. We knew grandma was in and out of the hospital, and maybe it was more unexpected than it seemed to be, but John is still upset that no one called him until the day she passed away. She’d been in the hospital for over three weeks, apparently, and while my brother-in-law had mentioned it to me when she first went in, I kind of thought someone would keep us on top of how she was doing. We never heard another word, so we assumed she was doing relatively all right.

Of course, with all that was going on, and with mom being at the hospital day in and out, it’s totally understandable. I just know John will still be upset, regardless. He’ll understand, logically, but emotionally he’ll still be bitter about it.

Which leads us to John’s biggest beef with his mom – we’re almost ten years with the same phone number, and his mom can’t ever seem to hang on to it. It’s always her explanation as to why she doesn’t phone. She keeps in touch for a little while once she gets it again, but then that tapers off and, nothing. It makes John feel unimportant, for sure. I mean, you’d think she would try to keep her son’s phone number where she wouldn’t ‘lose’ it. Even I have her number memorized, and even if I didn’t, I damn sure would write it down and keep it somewhere. Not that John calls often or even seldom, but at least he doesn’t make her feel guilty about it like she does him. So, if it is just an excuse, it’s a pretty poor one. If you really don’t care to talk to him that badly, don’t pretend it’s something else.

Regardless… we’re headed out tomorrow morning and we won’t be back until Wednesday night. The funeral should be early Tuesday. We’ll be stopping at Gary’s on the way down to stay the night, and to drop off half of the meat we just got back from the butcher shop – all that deer meat that we had processed – and thank heavens Gary is taking some, because already I don’t have enough room for our half. Since the weather isn’t going to be cold enough this weekend for me to utilize the back porch or my car’s trunk as a temporary deep freeze, I have to pull a bunch of crap out of the freezer to try and make room for half of this stuff before we go, none of which, except for the burger, got wrapped in paper.

I have two-foot+-long sticks of summer sausage frozen solid, loose in a box. I have jerky sticks, also loose in a big box. The garlic sausage is in huge coils and tied with string, and, yes, it is also loose in a box. John never specified that he wanted the stuff cut and wrapped into manageable sizes, as he has never had to point out something so (we thought) obvious; and they didn’t ask beyond confirming that he didn’t want everything vacuum sealed in plastic at forty cents a pound. So, that’s what we got. Really, what the hell?

Sigh. Anyway, Gary is going to be catching a ride back with us, since he’s feeling well enough to try to do some easy work for Boss, so the truck is going to be a little crowded. John’s going to go pick Jr. up tonight too, as it’s been several years since Jr.’s seen his dad’s family (grandma never phoned him or sent a card for his birthday either). The truck is a crew cab, but ten or twelve hours in the back of one of those isn’t much more comfortable than sitting in an extended cab, and since Gary’s all fucked up physically, guess who gets to sit in the backseat all the way home? …Yours truly, you betcha. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but that doesn’t mean I am looking forward to it.

I’m hoping John’s able to get a small advance today – we don’t desperately need it but it will save me from using my loan account. We still have the gas card, so we don’t have to pay for fuel. If we had to, we’d probably be taking the car; but, the truck is probably a bit more road worthy at the moment, and John prefers to drive it anyhow, so whatever. We’ll be staying at mom’s, so we won’t have to pay for a room, or food, or anything. Normally we probably wouldn’t stay there – nothing against mom, we just like to have our own space – but with wee boy and Jr. along for the trip, I know mom will really enjoy having us all at the house, and she does have the room.

I hate leaving like this last minute! As you can imagine, I’ve got several lists on the go so I don’t forget to do anything or pack anything. I think I have enough time to get what I need to get done, but I do still have to buy a skirt before we leave, since I’m not allowed to wear pants in church. I’m not going to bother pissing with a hat, so if they don’t like it they can kiss my generous ass. John’s still got a good pair of dress pants (I was amazed that after a couple of years in the closet, they’re ready to wear and free of wrinkles. Bonus!). He just needs a dress shirt, so I have to pick one of those up too. There’s no way I am letting him wear one of his bad, really bad, 80s sweaters. If they weren’t so suitable for working in, I would have pitched them all to begin with.

Wish us nice driving weather, would you? There’s a forecast for freezing rain and shit… John’s assured me that nothing is going to stop us since we have chains, but if we don’t leave too early it should be fine driving. My mom is, of course, beginning her worrywart routine because my whole family is in one vehicle on the highway in the winter, and she can’t help but imagine whatever she would do if something were to happen to all of us. But we have to go, and we can’t leave the kids behind. I’m not worried – John is an excellent driver.

I’ll check in when we get back, and I’ll be chock full of new material, I’m sure.

Edit: Well, I ended up having to pick up Jr., but I got to leave wee boy at home with first my grandma, and then my mom, since the roads were yucky. I saw lots of wildlife, some of it in my headlights; and I almost got rear-ended by someone who wasn’t paying attention to my flashing brake lights. Whee! I wish he would have gone the extra few feet into the ditch.

And also, I found a suitable skirt right away. This is a big deal. The nice clerk found a new shipment just after I’d phoned, and hit star-69 to get my number so she could let me know they had some. I thought finding a long black skirt this time of year would be easier, but nobody had them, so that was sweet.

John was asked to be pallbearer, so now I have to find him a good jacket, too. All Jr. owns are cargo pants. I think we’ll just wait until we get down there. Should be cheaper anyhow. I hope it all looks good with hiking boots.

I still have lots to do and not much time to do it in, so I best be off!

2005-01-18T03:19:00.000-08:00

Life gets in the way

Well, it’s been several days since I last graced you with an entry, but I’ve had no real current material. There’s one topic I was planning on tackling, but I think I am going to include it in my serial, whenever the hell I get around to finishing that up. Honest, I will. Eventually. See, there’s plenty of material there, so why don’t I get on it? Yeesh.

John’s been working his arse off; he hasn’t had a day off since Christmas, pretty much. Up at 5am, and home by 9pm, but often later than that. The other night he didn’t make it back until 2am, and he still had to get up for work the next morning, the poor bastard. Such is life in the patch.

Quite obviously, there has been almost no time for le sex, much to my dismay. Even if there has been an opportunity, John is so beat that I doubt he’d be able to even get it up, much less stay awake long enough. I haven’t touched the issue, anyhow. It’s kind of a lost cause with work the way it is, so no sense in making a stink. It can’t be helped.

That doesn’t mean I’m not bummed about it and terribly, terribly horny, but I can’t be upset or pissed off since there’s not much he can do about it. It just is. More to the point, I feel awful for him because he’s been working so hard that he has barely been able to see the wee boy, who is usually in bed by the time he gets home, and doesn’t get up in the morning until long after daddy has left. I just do what I can to make John’s life as simple as possible, so that all he has to worry about is sleeping and getting his industrious self out the door in the morning.

I miss him.

The plus side of all of this is that the bills are totally getting paid, and we’re already back to having money left over once that has been done. I can’t tell you what a pleasure that is! We have a long way to go to get all those loans and crap paid back, but it will happen, and maybe it won’t take as long as I thought. I just have to plan for breakup, since we won’t have a huge tax refund to bail us out this spring. I hope we get a little bit of money back. If it weren’t for the maintenance he pays the ex, we probably would owe this year.

He’s been after the Boss about that gas card. The first couple times Boss waved him off, apparently, so John left it at that. The last time he asked, Boss said, “I told you, don’t worry about it.” So what is that supposed to mean? We don’t have to pay it now? We’re both a little confused by this one. John got another small raise on his daily wage, too. I wonder if Boss wasn’t happier about John coming back to work than he let on.

John’s got some guide work lined up for the spring already – one guy from the States that follows John around has gathered up six or seven other friends, so John called a different outfitter than the ones he’s worked for in the past (the one guy he would have gone out for this spring sold all his allocations this year, and his most recent employer doesn’t pay him enough for the bullshit he puts up with); he got himself hired on there, which was no problem with all the clients he’s bringing with. He should actually get some tips out of this bunch, too. So, between the guiding and the patch, I’m hoping he doesn’t end up with too much time off. Of course, some would definitely be nice.

I’ve been trying to get out of the house, but it’s been so cold, and snowing, and then yesterday it warmed up enough to rain before dropping back down to abysmal temperatures. I was supposed to go and visit my friend Laura today, but I’ve decided to go Thursday instead, when it shouldn’t be quite so frigging icy and cold. We did manage to get over to my mom’s and my grandma’s, at least. But other than that, wee boy has been battling boredom at home.

It would help if he would let me play more with him. Every time I grab, say, a truck from his garage set, he shrieks, “No! My truck!” and snatches it away. And so on through the fleet. I suppose I should thank my lucky stars that he plays independently so well, but it makes me feel as though I am being neglectful at times. I can’t wait until summer when we can play outside again. We’ve been watching far too much TV lately, especially in the afternoons when he zones right out for about three hours – the same period of time he should really be having a nap, but won’t, the stinker that he is.

Gary went back home last week. It just made sense; I mean, why bother staying here when you’re going to be off work for at least several weeks? So I was able to clean up all the clutter and I finally have the house to myself again. I like having the company and all, but the trade off is the privacy. Now I have lots of privacy, but nothing worth privatizing.

So… exciting update, huh? I wish I had more to tell. I’m definitely going to have to sit down and brainstorm my next entry, or get back in to my life story. Don’t worry. If worse comes to worst, I could post some recipes. Or something.

I hope everyone is doing well; and if your life is routine and boring like mine, like me you should be pretty pleased. If the days are dull in the absence of crisis, then give me dull any day.

By all means, if anyone has any burning questions, I’d be thrilled to oblige!

2005-01-13T03:20:00.000-08:00

I require supervision.

If you’ve been with me here for some time, you might remember Ray.

A few months ago, I tried to contact several people whom I haven’t seen or heard from in years – old friends from my east coast elementary school, and penpals from my teenage years, mostly. I was just hoping to hear how they were doing, to catch up on where life has taken them, and at the very least, to just let them know that they held a special place in my thoughts after so many years. Who wouldn’t like to find out that they are a piece of someone’s fond memories, especially after such a long time? I’d love to get a letter like that.

Naturally, when I was compiling this list of people, Ray’s name popped up as someone I’ve always wondered about – if he ever married, had kids, quit landscaping, and so forth. I wasn’t sure how appropriate contacting him would be, not knowing if there existed a jealous woman, and also aware that my husband likely wouldn’t understand (and that’s probably an understatement); so, I didn’t pursue it, initially.

I didn’t have too much luck locating the old penpals, though, unfortunately; and my school friends proved just as elusive, although I was at least able to find two addresses and send off a quick note to them. One of the girls, through Classmates.com, had sort of contacted my twin by requesting a picture – but, if you’re familiar with that site at all, you’ll know that you can’t reach anyone through them without paying for a membership. So, I was aware she was kicking around somewhere, but I didn’t know where and I couldn’t find out without attempting to write to her. I was pretty disappointed that I didn’t hear back – although I’m not sure if she ever did receive my letter. I sent it care of her parents’ old address, which appears to remain current. Still, no word.

I was a tad put out that my efforts met with such lame results. I didn’t actually ‘find’ anyone I had been trying to contact. My thoughts returned to Ray. I had an old address and phone number, but after ten years I hardly expected them to be valid anymore. I looked at his name and particulars for probably another week before I convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to have another look on the internet, to see what I could see.

What did I see? Only that he (still) didn’t appear to exist anywhere on the net. He never struck me as particularly tech-savvy, even back then, so no surprise there. It didn’t take too much longer to convince myself that a quick 411 call might supply me with a phone number. I never intended to call him, but I thought that with a number I might possibly be able to find an address. At this point I still hadn’t made up my mind as to whether or not I was actually going to write to him; I just knew that finding his phone number and address would be comforting, at least. It was that whole confirming-he-exists thing that I was really looking for, so I thought that would be enough.

To my surprise, he was still living in the same small town – or at least, someone with his name was living there. The operator supplied the number to me, and after hanging up, I set it aside and was content for a few days before my curiosity got the better of me. Into the reverse lookup went his number, and out came his name and a new address.

Even then, I sat on the address for a while. I wanted to drop him a line, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, or think I was stalking him, or whatever. I just wanted to say hi, and to thank him for the wonderful memories, and if I was lucky and/or deserving, I hoped he would let me know how he was doing. I certainly would never expect to keep in touch with him once that was out of the way, and it wasn’t what I was looking to do in the first place. I just wanted to put to rest that wee unfinished chapter in my life, and hearing from him would do it for me. I just wasn’t sure whether or not he would welcome such contact, never mind even remember who the hell I was, and I certainly didn’t want to upset him or cause any trouble. So, I did nothing and sat on the address some more.

I probably would not have written at all if I hadn’t been so dissatisfied that day with my own marriage. Not to say that I was writing with ulterior motives in mind, or that I was hoping he would be single and would sweep me off my feet, or anything of that nature – but I admit that a lack of attention from my own husband was sort of steering me to seek some validation elsewhere. Anywhere. Some kind words from an old boyfriend, one who I couldn’t otherwise associate with in any fashion, would do just fine. Plenty safer than inviting my friend Matt over for coffee, say.

Ever the procrastinator, I wrote a letter, explaining who I was, where we’d met, why I was writing, and about my good life, my lovely husband (who he might remember me telling him about before), and beautiful kids; and then I sat on that for another week or so. By the time I reread it, I wasn’t as upset with John anymore, and the fact that I wrote the letter when I had been was glaringly obvious, so I scrapped the first draft and wrote another, less flowery one. And I still didn’t send it.

Two more drafts and several days later, I was satisfied that my letter was appropriately concise and benign, so I sealed it in an envelope and put it aside, still not decided on whether or not to send it or throw it out – until the day I said ‘fuck it’ and dropped it in the mailbox. The only thing I had considered adding to the letter, and hadn’t, was a short disclaimer to any lady he was potentially with, reassuring whoever else that might read it that my intentions were honourable, in case the manner I’d wrote the letter in wasn’t 100% clear.

Of course, I assumed my approach was obvious enough, and that the average woman would be satisfied by that - and like me, not threatened by such a letter. If John heard from the girl that broke his heart so many years ago, I would be fine with it – actually, I would be happy for him, because I know what it would mean to him. How silly of me to make such an assumption!

I was online about a week later, doing my thing, when at about 11pm, my call director popped a window up displaying his name and phone number. I never expected him to phone me; to be honest, I didn’t expect to hear from him at all, most especially not so promptly and at such a late hour. I almost didn’t answer it, but how could I not? My heart was pounding as I picked it up.

I’m not sure how else to describe the ensuing conversation, but ‘awkward’ would fit. Right off the bat, two things were apparent – he didn’t remember me, and he had a jealous fiancée in the room with him. She’d found the letter in the mail, and accused Ray of meeting someone on a trip he’d taken the year before in my home province. I gathered that she hadn’t opened it, instead waiting for him to return home before presenting him with it and demanding an explanation. He’d given it a quick read-through and phoned me afterwards to try to determine who the hell I was.

If he’d had more time to digest the letter, he’d have remembered me. I explained again who I was, how we’d met, and so on, everything that I had written in the letter. He was asking me in front of her why I had written, and I assured him again that I had no designs on him, and that I merely wanted to catch up and say thanks for the memories. I heard him say, “Are you hearing this?” to her, and repeating what I was saying.

Well, this is uncomfortable.

When he did finally recall who I was, his tone grew less bewildered and upset; he was hardly warm and friendly with me, but I could tell that he held no hard feelings and was trying not to hurt mine, or something. He said he was still alive and doing well. I told him that was good to know, apologized profusely, and assured him that he’d never hear from me again.

That was the way things had to be, said he. Absolutely, I agreed. We exchanged goodbyes and that was that. That wasn’t quite the way I would have scripted it, had I the opportunity.

For a couple of days I felt a little sick about causing such a fuss, for having done such a foolish thing by writing the letter in the first place. Even though all I wanted to do was say hello and look forward to the same, I did it for selfish reasons and I should have left well enough alone. That’ll teach me to seek even the smallest of attentions from any man other than my husband! I shouldn’t even attempt platonic friendships with any man that I would possibly be – or had been – at all romantically interested in, given half a chance in a parallel dimension. I should just accept the anticipation that I will be rejected, in any event and not just at home, in order to deter such floosiness in the future. I felt guilty and not a little embarrassed.

I got over it, though. I’m not saying that I don’t still feel bad about it, and I sure hope I didn’t end up a catalyst for the breakup of someone’s future marriage, heaven forbid. But I’m also of the mind that if something so extreme were to happen because of an obviously innocent letter, there were bigger trust issues present before I came along, that if it wasn’t me it would be someone else, and that they’d probably both thank me later. Of course, I’ll never know if it was a non-issue or what, will I? I do hope they’ve both forgotten about it by now.

I know Ray will never read this, but if he ever somehow does, I’d just want him to know that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered him; I just wanted to tell him that he meant something to somebody, even if that day was in the past. I was hoping to bring a smile to his face, even if only to please mostly myself. I didn’t mean to cause a row. I wanted a bit of closure, and I certainly got it.

It’s been a slice.

2005-01-10T03:21:00.000-08:00

More of the same - well, except for Gary

John’s been working hard and hasn’t had any time off lately. Usually he’s up and gone by 6am or so, and back home by 9pm - but that’s mostly just because he’s working pretty close to home, and because Gary is his hand. He isn’t required to travel to the city and back to pick anybody up, or he could tack another two hours travel onto his day.

Work itself is still a circus. One of the new employees blew up one of the tanks the other day, and as of yesterday hasn’t shown back up for work. Another new guy, that John put a good word in for, has been doing well, though – John worked with him when he was guiding last fall (he’s the boss’s son). He and his girlfriend just moved up here, not too far from our place. If John can just populate the company with more respectable employees, he might not feel like quitting anymore. He’s getting a little tired of cleaning up after all the retards around there. It’s shades of the last hellish winter that he put in.

And John’s last raise, on his mileage, wasn’t exactly a raise because they’ve eliminated his truck’s day rate. He’ll probably make up for it regardless, but he was a tad disappointed about that. He thought he was really rich there, for a moment.

In case you haven’t guessed, either - if I’m not commenting on my sex life it means I’m not getting any, obviously. Bummer, that; but it’s due to work and all, so I’m not bitter. Much.

Myself – I’ve just been staying around home, cooking, cleaning, and mothering; and also, anticipating the mid-month check so I can get a better idea of where we’ll be at financially. I’m thinking I can get several bills cleaned up, but until I see it I won’t know for sure. I also have to consider the gas card John’s been using blindly. Since it’s the company card and his receipts don’t have dollar amounts on them, we have no idea how much he’s used of it until the boss lets us know, and if I have to wait for Busy John to find out, I’ll be waiting a long time. I think I might just phone Boss myself.

We haven’t gotten out of the house a whole lot, wee boy and I, but it’s been so damn cold we don’t much feel like leaving the house. We took the gift certificates the other day and went grocery shopping – which, if you’ve ever had the opportunity to just go and spend wildly on food, you might agree is a lot of fun. Well, I think it’s fun, anyhow. Still, after all was said and done, I went way over budget. But, I won’t have to do any major grocery shopping for quite some time. I’ve got my pantry stocked right up again, like it used to be.

Wee boy wasn’t too happy about a two hour long shopping trip, but he was so patient and accepting of it, as he usually is. He sat quietly in the cart and ‘Oh, Wow’ed over all the displays and foods he recognized, in between his book and his car and the odd bite of banana, and when he got tired of that and his repeated suggestions of ‘all done’ elicited no results, he made as if to nap in the cart on his coat even if he never actually fell asleep. He entertained himself mostly by flirting with all of the ladies that passed by, the little charmer. How many two year olds do you know that would endure a like excursion with such great aplomb? It’s not an unusual thing for him to do, and I just love him for that.

Gary has been working hard too, right alongside John. Although, since Jr. has been here he’s decided he prefers to sleep on the cot in the front room, which is easier on his back than Jr.’s waterbed. I don’t mind so much, but I’d really rather that he slept in a bedroom. With the cot and his suitcase and all his clothes about, it makes the room terribly cluttered and also makes me feel anxious and more disorganized than usual, which is a lot; not to mention that I have to tiptoe around at night, and that John and I don’t have any privacy outside the bedroom. Not that it makes a difference, I suppose. The cot doesn’t fit in the bedroom with the waterbed or I would just move him back in there.

Yesterday, though, Gary had to go to the hospital. The day before he’d been complaining of some massive pain in his belly, and I was all prepared to run him in to outpatients the night before last, thinking that perhaps he had a kidney stone or something. Unlike John, he doesn’t complain unless something is really wrong. But, the pain was off and on, and after supper was finished, it was off again, so he thought it might be gastritis or something, decided not to go, and just went to bed. The next morning it was worse again, and was putting his pale ass on the verge of passing out, so John forced him to go in and arranged for a replacement.

Wouldn’t you know, they rushed Gary right into surgery and took his appendix out yesterday, so we’re all quite pleased that he got his stubborn self in there – one more day and it probably would have ruptured, they said. When we hadn’t heard from him all day we kind of wondered what was up. He’s probably going to be off work for a few weeks, unless Boss can find him some easy and likely unnecessary work that he’s willing to let Gary collect a check for. Either way, he’s unemployed for a while, and the thought of taking the time off isn’t sitting well with him.

I went and picked him up today, and he’s been taking it real easy. I would be quite happy to wait on him more, but he’s the type that doesn’t like to be a bother. I’m not sure if he’ll be heading home for a while – which I would expect, only he’d have to take the bus and it’s an extra long trip – or if he’s just going to hang out here. If that’s the case, I imagine his girlfriend will be coming up to dote on him, so I’ll have two more guests with their young son along. Wee boy would be thrilled, of course, as they’re close in age, but I don’t really relish the thought of more company when all I want to do is be alone with my husband. She and I get along great, though, so it sure could be worse.

The guys were both supposed to be heading out to camp for six weeks, apparently, but they were also supposed to be leaving today. Gary won’t be going now, obviously, since he can’t handle any lifting or repetitive stress for about the same length of time, but John will go regardless if it materializes. As it is, John just knows that he’s staying where he’s at until Thursday. After that, who the hell knows. He’ll find out the night before he leaves (upon such time I will be insistent that he look after his duties as my husband before he is allowed to leave the house).

I imagine that he’ll have a few days off here and there, but neither of us is looking forward to it too much. I think John’s more upset that he won’t see the kids, frankly, but I know he will miss me too. He just doesn’t seem to think I need to hear that.

I’m thinking I should hit the love shop on payday and buy that new phallic friend I’ve been meaning to get.

2005-01-07T03:22:00.000-08:00

100 Things About Me

Since it’s a new year, and I’ve been at this blog thing for six months or more, I thought I would bestow upon you all the ever-popular List. I think even I learned something from it.

1 – I am very close to six feet tall. I just round up.
2 – I like to wear shoes that emphasize my height.
3 – I don’t like to wear socks.
4 – Or underwear.
5 – If I could get away with it, without succumbing to gravity, I’d rather not wear a bra either.

6 – If you’ve inferred that I prefer to sleep nude, you are correct.
7 – I usually sleep on my left side.
8 – I have pierced ears, and that’s it.
9 – I have one tattoo. It’s a bird of paradise and it’s on my upper left arm.
10 – I ‘d like to get a dragon tattoo someday, because I love dragons, and also because Dragon is my Chinese astrological sign. Until last year, I thought I was a Snake.

11 – Yes, I’m a leftie.
12 – I can draw really well, but I don’t do it as often as I should… almost never, actually.
13 – I don’t write with my arm all screwed up like most lefties (including my dad).
14 – I’ve always wanted to be able to play an instrument, but aside from a short stint in junior high playing the flute, it’s not something I ever pursued with any seriousness.
15 – I can spell like nobody’s business.

16 – I have two pets – a 9-year old overweight tabby cat that came from a litter of strays at the farm, and a pretty 6-year old mutt that we picked up at the animal shelter.
17 – Love the pets; HATE the pet hair. Hate.
18 – I live about 200 yards away from a railroad.
19 – Often, I am a stone’s throw from a herd of cows. Front or back door.
20 – I grew up in this house and have spent most of my life in it…

21 – Except for just over three years that I spent on the east coast, one year in my parents’ new house down the road, and one year renting in town.
22 – I had Honour Roll marks all twelve years in school.
23 – I rarely, if ever, did any studying.
24 – I regret I didn’t try harder and do my absolute best.
25 – I prefer to watch educational TV.

26 – When I’m not in the mood for such dry programming, I’ll choose South Park, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, or The Daily Show.
27 – Or movies.
28 – I don’t watch sitcoms, as a general rule. It has to be pretty damn good if you catch me watching it.
29 – I’d listen to more music but my stereo doesn’t play CDs anymore – hasn’t for years, sadly. And my DVD player has the shittiest sound quality. I have to rely on my satellite’s music channels.
30 – I have come to enjoy plenty of children’s programming, including but not limited to Blue’s Clues, Peep and the Big Wide World, Sesame Street (which I have always loved), This Is Daniel Cook, Hi-5, Max and Ruby, and anything with the Kratt Brothers.

31 – I love to read. I’ll read absolutely anything, but as with TV I usually choose non-fiction.
32 – I wish I were tidier and more organized.
33 – And less of a procrastinator.
34 – I’m terrible when it comes to keeping in touch with people, but I have no problem picking up where we left off, as though no time has passed.
35 – I don’t do Christmas cards and I often forget birthdays.

36 – I’d much rather spend time talking with someone than buying them a card they’re probably going to throw away anyway.
37 – I keep every card I receive because I feel guilty if I throw them away.
38 – Receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable, usually.
39 – I don’t give gifts to anyone outside my immediate family unless etiquette dictates it, probably because of #38.
40 – I’d much rather give the gift of fresh-baked goods than anything else.

41 – I like to paint my finger- and toenails funky colours, such as those found on vehicles. My favourites are royal blue and chrome.
42 – I worry I am getting too old to pull it off anymore.
43 – My style is pretty conservative, so that helps. I try to go for classy, or perhaps classy with cleavage.
44 – Of course, I’m not terribly classy around the house, so I miss working for that reason, among others; I dress comfortably but not like a total slob.
45 – I have an intense weakness for cheese of all kinds, but those Kraft Singles are like crack. I have to abstain.

46 – And Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips with copious amounts of salsa... well.
47 – I don’t drink often, but when I do it’s either red-eyes, Caesars, tequila, or spiced rum.
48 – I smoke way more marijuana than I drink alcohol.
49 – Aside from one instance with mushrooms of the magic sort, I’ve never done any other drugs, nor had any desire to.
50 – I broke my nose on a sofa once when I was young and obliterated. I was drinking out of someone else’s bottle, at his urging, without knowing exactly what it was (which I don’t recommend, by the way). I think he was trying to incapacitate me enough to get me into the closet and cover me with hickeys again.

51 – My nose is the only bone in my body that I’ve ever broken.
52 – I’ve only been in the hospital four times – to get my tonsils out at 8; when I slipped and impaled my hand on a bill peg at work; for my breast reduction; and to have my baby.
53 – I play a mean game of pool.
54 – Also, cribbage.
55 – I can make small talk with anyone and enjoy meeting new people, although in social situations I tend to keep to myself around people I don’t know.

56 – My biggest beef with people is a lack of courtesy and respect for others, which, if you think about it, is at the root of every problem, really. It infuriates me, not just as a human being, but also as a veteran of the service industry.
57 – I love to flirt, despite that (or more likely because) I can’t follow through. Well, I could, but I don’t.
58 – Although monogamous, I tend to fixate on other men, but never more than one at a time. I suck as much life out of the crush as I can, and then I move on to another one. It could be a friend, or a co-worker, or less often, some obscure celebrity. I’m totally out of my Bruce Campbell phase now, but that one was on and off for years.
59 – I always thought I had a ‘type’, and I do notice the tall, slim, broad-shouldered, geeky guys a lot quicker, but this innate preference has never stopped me from making a determination of sexiness. I find myself attracted to the darnedest people.
60 – In other words, personality is way more important to me than looks. If you’re genuine and you can make me laugh, I’m yours.

61 – I still love flirting with the pretty boys, sure; but if that’s all there is to them, I move on.
62 – As you can see, sometimes I fantasize that I am single. Not because I wish to be, or anything - I love my husband, but I’m thinking I didn’t get to play around as much as perhaps I needed to.
63 – In my next life, I would choose to be more of a raging slut.
64 – Still, I’ve had thirteen sex partners in total, but only one in the last decade.
65 – I sometimes wonder what would have become of me if I had not found John so early. Thirteen is a pretty big number.

66 – I didn’t even start until I was sixteen, for crissakes.
67 – As it is, I’m always seducing people in my head. ‘Seducing’ could mean ‘delivering an impromptu anonymous blowjob on some guy’, for instance. Good thing there isn’t any more testosterone in my system or I would be out of fucking control.
68 – I haven’t been in every possible position or location, or done a whole lot of fetish or role-playing, but I’ve had my fair share of experiences.
69 – I’m willing to try anything at least once, except acts involving kids, animals, corpses, or anything that belongs in a toilet.
70 – Aside from the common sex-with-a-stranger scenario, and not just the consensual kind, I will also admit to having strap-on and three+some fantasies (both with either sex).

71 – I love to give blowjobs. It’s such a power trip.
72 – I’m sure I’m bisexual but I’ve never had the opportunity to truly test that theory.
73 – I’d much rather look at naked women than men, and I can’t wait to taste a pussy one day, but I really do worship cocks… so I’m just assuming.
74 – Is this all too much information? I tend to think so.
75 – I’ve got a clean driving record – no accidents, just one speeding ticket, and one seatbelt ticket (in my driveway, no less; the one time that I didn’t put it on for two blocks. That’ll learn me).

76 – I’ve been arrested before, but not charged with anything. Cuffs hurt.
77 – Oh yeah – another fantasy of mine is to seduce an on-duty cop right out of his uniform. No other uniforms need apply.
78 – I can dance but I only do it when I’m drunk.
79 – I can also sing, but not well enough to ever make a career out of it or anything.
80 – When it comes to memorizing song lyrics, though, my mind is as a steel trap.

81 – People always seem to think I should be a leader, but I’m really much more comfortable being led.
82 – I love to sleep but I typically only leave myself five or six hours a night, for whatever reason. I always find one.
83 – I’m naturally pretty physically flexible but it’s never something I have worked at.
84 – I love to play video games and I also kick ass at them. I’m a child of the Atari age, and I’ve never quit playing, I’ve just changed platforms.
85 – Everything I know about computers I’ve learned on my own. I’m no whiz, mind you; but I grew up using them, so I’ve accumulated a good working knowledge along the way, and I can fix most of my own problems.

86 – Don’t know a whit about programming, though.
87 – I own very little in the way of high-tech gadgetry – just my 200MHz desktop, my 700MHz laptop, and a video camera that also takes digital pictures. I don’t even have a working cell phone right now, and the one I would use is analog. John uses an obsolete bag phone in his truck.
88 – I have dialup, and no other option but, so I don’t download music or movies; and even if I did, I don’t have a burner of either sort.
89 – In any event, I would still purchase my entertainment rather than steal it, given the opportunity.
90 – I used to have penpals when I was young, and I kept in touch with people in Tennessee, Iowa, Germany, and Canada’s east coast, among others, not to mention the friends I had from Atlantic Canada who I kept in touch with for so many years.

91 – I have several shoeboxes packed full of all of the letters I’ve ever received.
92 – I’ve also kept some of the notes and notebooks my friends and I used to pass around in elementary and junior high school. They’re a riot.
93 – I’m a crack shot at long range with a rifle, it seems.
94 – I wore braces for four years as a teenager because I had the most crooked teeth I’ve ever seen.
95 – I’m missing two permanent teeth. They were pulled to make room for the rest of my oversized teeth.

96 – I have large eyes. When I say that, I mean my eyeballs are actually larger than your average eyeballs.
97 – My second toe is longer than my big toe. Actually, my toes are all freakishly long.
98 – I wear size 11 wide women’s shoes, if I can find them. I’m not above buying men’s shoes (size 9) if it means I’ll get footwear that fits.
99 – My baby boy falls into 50th percentile for everything except head circumference, in which he is 75th. From whom does he get his robust Charlie Brown skull?
100 – There’s nothing quite like wrapping up my list by making myself out to be an anomaly.

I intimidate people, apparently. I can’t for the life of me figure out why…

2005-01-03T03:23:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve 2004 circa 1993

Thankfully, New Year’s Eve held little to no drama, and yet I've still got enough to ramble on about for several more pages. I wish I could manage this posting thing a little differently, but it is what it is!

I’d managed my time beautifully that day, though. Because I planned on staying the night at Phil and Shelley’s, I had to prepare dinner for the guys to eat after I’d left, as well as lunches for the next day, not to mention cleaning up the kitchen (twice) and trying to help Jr. get the homework done that was still left over from when he was down with pneumonia… and then there was an unexpected errand in town that I had to run. Plus, it was Gary’s birthday, so I had to bake and ice a birthday cake for the poor hardworking bastard - he was able to go home for Christmas on the 23rd and made it back four days later; but then, it was straight back to work with John, gone by 5am and home by 10pm.

For several days their eyes were as pissholes in the snow. Often they barely even had time to eat through the whole shift. There’ve been a few problems with some of the other employees – John had to fire one, which he wasn’t even sure he was allowed to do; but he did anyway, and it wasn’t vetoed. Said employee had designs on being a night supervisor with absolutely no experience and with a fresh hit and run under his belt, in a late attempt to get to work - he put some poor vehicle and occupants unknown in the ditch and left them there! One of his first shifts he spent sleeping in the shack. Star material, that one. I don’t know if anyone reported him to the police, but I damn sure would have if I had known his name and/or license plate number.

The guys’ night shift replacement has also been routinely late, meaning John and Gary are working part of that shift while the slackers are getting paid for it. Another guy is pretty fresh off getting stabbed in the face for stealing some other guy’s handgun, and since he’s arrived plenty has gone AWOL already, including equipment from John’s shack. Yet another newly hired, notorious thief is also under surveillance at the moment. The big money jobs always seem to attract social rejects… probably because they need the big money or the stolen big money equipment to support their meth habits. They just jump from job to job until they find an employer who will put up with their shit or turn a blind eye. Since the ‘patch is forever in need of skilled workers, apparently this isn’t too difficult to accomplish.

However, John is persevering and he’s already received a second raise – this time on his mileage reimbursement, some crazy amount like another 40 or 50 cents a kilometre, I think. On a couple hundred kilometres a day, it really adds up. Basically, his boss isn’t making any money off of him anymore – John’s getting what the boss is getting paid for putting him to work. John’s worth it, though. He’s the most reliable, hard-working, trustworthy employee they have going. Good help really is a bitch to find. Boss does find little ways to let John know how relieved he is to have him back at work, so I think John is more aware how appreciated he really is. He has a tough time seeing that, usually, the pessimist that he is.

So, on the relationship front, not much is new and exciting. No intimate encounters to report, either. John has barely been here, and when he is he’s only been awake for just long enough to eat and possibly make it to bed. What time he has spent coherent has generally been heavily coloured by the stress of work politics and lack of sleep. Fun, fun.

He was ever so crabby this morning when I objected to the comment he made in regards to ‘turning wee boy into a girl’, what with all of the kitchen related toys that he received for Christmas – play microwave, fake food, and so on - the kid loves to ‘cook’, but he also loves his trucks and cars, and I pointed that out, too. John didn’t seem to see how his comment might be construed as offensive to me, or women in general. I wasn’t trying to make a big issue out of it - I just asked him not to say such things in front of wee boy. I’m no feminazi, obviously, but he certainly doesn’t need to be reinforcing gender stereotypes with our son and insulting me in the process.

In defending his choice of words, he pointed out that if any of my friends, say Lucas or Phil, were to say such a thing, I would be laughing and accepting of it, and I wouldn’t be pulling this bullshit with Phil. That’s hardly correct, but it didn’t stop him from entering into a mini-fucking-tirade on how I need to learn how to not take stuff so seriously, and that if it were anyone else but him I would just brush it off. Well, I’m not exactly married to ‘anyone else’, nor am I trying to raise a respectful child with ‘anyone else’, and I expect him to respect me just a tad, most especially in front of children I’ve borne. That was pretty much the end of that discussion. I know he’s tired, but meow.

Methinks John was more jealous of my fun than I initially predicted, no? God forbid I ever have any. And, no, John’s not threatened by Phil. He’s threatened because I had fun, and it happened to be with Phil and co. and not him. Strange, how he has had ample opportunity to show me some fun in the recent past and yet he’s chosen not to. I don’t think he has any right to be a bitch about it. I hate it when he tosses in comments like that; he says something isn’t a big deal, and then as soon as we have the next argument, he whips out the guilt trip. I thought that was female territory.

Today they had a shop day, so they didn’t head in until 11am or so, and they stopped to help my uncle put a cow down on the way out – no one on the farm can bear to put any of their pet cows out of their misery if need be, so they call the big Super Hunter Man with his powerful rifle to come and dispatch the suffering as necessary (or, alternately, to borrow his chainsaw, or services with such, on occasion, as he was also the Chainsaw Avenger in a previous incarnation).

Later he phoned me to whine about the finances, even though I tried to explain them in a non-threatening fashion earlier when I’d told him that we only had 30 bucks to our name until mid-month, once I’d paid all the bills that absolutely had to be paid. I was still required to put off about 600 bucks worth that wasn’t as dire, but could have used some money thrown at it. He didn’t get very far on that tack before I set him straight about the importance of electricity and the avoidance of loan-payment default.

His self-righteous moneybags attitude withered pretty quickly when he realized I was making sense, and that I wasn’t hiding any money or spending it unnecessarily (which I never do, by the way, and yet it comes up in a roundabout way again and again) – there actually wasn’t enough to cover everything. Imagine that, coming off all those months of insufficient paychecks, that we should have a backlog of bills! The nerve! I should have been able to stretch that money to cover everything all at once and with money left over, by gum.

I understand that he is working so very hard and making an excellent living and that it’s frustrating when he still doesn’t have any money to show for it at the end of the pay period, but I’m doing the best I can with what I’m given, as I have always done over the years. If the budget was up to him, we would have declared bankruptcy ages ago.

Whee.

So, back to New Year’s Eve, which was a lot more fun than dealing with my lately cranky husband.

By the time I arrived at close to 10pm, thanks to a wired wee boy who wasn’t terribly happy about going to bed (“No nap!! No nap!!”), the party was already well under way. Snacks were out and the music mix was nostalgically apropos. It was a fairly small gathering compared to the initial invite list, only about 15 people or so, but I felt it was just right and everyone who really mattered showed up. Apparently, they were waiting for little ol’ me to break out the alcoholic checkers, so in short order we had the board set up with shots of Arbor Mist. I can’t imagine playing it with anything stronger, or at least, playing more than one round.

The first match pitted Shelley’s dad and I against Shelley and Shane, Phil’s friend from work. Shane and his wife Jeri had been drinking since 6 or 7, and they were both plenty corked. Shane was exponentially more talkative with a little booze in him. Jeri, who never drinks, was one of the sloppiest drunks I’ve ever come across. Shelley spent much of the night following them both around with the mop.

Shelley’s dad and I wiped the board with the other two. We were the only ones who could see past the one move, so it was a cinch – Shelley wasn’t even buzzed yet, she just isn’t that good at checkers, apparently. Since she was sober, she gracefully took most of the shots to save Shane’s ass, and then dumped all of our leftover ones into her glass to finish them off.

I played Lucas’s wife next, since she claimed a need to catch up to everyone else, having just gotten off work and sober as a judge (or most judges, anyway). I kicked her ass, too. Shane, who was watching me do so in between fetching snacks, drunkenly working the room, and helping Lucas’s wife with her penalty shooters, immediately demanded a rematch, confident in his ability to shame me by beating me at what appeared to be my own game. I hadn’t played checkers in years, but it’s not chess, for crying out loud.

So, naturally, I kicked Shane’s ass again. He was in sorry shape to start out with – still functioning but obviously far more intoxicated than anyone had any right to be. He was absolutely astounded that I beat him so soundly, and he came up to me over and over throughout the night to repeatedly profess his respect for me, and my checkers skills, and claiming that he doesn’t usually get beaten at anything, so good on me for doing so. I think I wowed him. With checkers. I thought he was going to put the moves on me, or something, the way he was nattering on about it.

He vowed revenge but there was no way I was making him drink any more shooters, especially since we didn’t have anything besides Crown Royal to put in them. Plus, despite winning and not being required to actually drink anything, I was still downing cocktails and port on the side and was on my own merry way to becoming sufficiently inebriated. Thank goodness we never got around to playing Black/Red.

I made a run down to the bar for more Kahlua with a sober driver, another acquaintance from so many years back. There was nothing noteworthy about that, except that I got to see my friend Matt, who had been successfully coerced into bouncing that night since they were short-staffed, and he was none too pleased about it. It was a zoo there; it reminded me of how happy I am that I don’t bartend anymore. They never did give me any Kahlua, though, because they needed to keep what they had to serve drinks with. And, no Tia Maria either, so we had to settle for some Bailey’s instead. I can see that I definitely don’t have any pull there anymore, darn it.

Back at the house at near midnight, Lucas, who had been enamoured with the thought of fireworks the week prior, pulled four pieces out of the box of booze he’d brought and lamented the fact that we didn’t have more. What seemed to me like a bad idea last week was suddenly fabulous, and I headed to the backyard with glee just like everyone else to send them off.

Well, of course fireworks are a bad idea, right? Especially in the hands of drunks. But I’m not sure whose fault it was that the screamer lived up to its name and screamed directly at the heads of those standing near the shed, nearly taking Jeri out in the process - who, with amazing reflexes for someone so hammered, dropped to the snow like a stone - before screaming its way over the roof of the house and out of sight. The whole fireworks procedure took all of maybe three minutes, so we dragged the fun out by lighting some stubborn sparklers and congratulating Jeri for narrowly avoiding a dance with death, before retreating from the bone-chilling cold (-35C, I think it was) to cook cheeseburgers in the kitchen.

The do was split between the upstairs and the basement, better known as the newly transformed Olde Tyme Party Roome – the ambience eerily reminiscent of Phil’s old duplex, where we spent many a soused eve. The rest of the night was spent drinking and chatting into the wee hours, until a spate of slower songs rightly signalled bedtime at about 4:30am. In that time, Phil made his rounds and got cozy with all the ladies, but aside from Shelley, mostly with me, and possibly Jeri, who was really more in need of someone to hold her up and keep her awake. I espied her caressing his back at one point in the evening and was inappropriately jealous, even though I’d had a couple of opportunities to do the same. In both, he let me and reciprocated. It sounds naughty but it was all very innocent and about as platonic as caressing people can get, really; and it was enough excitement for me anyway, although the drunker I got the dirtier my thoughts became. Terrible, huh? Good thing I know how to behave.

But oh, the next morning I was a hurtin’ unit. I got up around 11am with everyone else who had spent the night. Shelley’s brother was a doll and cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. The rest of us sat around and groaned until Lucas moved his truck so I could pick up the baby and get home. Jr. had spent the night at home with John and Gary, but they’d been gone since 5am to work, so I didn’t want to leave him alone all day or anything. He declined to come to my mom’s to pick wee boy up, instead choosing to stay at home and ‘work on his homework’ (read: play PS2).

Mom chastised me for drinking too much, of course, since I didn’t exactly listen to her well-meaning advice to take it easy, but then she promptly ordered me to bed to get some more sleep. After a couple of hours I took wee boy home and spent most of the rest of the day on the couch, in between tending to the baby and Jr. and venturing to the bathroom to puke up whatever water I tried to drink. It wasn’t until the guys got home at 10pm and I had to cook supper for them that I felt any better, and I even managed to get some rice into me. I would have asked John to cook the steaks but I don’t remember ever seeing him so exhausted.

By the time I got lunches made and the kitchen tidy and smokes rolled it was after 1am. I collapsed into bed with a hearty sigh, and with a full night’s sleep in me, I felt much, much better the next day… which was great because I had to spend most of it in the car driving Jr. home, and the roads were shitty. Some woman lost her daughter in an accident on the same highway the day before, because the roads were so icy. Thank heavens for my new tires.

To sum up: New Year’s Eve was a hoot and a holler this year. I think Phil and Shelley are turning the evening into an annual event, so quite obviously I am very much looking forward to the next bash.

I hope all my friends had as much fun!